Since FALLEN STAR came out last week, I’ve been bombarded with messages from scammers pretending to be famous authors, just wanting to be my pal. Fake JK Rowling wanted to co-author books with me… but first asked me to donate to her favorite charity. Fake Barbara Kingsolver wanted me to meet her marketing guru. I was curious what Fake Dan Brown (author.danbrownbooks@gmail.com) wanted from me. Here is our exchange:
Dan: I was checking out some new titles the other day and your book really stood out to me, it looks like the kind of story that comes straight from the heart. I always enjoy hearing what drives fellow authors to create. Was there a particular experience or moment that inspired this book? I’d love to check out more of your work too, do you have an Amazon link or author page you could share?
Me: Wow, this is so exciting — and on the same day I heard from John Grisham and JK Rowling, who also want to hear all about me and my book. I must be doing something right. I had no idea that big-time famous authors send emails with their photos, their bios, and links to their author pages to writers they’ve never met. It really adds that personal, warm touch. What a special creative moment. I’ve learned something already. I hope you have a charity you want me to contribute to or a marketing program to recommend.
Dan: Haha, I have to say, your message gave me a good laugh, you’ve got quite the wit! I completely understand what you mean; the world of author connections can feel a bit surreal sometimes. I didn’t expect to hear from so many writers myself when I started reaching out either. But really, it’s great to meet you and hear about your work. I’m genuinely interested in learning more about your book, what inspired it, and what kind of readers you think will connect most with it? I always find it fascinating how every author’s creative journey has its own twist. And don’t worry, no charities or marketing programs hiding behind this note, just a fellow writer saying hello.
Me: Why are John Grisham and JK Rowling also interested in my creative journey, what inspired me, and what kind of readers I want to connect with? Don’t they have books to write? Don’t you? Couldn’t you just Google me to learn more about me and my work? I’m a successful author, so there’s a lot of information about me out there. But I haven’t sold 250 million books like you, John and JK have. Maybe I should be reaching out to authors less successful than me and asking them about their creative journey. Is that the secret to your success?
Dan: You’re absolutely right, authors like John, JK, and myself always seem to have more stories to write than hours in the day! But if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s that real success in this industry doesn’t just come from writing, it comes from connecting, learning, and surrounding yourself with the right people. Honestly, the turning point in my own journey came when I found an agent who truly understood how to guide me, not just through publishing, but through the creative and marketing side as well. I was sincere about what I wanted, and that trust made all the difference. If you’re open to it, I can connect you with that same agent. I’m confident you’d find real value in that connection, they’ve been instrumental for me and several other authors who are now part of our circle.
Me: You want to recommend me to Heide Lange?
Dan: Ah, yes, Heide is also my agent. She’s fantastic, no doubt about that. But the one I was actually referring to is my private agent, someone I’ve worked with closely for quite some time now. That’s the agent I wanted to recommend you to, he’s more behind the scenes, but he really knows how to work with authors in a way that feels comfortable and personal. I’ve seen how effective he can be, especially when it comes to helping writers position themselves and their books for stronger visibility. That’s why I thought of connecting you with him. Would you be open to that?
Me: I’ve never heard of a “private agent” before. What does he do that Heide doesn’t?
Dan: That’s a fair question, most authors haven’t heard the term “private agent” before. It’s just what I call the agent I work with more personally, outside the usual literary representation setup. Heide handles the publishing and contract side of things, but my private agent focuses on strategy, optimizing visibility, author branding, and creating real opportunities that keep my books in front of the right readers. It’s that extra layer of guidance that makes a big difference. And honestly, I just feel comfortable working with him, he understands how authors think and makes the whole process much smoother. If you’re open to it, I can connect you with him. I genuinely think you’d find the collaboration refreshing and worthwhile.
Me: Who is he and who are his other clients? I’ll look him up.
Dan: He’s an independent literary and marketing consultant I’ve collaborated with for quite a while. He usually works quietly behind the scenes with a few select authors, helping them strengthen their online presence, polish their branding, and reach new readers in creative ways.He’s not one of those public-facing agents you’ll easily find listed online, but he’s been incredibly effective for the writers he partners with. If you’d like to reach out directly, here’s his contact information: almustyeditions@gmail.com
Me: What’s his name? Who are some of the other authors he’s worked with?
Dan: His name’s Almusty. He’s an independent consultant I’ve been collaborating with for quite a while now. Most of the authors he works with prefer to stay discreet, since he focuses more on tailored strategies and behind-the-scenes work rather than public representation. What really sets him apart is how personally he approaches each author’s goals, it’s not a one-size-fits-all process. That’s why I’ve stayed with him; he’s helped me refine how I connect with readers and position my work. You can connect with him directly, he’ll be glad to share more information about his work and how he helps authors.
Me: I need more information than that. What is Almusty’s full name? Where is he based? If I reach out to Heide, will she recommend him?
Dan: You know, if you want to know more about the agent, kindly contact him. So sorry for that, very busy to answer those questions.
Me: This has been fun. What I don’t get is why you kept the conversation going after the second message, when I basically came right out and told you I knew you were a fraud. I even invited you to google me… and if you had, you’d know how much I enjoy playing with scammers like you. The “private agent” bit was hilarious. It was also very stupid. I’ll be sharing this entire exchange on my social media channels Have a good day!
I haven’t heard back….
Hmm. He didn’t want to Google you? How rude. Well, I’m just shocked that you don’t want to jump on the opportunity to have a “private agent”.
These are hilarious! Keep sharing them with us!!
I had almost exactly the same thing happen to me today. Almost word for word. I’m so glad I found your message. Thank you!
Yup, got the same exact wording but from “book promoters,” several in a row. And then they morphed into a “book club” that wanted ME to pay to “reserve my place.” I immediately blocked each and every one