Whenever a new MONK book comes out, I get swamped with lots of mail from fans. Most of it is very kind and I love to get it. But I also get some like these:
i love your books and really want to read them, but my libary's stock of your books are out. any ideas? But if you want to be really nice, you would mail a hardcover copy of your latest book to:
XYZ
Edison, NJ 08817
Here's another:
Mr. Goldberg – I am a Monk fan and I love your books. However, you really go too far sometimes with his idiosyncracies. With the pestilence and world destruction when he sees a crack in the sidewalk type of thing. It's really far above and beyond his behavior on screen, and makes for a bad read. I usually have to skip over all those areas, and I find those silly discussions clutter the books and detract from the reading experience. Otherwise, the books are very entertaining.
And another:
My mother loves your books and gets them from the library all the time. I told her I knew you so please send her a signed copy by March 1 because that is her birthday. Here is her address: XYZ Sign it with your full name and say something clever (You can come up with that on your own). I would like to meet you some day because you are so funny.
Thank you for sharing your inspiring and uplifting mail. It is a true blessing because it removes the illusion of exclusivity from which I occasionally suffer Be glad you don’t write true crime/non-fiction. A recent letter regarding the non-fiction MOM SAID KILL (adapted as Blood Lines on ID’s DEADLY WOMEN)complained “…there is no mystery here at all. You told us who did it at the beginning. You don’t know how to write a mystery.”
My favorite is this from someone upset at the horrific details in MURDER IN THE FAMILY: “If you want me to buy any more of your books, find a murder that isn’t so unpleasant.”
I love the third one. say something clever (You can come up with that on your own). Absolutely priceless!
Dear Mr Goldberg:
I love your books. And even though I won a Kindle fire from you and Konrath, et. al, my mother doesn’t have one.
Please email me for her address.
Kind regards,
That the point where some of people like those writer who can overcome hearts of readers.some are always wait when will be published his writer books.it’s a great expectation for a writer to the fan.
Yes, these letters are funny.
It’s our supporters that keep us going and the fools who keep us growing, because only a fool would tell the truth and take the risk of bringing anger down upon him or her.
I recall a TV interview with Jenifer Aniston when the movie “Rock Star” came out. The interviewer asked her one personal question after another. Finally, in a kind voice she said, “Do you want to talk about ‘Rock Star’?” And the guy said no. So she then started coming prepared to talk about herself and the press loved her more and more as did the audience. I guess she just went with what worked even though it was anything but what she thought it should be. It was a somewhat foolish interviewer that showed her the path to success, for her.
One email I received recently requested that I adapt the authors’ “brilliant” short story into a screenplay…and that I was “expected” to deliver said screenplay within two years.
I thought that time-frame was very generous. Without the extra allocation of time, I might not have been able to help him turn his “brilliant” story into the next…I don’t know, what: IN TIME? WE BOUGHT A ZOO? THIS MEANS WAR?
Always happy to help a fan write his or her next blockbuster.
(Now I’ll probably get emails from people taking me up on my “offer” to help them write a story, screenplay, novel, letter to their boss, etc. :sigh: )
I became a huge Monk fan because of your Monk books! I love the humor, the mystery, and most of all I love all the characters in the Monk world.
I would love to see the adventures of Artemis Monk