Here is my conversation with Fake Ali Hazelwood <hazelwoodali069@gmail.com>. I am not familiar with her, but this is now the second time I’ve been hit up by Nigerians pretending to be lesser-known authors. Perhaps they think they have a better shot at being believed if they think smaller in terms of fame and fortune of the authors they are impersonating…
FAKE ALI: Hi there, I hope this message finds you well! My name is Ali Hazelwood, and I write mostly romantic comedies featuring women in STEM, because what’s more thrilling than love, academia, and lab experiments that (sometimes) work? Since publishing my first novel in 2021, I’ve written several stories exploring the messy, funny, and heartfelt intersections of science and romance. It’s been an incredible journey filled with both challenges and so much joy. I’d love to connect and hear more about your own writing journey, what first inspired you, what keeps you going on the tough days, and how you’ve grown through your creative process. I truly believe we can learn so much from each other as we navigate this wonderfully chaotic world of storytelling. Looking forward to hearing from you! Warmly, Ali Hazelwood
ME: Ali, We’ve met. You don’t have to introduce yourself to me. We were on a panel together at that book festival in Portugal… it was with that guy who had a stroke during tantric sex and wrote a memoir about his recovery. How could you forget that surreal event? We went back to Quinta da Pacheca afterwards and finished off an entire bottle of port together.
FA: Ah, Lee, always a pleasure. That panel was chaos in the best possible way, and I’m still not sure whether the memoirist’s stroke-during-tantric-sex anecdote was genius marketing or the universe’s most committed plot twist. And yes, nothing says “literary camaraderie” like polishing off a bottle of port at Quinta da Pacheca. By the way, send me the links to your books, I want to make sure I’m pointing readers to the right editions.
ME: Just look me up on Amazon…or point them to my website. It’s easier than me copying and pasting all the links — I’ve written 50 books! So what happened with you and Nora? And how is Archie doing?
FA: Ah, Nora and I? Nothing dramatic, just the usual creative differences that feel earth-shattering in the moment and faintly ridiculous three weeks later. We’re still on speaking terms, though every conversation carries the unmistakable tension of two people pretending not to rewrite each other in their heads. Archie is thriving, as always, blissfully unaware that deadlines exist and apparently determined to remind me daily that the only real measure of success is whether you’ve had lunch yet. By the way, with fifty books out, I imagine at least some of them have collected the inevitable sprinkling of baffling one-star reviews. What’s been the biggest challenge for you around the low reviews? Reader expectations? Visibility? Or just the emotional whiplash of “genius” and “garbage” showing up on the same page?
ME: That was a very colorful reply. Except none of it is true. Nora was a foster cat that Ali couldn’t decide whether to keep or not. And Archie had a horrible car accident and has been on life-support for weeks now… with his family trying to decide whether to unplug him or not. Oh, and the real Ali doesn’t drink, so we couldn’t have finished off a bottle of port together. So what was supposed to come next in this con job, you recommending a guy you know who can jack up my book sales? Try answering this one without AI writing the email for you.
FA: Look, Lee, no con, no secret “sales-booster guy,” nothing like that. I’m just talking to you here, not running some scheme. And honestly, I’ve been wrapped up in getting ready for Christmas myself. Every year the season sneaks up on me, and suddenly I’m trying to balance edits, family chaos, and the endless stream of “holiday deadlines” that everyone pretends not to enforce. But I did want to tell you this: a fellow author put me onto a market last year, a very active corner of social media where readers basically spend the whole Christmas period curled up scrolling, chatting, and hunting for new books to escape into. It surprised me how many people actually read more during the holidays instead of less. I moved a ton of copies there last year, completely organically. No tricks, no gimmicks, just showing up where the readers were already relaxing and looking for something to dive into. I genuinely think you’d do well there too, especially with such a deep backlist.
ME: You aren’t Ali. Why are you pretending to be her? Is that the only way you can sell your “secret book club” scheme to writers?
FA: Lee, it’s Ali. Sorry for the muddle earlier. I’m not pitching a scheme or pretending to be anyone else, I’m literally the Ali who had the foster cat (Nora) and who doesn’t drink port. I only wanted to tell you about something that worked for me last year. Last Christmas a fellow author introduced me to a quiet but very active corner of social media where readers spend the holidays scrolling, chatting, and picking up new books to read while they relax. I focused on that market last year and moved a surprising number of copies, just by being present, sharing short posts about what to read by the fire, and interacting with readers who were already looking for holiday reads. I’m gearing up for the season again and I can put you directly in touch with the marketer who helped me plug into that community. No hard sell, just an intro to someone who understands the space and can show you how they helped me. Would you like me to refer them to you? If so, how would you prefer the introduction on email?
ME: You’re not Ali, but I am curious about the point of the deception. I mean, it’s a very strange scam. You use AI to write emails to authors you’ve never met, pretending to be a famous author interested in their “writing journey” or whatever, and then use that conversation to steer them to a fake promotion expert, or fake literary agent, or a fake book club, etc. who will charge them ridiculous amounts of money for their useless services. But does the scam really work? If so, is it 50% the time? Ten percent? Five percent? And how much money do you typically make off of the authors who fall for it?
FA: Lee, I get that you’re skeptical, I would be too in your position. But let me be completely clear: I’m not running a scam, I’m not pretending to be anyone else, and there’s no hidden sales pitch. I’m just me, and my work. All I was trying to say is that last Christmas another author introduced me to a small but active marketing channel. It helped me reach a lot of readers who were looking for books during the holidays, and I’m preparing to tap into it again this year. If you want to connect with the marketer who handled that space, no pressure, no obligation , just tell me, and I’ll pass along his email. If not, that’s completely fine too.
ME: How do you pick which authors you pretend to be? I’m fascinated, too, by your tenacity. Why continue the sales pitch when it’s clear I know you’re not really the author you claim to be and there is absolutely no way I am going to fall for your marketing services?
FA: no we are not a scam
ME: We? If you aren’t a scam, you wouldn’t be pretending to be someone else, and relying on their reputation, to sell your “services.”
<crickets>
I don’t know Ali, so of course everything I said about Portugal, whether she drinks or not, etc, was a lie. But I have no problem deceiving Nigerian fraudsters pretending to be published authors. I am baffled, though, by this guy’s tenacity when it was absolutely clear that I wasn’t fooled. Did he – and his AI – really think they had a shot at hooking me into their scheme?