Here’s my email exchange with a Second Fake Suzanne Collins (suzannecollins113@gmail.com) . I started by using my reply to Fake Taylor Jenkins-Reid… and the conversation reached a surprising conclusion.
FAKE SUZANNE: Hi, I’m Suzanne Collins. Most of my days are spent shaping ideas that refuse to stay quiet stories about struggle, survival, and the choices we make when everything’s on the line. Some tales arrive fully formed, others take time to fight their way to the surface. Writing can feel solitary, but it’s also how I connect, how I make sense of the world around us. I’d love to hear about your own path what drives you, what keeps you creating when things get tough, and how you keep your imagination alive. There’s a lot we can learn from sharing those moments. Best, Suzanne
ME: Suzi, I told you before, my wife often reads my emails… and she’s not going to be fooled by this. At least this time you didn’t attach photos! When you made that pass at me at Harlan’s party, I thought it was because you were drunk. I didn’t realize how serious you were. You are a very attractive, talented woman… but I am a happily married man. We have a great time together at conferences and book festivals, but it can’t go beyond friendship and mutual respect. I hope you will understand.
FS: Hi Lee, I understand, and I’m sorry if my message gave the wrong impression that truly wasn’t my intention. I only wanted to reach out to discuss writing and creative work, nothing more. I’ve always appreciated your insights and thought it would be great to share ideas about our craft. Wishing you and your family all the best. Warm regards, Suzanne
ME: C’mon, Suzi. We both know that isn’t true. We both know what you mean by “reaching out.” I need to know you understand what I am saying. I don’t want you making another pass at me at Bouchercon.
FS: I think there’s been a misunderstanding. The only reason I reached out was to talk about writing specifically, the challenges you’ve faced with your books and creative process. I value your experience and perspective as a fellow author, and that’s truly all this was about. I respect your boundaries completely and hope we can keep our interactions focused on our shared passion for storytelling. Best, Suzanne
ME: Stop playing games, and pretending your emails are being written by some soulless AI instead of a human being. There will be no “interactions focused on our shared passion.” Do I need to get a restraining order? I swear I will do it unless you drop the charade and give me a straight answer.
FS: I’m truly sorry this has turned into such a misunderstanding. I have no hidden motives, and I’m not pretending to be anyone else. I reached out simply because I admire your work and wanted to learn from your experiences as an author nothing more. Please don’t feel threatened or uncomfortable; that was never my intent. I respect your marriage, your boundaries, and your wishes. I’d never want to cause tension or make you feel uneasy. I hope this clears things up, and I sincerely wish you the best with your writing and upcoming projects. Warm regards, Suzanne
I decided to leave it at that…though I was tempted to say, “My wife just left for a week on business. Let’s talk dirty!”