I received this email this morning. I have removed the author’s last name to spare him embarrassment.
My name is Sean L.
I discovered you through J.A. Konrath’s blog.
Basically, I’m just getting into the world of self-publishing. I’ve recently published my first ebook through the Kindle and I’m looking for ways to get my name out there to the masses.
If you’re interested in helping me, I have a few ideas.
Thank you for your time!
Here is the reply that I just sent him:
I am so glad that you have some ideas to help me get your name out there to the masses, because I am stumped.
I set everything aside that I was doing this morning, including writing my book that’s due on Nov. 1 and my efforts to publicize Amazon/47North’s launch of the “Dead Man” series this week, to put some serious thought into how to make you a success, and my mind was just a blank. Maybe that’s because you’re a complete stranger to me, but that’s no excuse for my lack of inspiration.
This is so incredibly frustrating for me since I know how important reaching the masses is for you. But rest assured, I will be devoting the day, if not the entire month, perhaps even the remaining days of my life, to this important task, so please forward to me as soon as humanly possible your ideas on how I can best promote you.
He may be clueless, but at least he has a sense of humor.