Last week, I had my first acting role in a half-hour comedy. I got to play…
Lee Goldberg.
That’s right, I had to play me. A complex, compelling character with lots of quirky levels.
The role was part of a TV Land pilot called TV KITSCHEN, starring Martin Mull and Fred Willard. It’s a scripted talkshow (ala FERNWOOD TONIGHT) about TV culture. The pilot was written by Tom Hill and directed by Ted Lange, the bartender from THE LOVE BOAT. I was invited as a “Television Expert” to introduce clips from busted pilots which, if TV KITSCHEN goes, would be a regular feature of the show.
I’ve been on TV before as a guest — talking about my books, or pilots, or whatever series I’m doing — and I’m usually very relaxed and comfortable on camera. But this was the first time I had to learn lines and “act” natural… and do it opposite two comedy legends who like to improvise.
I was probably awful but it was exciting and I had a great time. And Ted Lange told me I’m a natural. Did I mention he was on THE LOVE BOAT? Every actor in television was on that show at one time or another. If Ted doesn’t know raw acting talent when he sees it, who does?
So after much thought, I’ve decided that if Pierce Brosnan really is stepping down as Bond, I’d like to throw my name in for consideration.
Goldberg. Lee Goldberg.
Hey, we’ve had a Scottish, Australian, English, Welsh, and Irish Bond. Time for an American Bond. Then we can go for Canadian, Kiwi, and South African before Jason Connery’s son takes over the role in a remake of DR. NO.
[No, I don’t sit up all night thinking of this stuff. I have a day job that gives me 8 hours to do that.]
No, we had an American Bond already (“Jimmy Bond”), Barry Nelson, on TV in the 50s. We don’t need to go there again! Heh…
Lee, hasn’t TV Land been running those TV Kitschen spots for few years now, with Mull and Willard introducing old shows from the 70s and 80s? Or is this a pilot for an actual half hour show?
“The Best TV Shows That Never Were” was fantastic, by the way. I’d love to see it as a regular thing, either as a regular special like those game show moments specials with Eubanks or as part of TV Kitschen. That would be fun.
I think my favorite was the guy whose brain merged with the satellite (?) and he could talk to his dog…and his dog was also a cellphone! Hilarious. I hurt myself laughing.
The strange part though, is that I think I’d watch “Annihilator” or “Bunco” or some of the other failed programs over many of the shows on the air today…heh.
Oh, sorry, it was a microchip, not a satellite. That was the other show.
If Larry David could do it….so can you..a writer turned actor.
Of course it would have to be a spin off with you travelling back into the time
of TV’s most unwanted….and fixing what didn’t
work.
With your dry wit it can only be a hit! 🙂
They are thinking of expanding TV KITSCHEN to a half-hour scripted “talk-show.” I’m looking forward to seeing the pilot… I just hope it doesn’t end up in future editions of “The Best TV Shows That Never Were!”
Please Lee, I hope you don’t end up in any episode of bionic body parts.
I would imagine you would have to be quick on your feet acting opposite those two.