Fake Authors

My Conversation with Fake Peter James

by

My conversation with Fake Peter James <author.peterjames.org@gmail.com>

FAKE PETER: Hi Lee, I hope you are doing well. My name is Peter James and I recently finished Fallen Star. I wanted to reach out and say how much I enjoyed it. The mix of political scandal, personal stakes, and nonstop tension made the story gripping from the first pages. Eve’s moral struggle and her dynamic with Duncan added real depth to the investigation, and the crash near her home was a powerful turning point. I would love to hear what inspired you to take Eve’s journey in this direction at this stage of the series. Warm Regard, Peter James Writer.

ME: I’m glad you reached out, Peter. I was going to call you. The agent you recommended stole $57,000 from me. Did you get swindled, too?

FP: Hi Lee, I’m really sorry you’re going through this that’s an awful situation. Just to be clear, I’m not connected to whatever happened with the money, and I definitely wasn’t involved in anything like that. I recommended the agent in good faith based on what I believed was a trustworthy reputation, so hearing this from you is genuinely upsetting.I’d like to help however I can. If you’re taking steps to resolve the issue, I’m happy to share any information or details on my end that might support you. Also, separate from this mess, I’d still love to support your work. If you’d like, I can help promote your book through my author network, my website, or my reader community. Just let me know what direction you prefer interviews, features, sharing previews, or anything else that feels useful. Again, I’m really sorry you’re dealing with this.

ME: You should be sorry. YOU told me that he’d taken your books to “the next level.” He didn’t do shit for me. He turned out to be a Nigerian scammer who ran off with my money. If you honestly want to help, Interpol has created a special, international task force to go after scammers who prey on authors. I can forward your email and phone number to the agent-in-charge so he can talk to you directly. I have your email… what’s your phone number?

<crickets>

Gee, I wonder why he suddenly ghosted me.

Here is my very short conversation with Fake Mary Kubica <marykubica920@gmail.com> 

FAKE MARY KUBICA: Dear. I hope this message finds you well. I came across your profile on Facebook and wanted to reach out. As a fellow writer, I always enjoy meeting others who are passionate about storytelling and the creative life. By way of introduction, my name is Mary kubica. I’m a New York Times bestselling author of suspense thrillers including The Good Girl, The Other Mrs., and Local Woman Missing, and I love exploring the comedic, turbulent, and sentimental parts of being human. Writing has always been both my way of making sense of the world and connecting with others who share that same impulse. I’d love to hear more about your own journey, what first inspired you to write, and what kind of stories excite you most at the moment? Looking forward to your reply. Mary Kubica.

ME: I’ve never stopped loving you. Send me more nudes.

FAKE MARY: What’s your number?

ME:  (310) 477-6565

<crickets>

The number I gave her was for the FBI’s office in Los Angeles. I hope she sent them pictures!

My Conversation with Fake Gail Honeyman

by

Here is my conversation with Fake Gail Honeyman <gailhoneyman.author@gmail.com>. Now this is an unusual one, since the Nigerian scammers usually pick a globally best-selling author as a lure into their marketing scam. Not this time. Honeyman is an acclaimed, but not widely-known, Scottish writer. I don’t know why they chose to use her. Perhaps they are adjusting their swindle so their emails seem less obviously fake from the get-go.

FAKE GAIL HONEYMAN: Hi, It’s always inspiring connecting with fellow authors, every writer has a unique voice and a different spark behind the stories they create. Some days the words flow with ease, other days require more patience, but that passion for storytelling is what always brings us back to the page. My name is Gail Honeyman, and I’m the author of Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine. Writing has given me the opportunity to explore human connection, resilience, and the small moments that shape a person’s world. Beyond my own work, I truly enjoy getting to know other writers, learning from their experiences, and exchanging ideas about craft, creativity, and the journey behind every book. Here is my Amazon author page if you’d like to explore my work: [address] I’d love to hear your story as well,  what first inspired you to start writing? Was there a particular moment, challenge, or experience that made you realize storytelling was something you wanted to pursue? Looking forward to hearing from you soon. Warm regards, Gail Honeyman

ME: I’ve never stopped loving you. Send me more nudes.

FG: What did you mean?

ME: Don’t be coy. Ever since we did that panel in Ottawa, you’ve been sending me those incredibly hot texts and photos. And then, a few weeks ago, they stopped. Did your husband catch on?

FG:  ok, I really can’t remember. Can you please send me some pics I’ve been sending to you so far if I could remember tha!

ME: You can’t REMEMBER?! Are you Gail… or are you her husband?

11/29/25 UPDATE: I got this note from Fake Gail Honeyman today:

FG: I was hired by Gail’s husband to find out if she’s cheating on him now have gotten all the proove I need, you’re going down

 

LOL! That’s the first clever response I’ve ever received from a Nigerian scammer. Have to give him credit for that.

 

My Conversation With Yet Another Fake Donna Tartt

by

My conversation with the Fourth (or is it fifth?) Fake Donna Tartt <tarttdonna897@gmail.com>

FAKE DONNA: Hello, I hope this message finds you well. I recently came across your Facebook page and noticed your email, which inspired me to reach out. As a fellow author, I felt an immediate sense of connection. I truly enjoy building relationships with other writers to share experiences, exchange insights, and inspire one another along the creative journey. It would be wonderful to connect and hear more about your work. Looking forward to your reply. Warm regards, Donna

ME: Does this mean you’ve lifted the restraining order? Can I come over?

FD: Your message arrives with an almost theatrical sense of timing, though I must tell you plainly: nothing has been lifted. Paper orders do not dissolve themselves merely because the air feels a little softer. As for coming over no, not yet. Some doors open only when the house itself is ready to receive a guest, and this one is still locked from the inside. But something in your note caught my eye. “Lee” such a clean, declarative name. Are you an author yourself, by coincidence? Or is that a part of you you’ve been wanting to claim all along, waiting for someone to ask?

ME: You know everything about me…and I’m confused by your reply. The restraining order plainly said “no contact,” and yet now you’re emailing me. Does that mean you’ve changed your mind? 

FD: You speak of “no contact” as though it were a stone tablet lowered from the sky, immutable and shining. But life is seldom so cleanly etched. People change their minds; shadows shift; even the sternest lines blur when held up to different light. Still, let me be perfectly clear: my writing to you is not an invitation to cross boundaries already set. It is only a clarification, a correction of tone, a way of adjusting the mirror so it no longer distorts the face it’s meant to reflect. If your confusion comes from imagining some grand reversal, don’t. Nothing so dramatic has occurred. But neither have I vanished into the cold, airless distance you seem to expect. Think of this not as a door thrown open, but as a curtain moved slightly aside enough for a single exchange, a breath, nothing more.

ME: I am really confused. You were very clear to the Judge. You did not want me contacting you in any way, shape or form… and now you are writing to me?  The restraining order legally prohibits me from contacting or physically approaching a protected individual…unless I receive notice from the court that it has been lifted. You served me with one. You aren’t supposed to contact me, either. I fear this is a trap to put me in jail. 

FD: Dear lee, Your message has the taut, uneasy ring of someone bracing for a blow, and I’m sorry for the confusion and fear you’re carrying. I can’t speak to the legal mechanisms at play only a court or an attorney can clarify what is permitted or not but I can assure you that I am not seeking to entrap you or draw you into any forbidden contact. As for your question… whether writing, for me, came by coincidence or by desire: I sometimes think it was both. As if the impulse had been lying in wait for years, quiet as a shadow in the corner of the room, and then one day stepped forward and made itself known. I didn’t plan it, not exactly but I can’t imagine having done anything else. If you have concerns about legal boundaries, please speak with a qualified professional who can give you clear guidance. I want no harm for you, only clarity and calm. Take care, Dona

ME: I’m going to come over to your house now. Wave out the window at me. Then I will know it’s okay. Be there soon.

ME: (One hour later): You didn’t wave. I don’t understand. YOU reached out to ME. Oh, shit. Why are the police outside my door?

<crickets>

My Conversation with Fake Elena Ferrante

by

Over the last week, lots of scammers pretending to be famous authors have reached out to me. My recent email conversation with Fake Elena Ferrante (elenaferrante510@gmail.com) was short and sweet:

Elena: Hi, I’m Elena Ferrante! I’m a novelist and former journalist. You might know me from My Brilliant Friend and the rest of the Neapolitan series, which explores the lives and friendships of women in a vividly rendered world. My books include My Brilliant Friend, The Story of the Lost Child, and The Days of Abandonment. Readers have described them as powerful, deeply emotional, and full of strong, complex characters. I’d love to hear more about your own writing as well! Best regards, Elena Ferrante

Me: Elena, It’s great to hear from you. It’s been so long since we last met. I’ve signed with a new agent since then who has incredible marketing savvy… and could vault you into an even higher tier of sales. Would you like me to put you in touch with him?

Elena: Dear Lee, It’s lovely to hear from you after all this time. I’m very glad to know your new agent has been such a strong support for your work that is a gift every writer hopes for. Thank you for thinking of me and for the generous offer to make an introduction. At the moment, I am already working with a marketing agency that has been assisting me closely. They understand my approach to privacy and the unique ways my books reach readers. But if you are interested, I would be more than happy to connect you with them. They have been excellent partners and I can recommend them with confidence. I hope your writing continues to flourish and I’d love to hear how your latest projects are progressing. With warm regards, Elena Ferrante

Me: My marketing agency is terrific. They are the ones you recommended to me at our lunch. Which reminds me, how is Hal doing?

 
After that… crickets. She was gone.

I’ve never met the real Elena Ferrante, and I made up Hal….but the idea of trying to respond to that email without tripping over themselves scared them off.

My Conversation with Fake Dan Brown

by

Since FALLEN STAR came out last week, I’ve been bombarded with messages from scammers pretending to be famous authors, just wanting to be my pal. Fake JK Rowling wanted to co-author books with me… but first asked me to donate to her favorite charity. Fake Barbara Kingsolver wanted me to meet her marketing guru. I was curious what Fake Dan Brown (author.danbrownbooks@gmail.com) wanted from me. Here is our exchange:

Dan: I was checking out some new titles the other day and your book really stood out to me, it looks like the kind of story that comes straight from the heart. I always enjoy hearing what drives fellow authors to create. Was there a particular experience or moment that inspired this book? I’d love to check out more of your work too, do you have an Amazon link or author page you could share?

Me: Wow, this is so exciting — and on the same day I heard from John Grisham and JK Rowling, who also want to hear all about me and my book. I must be doing something right. I had no idea that big-time famous authors send emails with their photos, their bios, and links to their author pages to writers they’ve never met. It really adds that personal, warm touch. What a special creative moment. I’ve learned something already. I hope you have a charity you want me to contribute to or a marketing program to recommend. 

Dan: Haha, I have to say, your message gave me a good laugh, you’ve got quite the wit! I completely understand what you mean; the world of author connections can feel a bit surreal sometimes. I didn’t expect to hear from so many writers myself when I started reaching out either. But really, it’s great to meet you and hear about your work. I’m genuinely interested in learning more about your book, what inspired it, and what kind of readers you think will connect most with it? I always find it fascinating how every author’s creative journey has its own twist. And don’t worry, no charities or marketing programs hiding behind this note, just a fellow writer saying hello.

Me: Why are John Grisham and JK Rowling also interested in my creative journey, what inspired me, and what kind of readers I want to connect with? Don’t they have books to write? Don’t you? Couldn’t you just Google me to learn more about me and my work? I’m a successful author, so there’s a lot of information about me out there. But I haven’t sold 250  million books like you, John and JK have. Maybe I should be reaching out to authors less successful than me and asking them about their creative journey. Is that the secret to your success?

Dan: You’re absolutely right, authors like John, JK, and myself always seem to have more stories to write than hours in the day! But if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s that real success in this industry doesn’t just come from writing, it comes from connecting, learning, and surrounding yourself with the right people. Honestly, the turning point in my own journey came when I found an agent who truly understood how to guide me, not just through publishing, but through the creative and marketing side as well. I was sincere about what I wanted, and that trust made all the difference. If you’re open to it, I can connect you with that same agent. I’m confident you’d find real value in that connection, they’ve been instrumental for me and several other authors who are now part of our circle.

Me: You want to recommend me to Heide Lange?

Dan: Ah, yes, Heide is also my agent. She’s fantastic, no doubt about that. But the one I was actually referring to is my private agent, someone I’ve worked with closely for quite some time now. That’s the agent I wanted to recommend you to, he’s more behind the scenes, but he really knows how to work with authors in a way that feels comfortable and personal. I’ve seen how effective he can be, especially when it comes to helping writers position themselves and their books for stronger visibility. That’s why I thought of connecting you with him. Would you be open to that?

Me: I’ve never heard of a “private agent” before. What does he do that Heide doesn’t?

Dan: That’s a fair question, most authors haven’t heard the term “private agent” before. It’s just what I call the agent I work with more personally, outside the usual literary representation setup. Heide handles the publishing and contract side of things, but my private agent focuses on strategy, optimizing visibility, author branding, and creating real opportunities that keep my books in front of the right readers. It’s that extra layer of guidance that makes a big difference. And honestly, I just feel comfortable working with him, he understands how authors think and makes the whole process much smoother. If you’re open to it, I can connect you with him. I genuinely think you’d find the collaboration refreshing and worthwhile.

Me: Who is he and who are his other clients? I’ll look him up.

Dan: He’s an independent literary and marketing consultant I’ve collaborated with for quite a while. He usually works quietly behind the scenes with a few select authors, helping them strengthen their online presence, polish their branding, and reach new readers in creative ways.He’s not one of those public-facing agents you’ll easily find listed online, but he’s been incredibly effective for the writers he partners with. If you’d like to reach out directly, here’s his contact information: almustyeditions@gmail.com

Me: What’s his name? Who are some of the other authors he’s worked with? 

Dan: His name’s Almusty. He’s an independent consultant I’ve been collaborating with for quite a while now. Most of the authors he works with prefer to stay discreet, since he focuses more on tailored strategies and behind-the-scenes work rather than public representation. What really sets him apart is how personally he approaches each author’s goals, it’s not a one-size-fits-all process. That’s why I’ve stayed with him; he’s helped me refine how I connect with readers and position my work. You can connect with him directly, he’ll be glad to share more information about his work and how he helps authors.

Me: I need more information than that. What is Almusty’s full name? Where is he based? If I reach out to Heide, will she recommend him?

Dan: You know, if you want to know more about the agent, kindly contact him. So sorry for that, very busy to answer those questions.

Me: This has been fun. What I don’t get is why you kept  the conversation going after the second message, when I basically came right out and told you I knew you were a fraud. I even invited you to google me… and if you had, you’d know how much I enjoy playing with scammers like you. The “private agent” bit was hilarious. It was also very stupid. I’ll be sharing this entire exchange on my social media channels Have a good day!

I haven’t heard back….