No Excuses for Cliches

I received this comment to another post here two years ago and should have pulled it out for a stand-alone post then. Better late than never:

Seems to me that a lot
of folks do use cliches quite commonly. With that in mind, wouldn’t
that show the writer was trying to portray realistic dialogue

No, it would simply show that the writer is using cliches. Just
because real people speak in cliches, that’s not an excuse to use them
in your writing. Nobody is going to read a cliche and think "ah, the
writer is capturing the way people really talk." They’ll think "geez,
what a lousy writer. He doesn’t have the talent to write interesting
dialogue."

The commentor also said:

I guess what I’m trying to state is that this appears to be a situation where you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

When it comes to cliches, nobody is going to criticise you for NOT using them.

She Really, Really Cared

Tari Akpodiete pointed me to this posting on BoingBoing:

SF writer Lynda Williams sez, "My daughter (18) cared SO much about the ending of the Animorph series ‘selling out’ the readers that loved it with a nasty ending, that she has taken a whole year off school (sigh! be careful what you model!) to write an alternative ending as good as the books ever were! And she did it despite knowing it had to be considered fan fic and couldn’t be a way to start a writing career — just because she really, really
cared."

She took a year off school to write fanfic? Good God, how stupid.

I’m sure some of you will say that I’m being a jerk, that the girl took a year off to hone her writing skills and complete a novel.

And to you, I say, it’s fanfic.  I can see how you might write a short piece of fanfic for yourself  (ie not posted on the Internet or distributed to others) as a writing exercise. That could be useful and instructive. But spending a year toiling on a fanfic novel? That’s just pathetic.  It’s one step removed from becoming a Jareo.

It’s shame her mother, a professional writer,  couldn’t have given her daughter better guidance instead of encouraging her in this masturbatory and pointless pursuit (and, worse, being proud of it). 

Williams could have taught her daughter something about intellectual property, copyright and the importance of respecting the creative rights of other authors. It doesn’t say whether the work was posted on the Internet…but I hope it wasn’t. But if it was, I hope that Williams didn’t congratulate her daughter on that, too.

Williams could have encouraged her daughter to channel her passion for "Animorphs,"  and the way she felt the story should be told, by creating an entirely original work of her own that perhaps embodied the same ideals and explored the same themes. That would have been a worthwhile, enriching, constructive use of her time, effort and passion.

Wouldn’t it have been great if Williams’ daughter took a year off and ended up with a finished novel of her own?  Now that would be something to be proud of. 

But an 18-year-old spending a year on fanfic?

I wouldn’t be proud of that. I’d be embarrassed. 

The Name of Noir is Marlowe

Duane Swierczynski pointed me to an excellent Mystery File article about author Dan J. Marlowe. Duane writes:

Marlowe’s life story has enough twists and turns for at least three or
four Gold Medal novels. Marlowe was widowed at a young age, became
close buddies with one of the most notorious bank robbers of the 1960s,
and later in his career, suffered a stroke that wiped away his
memory–but not his writing ability. Somehow, through all of this, he
wrote some extremely fine hardboiled novels, the best being his first
two Earl Drake books:  THE NAME OF THE GAME  IS DEATH and ONE ENDLESS HOUR. 

Duane is a right — those are two great books. But if you read NAME OF THE GAME IS DEATH, and you must, be sure to get the first version, not the subsequent rewrite where some of Earl Drake’s very, very rough edges were smoothed out so he could become (following ONE ENDLESS HOUR)  the improbable hero of a series of secret agent novels.

Man Titty

Deathunsung_1
The hilarious Smart Bitches Who Love Trashy Novels are at it again, reviewing some terrible book covers:

Sarah: It is a moderately-known fact that I had a breast
reduction 11 years ago. 7+ lbs. of tissue were removed. I think he
received in transplant what I had taken out.

Now, do you need inflated man-titty to be a demon hunter? Perhaps if I’d kept my old boobs, I’d be a demon hunter now.

Candy: If I were him, I’d be so worried about scratching my
chest with those talons on my hands. I mean, what if I puncture
something? It’s hard to be appropriately terrifying when there’s a jet
of saline squirting out of one’s (rapidly deflating) chestal region.

Psyched up

The premiere of the new USA Network series PSYCH is the highest-rated opening episode of any new basic cable series this year. Bill Rabkin & I wrote an episode for PSYCH that will be airing later this summer.

In all, 6.1 million total viewers tuned in,
scoring USA’s best numbers since the two-hour "The 4400" debut
harvested 7.4 million viewers in July 2004.

The news wasn’t so good for MONK, which kicked off with strong ratings but they were the lowest season debut numbers since it’s first season. One reason for the dip could be MONK’s new timeslot — the series was shifted an hour earlier to accomodate PSYCH. Bill and I have also written an episode of MONK, which airs July 28th.

The Lion’s Share

There’s an article in today’s Los Angeles Times talking
about how Lions Gate Television, my former employer on MISSING, manages to make
a profit on their cable television shows.

But by employing financing formulas it has used to make and distribute
such profitable, low-budget movies as "Madea’s Family Reunion" and the
"Saw" horror franchise, Lions Gate not only covered its costs on
"Weeds" but also cleared what industry analysts estimate was about
$100,000 per episode of pure profit.

[…]By cobbling together money from license fees, income from international
sales, state and local tax rebates and subsidies, Lions Gate has at
least broken even from day one on all nine of its shows — a rarity in a
business where most network shows begin in the red.

It’s interesting stuff. The TV
division is run by the impossibily energetic Kevin Beggs, easily one of the
brightest, friendliest, and most creatively supportive execs I’ve ever worked with. It’s nice to see him
getting the recognition he deserves.

Mystery Gumbo

F04512bb9da097b84560c010l
Last night, my local chapter of the Mystery Writers of America had a summer party at author Bill Fitzhugh’s house in the valley. We all sat outdoors in the warm night air under big, shady trees and strings of Christmas lights. Bill made three different kinds of gumbo and an array of tasty shrimp and crab appetizers, proving that if things ever cool down for him in publishing and radio, he can always open a restaurant.

I caught up with lots of folks, including authors Denise Hamilton, James Lincoln Warren, Diane Pugh, Gary Phillips, Theresa Schwegel, and Christa Faust, who told me all about her novelization of SNAKES ON A PLANE.149435218_665888794f
Christa once wrote a 95,000 word FRIDAY THE 13th original tie-in novel in six weeks, and without ending up in the I.C.U., which I find pretty darn amazing. She has a tattoo of a vintage typewriter on her belly. I didn’t see it there, but she told us about it, and I found a picture of it later on her website.  Christa told me some horror stories about  the brutal deadlines and low pay in the tie-in biz…then again, she loves telling horror stories of all kinds. She wore a dress covered with skulls that fascinated the kids at the party.

Denise Hamilton and I talked a lot about conventions — she’s already looking forward to Bouchercon 2007 in Anchorage.  We also talked a lot about dogs. We mystery writers are an exciting bunch. Denise and I are getting together in September "in conversation" for a Sisters-in-Crime event. I promise that that conversation will be more thrilling, suspenseful and erotic. She’s hard at work on a new stand-alone novel that’s due soon.

The lovely and charming Theresa Schwegel insists that winning the Edgar hasn’t changed her, but I don’t recall her insisting that people kiss her hand and refer to her as "your highness" before the award. I didn’t mind. I don’t think she has a typewriter on her belly.

As the night went on, I told the story about my broken arms once and the story about the Naked Bookseller twice. If I am going to keep going to these author gatherings, I am going to need some fresh material. We left around 9 pm when my daughter started to nod off…she had a full day of swimming, swimming, tae kwon do testing, swimming and swimming.

Bill gave everyone generous "To Go" bags full of gumbo and rice on the way out, so my lunch today isn’t going to include another trip to The Habit where, oddly enough, I bump into Bill every so often.

It was  a great party. I hope Bill does it again next year.

UPDATE 7-11-06: Christa blogs about the party.

Thrilling Video

The ITW has put together a four-minute video, shot and edited by David Hewson at the convention, and posted it on YouTube. The video features short interviews Lee Child,
Zoe Sharpe, David Morrell, Steve Berry,  Gayle Lynds and Heather Graham

among other. Don’t blink or you’ll miss the shot of me signing books with Erica Spindler at the start of the video.