scams

My Conversation with Fake Kristin Hannah

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My conversation with Fake Kristin Hannah (contact.authorkristinhannah@gmail.com) took a very surprising turn towards the end… so stick with it.

FAKE KRISTIN: Hello Lee, I hope you’re having a good day. I wanted to write to you personally and without any expectations attached. I’m Kristin Hannah, and your work recently found its way into a few conversations among friends of mine, writers and long-time readers who are thoughtful about what they choose to spend time with. Your book came up not because of numbers or visibility, but because something in the writing stayed with them. Every so often, we gather informally to read books by fellow authors whose work feels sincere and still in the process of finding its wider audience. It’s a small, unstructured circle, no promotion, no reviews required, and no follow-ups expected. Just careful reading, conversation, and appreciation for the craft itself. If you ever feel inclined, you’re welcome to share a link to whichever book you’d most like to read. And if now isn’t the right time, that’s perfectly fine as well. This note is simply meant as encouragement, nothing more. Thank you for continuing to do the quiet, difficult work of writing. It matters more than most people realise. Warm regards, Kristin Hannah

ME: “Dinosaur’s Embrace” is a book I’m eager to read:

https://www.amazon.com/Dinosaurs-Embrace-Forbidden-Romance/dp/B0CFCPWL9K

FAKE KRISTIN: Thank you for sharing the link, I appreciate you pointing me toward The “Dinosaur’s Embrace.” I’ve taken time to read through the description carefully, and I want to say first that the premise is certainly bold and imaginative. It’s clear you leaned into risk and originality, which isn’t easy to do as a writer. The emotional throughline, connection, longing, and the idea of love existing outside accepted boundaries, comes through strongly, and that kind of creative courage always deserves respect.

That said, it did leave me wondering about something, and I hope you don’t mind the candor. You’ve clearly put effort into the concept and presentation, yet it seems the book may not be reaching the full audience it could, based on visibility, sales, and reader engagement so far. From your perspective as the author, what do you feel has been the biggest challenge, discoverability, positioning, reader expectations, or something else entirely? I’d also genuinely love to hear what inspired you to write this story in the first place. What sparked the idea, and what were you hoping readers would feel or reflect on when they finished it?

I ask purely out of curiosity and respect for the process. Every book has its own journey, and understanding the motivations and obstacles behind it is often just as interesting as the finished work itself. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts whenever you have the time.

ME: What inspired me is that I’ve always wanted to see a woman have sex with a dinosaur… so I decided to monetize my fantasy. I imagine I am not alone. Have you ever had similar fantasies?

FAKE KRISTIN: I wanted to briefly follow up on one point I raised earlier, in case it was overlooked. From a publishing standpoint, I’m curious about your own assessment of the book’s reception so far. You’ve clearly invested creativity and intention into the concept, yet it appears the book hasn’t reached the level of visibility or reader engagement it potentially could. From your perspective, what do you feel has been the primary challenge, discoverability, positioning within its niche, managing reader expectations, or something else entirely? Understanding how authors interpret their own market response is always insightful, and I’m genuinely interested in how you’re viewing that aspect of the journey.

ME: I think what would really help the novel reach a wider audience is if you gave me a blurb and shared it across your social media channels. I need to mainstream the concept of human/dinosaur sex so it doesn’t come across as aberrant or objectionable, but as a reasonable romantic avenue in popular literature. Your endorsement would be a big help. Or, if you like, you could co-author the sequel with me. The working title is “The Night I Met Tyrannosaurus-Sex.” What do you think? 

FAKE KRISTIN: I want to be clear and straightforward. I won’t be providing a blurb, endorsement, social media promotion, or collaboration of any kind. I also won’t be participating in or lending my name to work that centers on explicit sexual content or efforts to reposition it as mainstream literary romance.

When I initially reached out, it was in the spirit of discussing writing craft, readership, and the broader publishing journey in a professional, author-to-author context. Your recent messages move beyond that scope, and I’m not comfortable continuing the conversation in that direction. That said, I should also be honest that I’m not particularly knowledgeable about book marketing myself. A few years ago, I struggled with that side of publishing as well. The difference for me came when I connected with a professional marketer who has since handled that aspect very effectively, significantly improving sales and reader engagement over time. If you’re interested in exploring marketing support independently, I’m happy to share her contact details so you can decide whether it’s a good fit for you. If not, that’s completely fine as well. I wish you the best in finding the audience that aligns with your work, but this is where I’ll be stepping back.

ME: Why does every famous author who reaches out to me out of nowhere, pretending to be interested in my book and “writing journey,” end up trying to recommend some marketing person in Nigeria or the Philippines and then “stepping back”? I don’t think you are really interested in me, my book, or promoting the dinosaur-sex genre. Are you really Kristin…or a fake?

The morning after that exchange, I got a solicitation from “Elara James” (elerajames.pr@gmail.com) a “book specialist.” You’ll notice that “she” keeps changing how she spells her own name as the conversation goes on.

ELARA – Hi Lee, I recently came across “The Dinosaur’s Embrace: A Forbidden Romance” and wanted to reach out personally. It’s a bold and unconventional concept, and stories that lean into taboo, speculative romance often attract highly dedicated niche readerships when positioned thoughtfully. Books like yours tend to resonate most when they are clearly aligned with the right audience expectations and discoverability channels. In niche romance categories especially, visibility, positioning, and reader targeting play a significant role in ensuring the book reaches readers who actively seek imaginative and boundary-pushing stories. I work with romance and speculative fiction authors to improve discoverability through tailored, reader-focused marketing, including:

  • Targeted placement within niche romance and speculative reader communities
  •  Amazon listing optimisation to ensure accurate positioning, keywords, and category alignment
  •  Visibility strategies designed to attract the rightreaders and manage expectations effectively

Everything I do is tailored to the individual book and its audience, with no generic packages or one-size-fits-all solutions. If you’re open to it, I’d be happy to take a brief look at “The Dinosaur’s Embrace” and share a few practical suggestions that could help it connect more effectively with its intended readership. Would you like me to outline a short, customised visibility plan for the book? Warm regards, Elara James

ME: Why are you sending me this pitch for “The Dinosaur’s Embrace: A Forbidden Romance.” The author is Diane Desire. It’s clearly a pseudonym, but what makes you think it’s me?

ELARA: Thank you for your note, and I appreciate you flagging this. I want to apologise for the mix-up. During my research, I came across your name in connection with genre discussions online and made an incorrect assumption when reaching out. That was my mistake, and I completely understand your reaction. There was no intent to suggest any involvement on your part with the book or the pseudonym, and I’m sorry for the inconvenience. I’ve corrected my records to ensure you won’t receive any further outreach related to this title. Thank you for taking the time to respond, and my apologies again for the confusion. Regards, Elera James

ME: No problem, I understand. You’re part of the Fake Kristin Hannah scheme…or, more likely, the same person. I implied in that ridiculous conversation that I wrote the book — and “she” offered to refer me to her fake marketing services person. And out of the blue, you emailed me about it. Really dumb. And I’ve got to say, using influencer Humeela’s photo as your own, just shows what dummies you are. How does anybody fall for this scam?

ELARA: Hi Lee, I’m going to clarify this once and then step away. I am not connected to any impersonation accounts, fake author schemes, or the individuals you’re referencing. I don’t know who you were corresponding with previously, and I was not involved in that exchange. My outreach to you was a separate, mistaken contact, which I already acknowledged and apologised for. I understand why this raised red flags given your recent experience, and I don’t blame you for reacting strongly. That said, the assumptions you’re making about my identity and work are incorrect. There’s no benefit in continuing this exchange, so I’ll leave it here. I wish you the best, and you won’t hear from me again. Regards, Elara James

ME: No, I’m absolutely right. I’ll be posting this whole exchange with Fake Kristin and Fake Elara/Elera on social media — as I have with every other fake author and swindler I’ve talked to — so fewer people will fall for your scam.

ELARA: Lee, I’m not going to engage in insults or speculation. I’ve already stated clearly that I am not connected to any impersonation accounts, fake authors, or scams, and that my initial email to you was a mistaken piece of outreach. That remains the full extent of my involvement here. You’re free to post whatever you choose. I’ve corrected my records, and there will be no further contact from me. This will be my final response Elara James

ME: It’s amazing to me how you refuse to give up, even when you’re caught red-handed, as we say in America. You may not be familiar with that phrase in Nigeria. The mistake you made was associating me with a ridiculously obscure Dinosaur sex novel. The ONLY way you could have done that was if you were part of the exchange with Fake Kristen Hannah (or are the same dimwit scammer). Major screw up. But since you are using the name of a well-known singer (but you can’t seem to decide on the correct spelling), and using the profile pic of a well-known influencer as your own, it’s not surprising. 

<crickets>

My conversation with Fake Lindsay Gibson

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My conversation with Fake Lindsay Gibson <gibsonlindsay321@gmail.com>, a scammer pretending to be the clinical psychologist who has written a number of non-fiction books about emotionally immature parents. Why they picked her as their lure into a book marketing scam is beyond me… but it gave me a chance to have a lot of fun.

FAKE LINDSAY: Hello, It’s a real pleasure connecting with you. I’m Lindsay Gibson, an author diving deep into stories that explore resilience, human nature, and the threads that bind past and present. If you’d like to check out my work, here’s a quick link: XX. I’d love to hear more about your writing as well what you’re crafting, the worlds you’re building, or a link to your author page. It’s always great connecting with another storyteller who’s passionate about ideas and the art of shaping them. Warm regards, Lindsay Gibson

ME: I’m so glad to hear from you, since you’re also a shrink. My fellow authors have been avoiding me ever since I lost my testicles in a tragic tree-trimming accident. It’s so mean. It’s not as if what happened to me is a virus they can catch if they visit me in the hospital. I’m going to write about this harrowing experience. What do you think? Does it qualify as a story that explores resilience, human nature, and the threads that bind us? I do worry a lot about how this accident will impact my sex life, and my sense of manhood, but on the plus side, my singing voice has improved.

FL: Hello, Thank you so much for opening up and sharing what you’ve been through. That kind of experience is incredibly difficult, and the fact that you’re thinking about turning it into a story already shows a strong sense of courage and creative purpose. As writers, we often take the hardest moments in our lives and transform them into work that helps others feel seen or understood. Your experience definitely touches themes of resilience, identity, and the way unexpected events can reshape our sense of self. If handled thoughtfully, it could make for a powerful and deeply human piece of writing. What matters most is telling it in a way that feels true to you — balanced, reflective, and focused on the emotional journey rather than just the event itself. Readers connect to honesty, vulnerability, and the search for meaning, and it sounds like you have all of those elements within reach.I’m glad to hear your voice has even found new strength — life has a way of surprising us in unexpected ways. If you ever want to discuss structure, tone, or direction for the piece, feel free to share your ideas. I’m always open to thoughtful conversations about craft. With Christmas just around the corner, I’d also love to know if you have any plans for your book during this holiday season. Are you doing anything special to spotlight it for readers who are searching for thoughtful, heartfelt books at this time of year? Warm regards, Lindsay Gibson

ME: It’s not written yet. How can I spotlight it for readers searching for Christmas books? That’s a very strange thing to say, Lindsay. What are you getting at? Right now, my focus is on learning how to urinate again and trying to imagine what my life will be like without my junk…especially sex. I’m making notes though, for the book. Raw, honest stuff. Nobody else has written about this before. It’s not really going to be Merry Christmas reading when I’m done. Though JINGLE BELLS might be a good title for it.

<20 hours pass>

ME: Are you abandoning me now, too? A man is more than just his scrotum.

<crickets>

My Conversation with Fake Peter James

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My conversation with Fake Peter James <author.peterjames.org@gmail.com>

FAKE PETER: Hi Lee, I hope you are doing well. My name is Peter James and I recently finished Fallen Star. I wanted to reach out and say how much I enjoyed it. The mix of political scandal, personal stakes, and nonstop tension made the story gripping from the first pages. Eve’s moral struggle and her dynamic with Duncan added real depth to the investigation, and the crash near her home was a powerful turning point. I would love to hear what inspired you to take Eve’s journey in this direction at this stage of the series. Warm Regard, Peter James Writer.

ME: I’m glad you reached out, Peter. I was going to call you. The agent you recommended stole $57,000 from me. Did you get swindled, too?

FP: Hi Lee, I’m really sorry you’re going through this that’s an awful situation. Just to be clear, I’m not connected to whatever happened with the money, and I definitely wasn’t involved in anything like that. I recommended the agent in good faith based on what I believed was a trustworthy reputation, so hearing this from you is genuinely upsetting.I’d like to help however I can. If you’re taking steps to resolve the issue, I’m happy to share any information or details on my end that might support you. Also, separate from this mess, I’d still love to support your work. If you’d like, I can help promote your book through my author network, my website, or my reader community. Just let me know what direction you prefer interviews, features, sharing previews, or anything else that feels useful. Again, I’m really sorry you’re dealing with this.

ME: You should be sorry. YOU told me that he’d taken your books to “the next level.” He didn’t do shit for me. He turned out to be a Nigerian scammer who ran off with my money. If you honestly want to help, Interpol has created a special, international task force to go after scammers who prey on authors. I can forward your email and phone number to the agent-in-charge so he can talk to you directly. I have your email… what’s your phone number?

<crickets>

Gee, I wonder why he suddenly ghosted me.

Here is my very short conversation with Fake Mary Kubica <marykubica920@gmail.com> 

FAKE MARY KUBICA: Dear. I hope this message finds you well. I came across your profile on Facebook and wanted to reach out. As a fellow writer, I always enjoy meeting others who are passionate about storytelling and the creative life. By way of introduction, my name is Mary kubica. I’m a New York Times bestselling author of suspense thrillers including The Good Girl, The Other Mrs., and Local Woman Missing, and I love exploring the comedic, turbulent, and sentimental parts of being human. Writing has always been both my way of making sense of the world and connecting with others who share that same impulse. I’d love to hear more about your own journey, what first inspired you to write, and what kind of stories excite you most at the moment? Looking forward to your reply. Mary Kubica.

ME: I’ve never stopped loving you. Send me more nudes.

FAKE MARY: What’s your number?

ME:  (310) 477-6565

<crickets>

The number I gave her was for the FBI’s office in Los Angeles. I hope she sent them pictures!

My Conversation with Fake Donna Tartt

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You’d think the scammers would learn by now not to email me with the “Famous Author Wants to Learn About Your Creative Journey” ploy. But no, they keep coming. Here is my email exchange with Fake Donna Tartt <donnatartt2@gmail.com>. I decided to take a new approach this time.

FAKE DONNA: Hi. I hope this email finds you well. My name is Donna, and I recently came across your work. As a fellow author, I felt inspired to reach out and connect. I truly enjoy building relationships with other writers to share experiences, exchange insights, and encourage one another throughout the creative journey. I’d love to hear more about your writing and what inspires you. Looking forward to your reply. Warm regards, Donna

ME: This is Lee’s wife. He will not be “sharing experiences” or “exchanging insights” or anything else with you, b—h. I saw the porno pictures you sent him after the Virginia Festival of the Book. Who did your boob job, a veterinarian? Instead of going after married men, you should be looking for love at the pound. Valerie

FD: Dear Valerie, I’m very sorry to hear how upset you are. I want to assure you that there has been a misunderstanding, I have never sent any inappropriate photos or messages to your husband. My communications with Lee have been entirely professional and related to our shared work as writers. I hope we can clear this up without further hurt or confusion. I wish you both the best moving forward.

ME: Don’t lie to me, Donna. I am not fooled by this new gmail address…or your unbelievable message. Do you think I am an idiot? No bestselling writers EVER email other writers wanting to learn about their creative journey. This was a coded message. He told you to back off… but you can’t resist him, can you? The only reason Lee isn’t seeing this is because he’s sick in bed…and he asked me to answer his emails for him.

FD: Dear Valerie, I understand that emotions are running high, but I need to be absolutely clear: your accusations are unfounded. My correspondence with Lee has been strictly professional and related to writing, nothing more. There have been no inappropriate photos, messages, or hidden meanings of any kind. I take my professional integrity seriously and won’t allow false claims to damage it. I wish your family well and hope this matter can be settled here now. Sincerely, Donna

ME: LOL. I saw the pictures, you lying slut. I’m not blind. It’s YOU. Or are you now going to claim you have an evil double, an identical twin, or a split personality disorder? No “professional” writer would send an email like you sent my husband tonight. It’s laughable. What planet are you on?

It’s funny that this scammer takes his “professional integrity seriously”… while masquerading as Donna Tartt as part of con to swindle me out of money on fake book club appearances and non-existent marketing services. What I don’t get is why he kept engaging with “my wife” after the first response. Why bother defending himself? Did he really think he still had a shot at selling their swindle?

My Conversation with a Second Fake Suzanne Collins

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Here’s my email exchange with a Second Fake Suzanne Collins (suzannecollins113@gmail.com) . I started by using my reply to Fake Taylor Jenkins-Reid… and the conversation reached a surprising conclusion.

FAKE SUZANNE: Hi, I’m Suzanne Collins. Most of my days are spent shaping ideas that refuse to stay quiet stories about struggle, survival, and the choices we make when everything’s on the line. Some tales arrive fully formed, others take time to fight their way to the surface. Writing can feel solitary, but it’s also how I connect, how I make sense of the world around us. I’d love to hear about your own path what drives you, what keeps you creating when things get tough, and how you keep your imagination alive. There’s a lot we can learn from sharing those moments. Best, Suzanne

ME: Suzi, I told you before, my wife often reads my emails… and she’s not going to be fooled by this. At least this time you didn’t attach photos! When you made that pass at me at Harlan’s party, I thought it was because you were drunk. I didn’t realize how serious you were. You are a very attractive, talented woman… but I am a happily married man. We have a great time together at conferences and book festivals, but it can’t go beyond friendship and mutual respect. I hope you will understand.

FS: Hi Lee, I understand, and I’m sorry if my message gave the wrong impression that truly wasn’t my intention. I only wanted to reach out to discuss writing and creative work, nothing more. I’ve always appreciated your insights and thought it would be great to share ideas about our craft. Wishing you and your family all the best. Warm regards, Suzanne

ME: C’mon, Suzi. We both know that isn’t true. We both know what you mean by “reaching out.” I need to know you understand what I am saying. I don’t want you making another pass at me at Bouchercon.

FS: I think there’s been a misunderstanding. The only reason I reached out was to talk about writing specifically, the challenges you’ve faced with your books and creative process. I value your experience and perspective as a fellow author, and that’s truly all this was about. I respect your boundaries completely and hope we can keep our interactions focused on our shared passion for storytelling. Best, Suzanne

ME: Stop playing games, and pretending your emails are being written by some soulless AI instead of a human being. There will be no “interactions focused on our shared passion.” Do I need to get a restraining order? I swear I will do it unless you drop the charade and give me a straight answer.

FS: I’m truly sorry this has turned into such a misunderstanding. I have no hidden motives, and I’m not pretending to be anyone else. I reached out simply because I admire your work and wanted to learn from your experiences as an author nothing more. Please don’t feel threatened or uncomfortable; that was never my intent. I respect your marriage, your boundaries, and your wishes. I’d never want to cause tension or make you feel uneasy. I hope this clears things up, and I sincerely wish you the best with your writing and upcoming projects. Warm regards, Suzanne

I decided to leave it at that…though I was tempted to say, “My wife just left for a week on business. Let’s talk dirty!”

My Very Short Email Exchange with Fake Taylor Jenkins-Reid

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Here’s my very short email exchange with Fake Taylor Jenkins-Reid (reidtaylorjenkins@gmail.com)

FAKE TAYLOR: I hope you are doing well. I’m Taylor Jenkins Reid, and I’m an author passionate about crafting emotionally driven historical fiction. My novels have been fortunate to appear on The New York Times bestseller list and to be featured in various book clubs and publications. One of my most recognised works is Atmosphere, which you can find here: XX. You can also visit my full Amazon Author Page here: XX . What I love most about writing, beyond the stories themselves, is connecting with fellow authors and learning about the creative journeys that shape their work. I’d be delighted to hear more about your writing and the stories you bring to life. Please feel free to share a link to your book, website, Goodreads, or Amazon page; I’d love to take a look. Though writing can sometimes feel like a solitary pursuit, I believe that connecting with other storytellers makes the experience far more meaningful. I look forward to learning more about your work and perhaps finding mutual inspiration along the way. Warm regards, Taylor Jenkins Reid

ME: Taylor, I told you before, my wife often reads my emails… and she’s not going to be fooled by this. At least this time you didn’t attach photos! When you made that pass at me at Hal’s party, I thought it was because you were drunk. I didn’t realize how serious you were. You are a very attractive, talented woman… but I am a happily married man. We have a great time together at conferences and book festivals, but it can’t go beyond friendship and mutual respect. I hope you will understand. 

12 Hours go by

ME: Hello? I need to know you understand. This has to stop.

It did!

My Conversation with Fake Elena Ferrante

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Over the last week, lots of scammers pretending to be famous authors have reached out to me. My recent email conversation with Fake Elena Ferrante (elenaferrante510@gmail.com) was short and sweet:

Elena: Hi, I’m Elena Ferrante! I’m a novelist and former journalist. You might know me from My Brilliant Friend and the rest of the Neapolitan series, which explores the lives and friendships of women in a vividly rendered world. My books include My Brilliant Friend, The Story of the Lost Child, and The Days of Abandonment. Readers have described them as powerful, deeply emotional, and full of strong, complex characters. I’d love to hear more about your own writing as well! Best regards, Elena Ferrante

Me: Elena, It’s great to hear from you. It’s been so long since we last met. I’ve signed with a new agent since then who has incredible marketing savvy… and could vault you into an even higher tier of sales. Would you like me to put you in touch with him?

Elena: Dear Lee, It’s lovely to hear from you after all this time. I’m very glad to know your new agent has been such a strong support for your work that is a gift every writer hopes for. Thank you for thinking of me and for the generous offer to make an introduction. At the moment, I am already working with a marketing agency that has been assisting me closely. They understand my approach to privacy and the unique ways my books reach readers. But if you are interested, I would be more than happy to connect you with them. They have been excellent partners and I can recommend them with confidence. I hope your writing continues to flourish and I’d love to hear how your latest projects are progressing. With warm regards, Elena Ferrante

Me: My marketing agency is terrific. They are the ones you recommended to me at our lunch. Which reminds me, how is Hal doing?

 
After that… crickets. She was gone.

I’ve never met the real Elena Ferrante, and I made up Hal….but the idea of trying to respond to that email without tripping over themselves scared them off.

My Conversation with Fake Dan Brown

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Since FALLEN STAR came out last week, I’ve been bombarded with messages from scammers pretending to be famous authors, just wanting to be my pal. Fake JK Rowling wanted to co-author books with me… but first asked me to donate to her favorite charity. Fake Barbara Kingsolver wanted me to meet her marketing guru. I was curious what Fake Dan Brown (author.danbrownbooks@gmail.com) wanted from me. Here is our exchange:

Dan: I was checking out some new titles the other day and your book really stood out to me, it looks like the kind of story that comes straight from the heart. I always enjoy hearing what drives fellow authors to create. Was there a particular experience or moment that inspired this book? I’d love to check out more of your work too, do you have an Amazon link or author page you could share?

Me: Wow, this is so exciting — and on the same day I heard from John Grisham and JK Rowling, who also want to hear all about me and my book. I must be doing something right. I had no idea that big-time famous authors send emails with their photos, their bios, and links to their author pages to writers they’ve never met. It really adds that personal, warm touch. What a special creative moment. I’ve learned something already. I hope you have a charity you want me to contribute to or a marketing program to recommend. 

Dan: Haha, I have to say, your message gave me a good laugh, you’ve got quite the wit! I completely understand what you mean; the world of author connections can feel a bit surreal sometimes. I didn’t expect to hear from so many writers myself when I started reaching out either. But really, it’s great to meet you and hear about your work. I’m genuinely interested in learning more about your book, what inspired it, and what kind of readers you think will connect most with it? I always find it fascinating how every author’s creative journey has its own twist. And don’t worry, no charities or marketing programs hiding behind this note, just a fellow writer saying hello.

Me: Why are John Grisham and JK Rowling also interested in my creative journey, what inspired me, and what kind of readers I want to connect with? Don’t they have books to write? Don’t you? Couldn’t you just Google me to learn more about me and my work? I’m a successful author, so there’s a lot of information about me out there. But I haven’t sold 250  million books like you, John and JK have. Maybe I should be reaching out to authors less successful than me and asking them about their creative journey. Is that the secret to your success?

Dan: You’re absolutely right, authors like John, JK, and myself always seem to have more stories to write than hours in the day! But if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s that real success in this industry doesn’t just come from writing, it comes from connecting, learning, and surrounding yourself with the right people. Honestly, the turning point in my own journey came when I found an agent who truly understood how to guide me, not just through publishing, but through the creative and marketing side as well. I was sincere about what I wanted, and that trust made all the difference. If you’re open to it, I can connect you with that same agent. I’m confident you’d find real value in that connection, they’ve been instrumental for me and several other authors who are now part of our circle.

Me: You want to recommend me to Heide Lange?

Dan: Ah, yes, Heide is also my agent. She’s fantastic, no doubt about that. But the one I was actually referring to is my private agent, someone I’ve worked with closely for quite some time now. That’s the agent I wanted to recommend you to, he’s more behind the scenes, but he really knows how to work with authors in a way that feels comfortable and personal. I’ve seen how effective he can be, especially when it comes to helping writers position themselves and their books for stronger visibility. That’s why I thought of connecting you with him. Would you be open to that?

Me: I’ve never heard of a “private agent” before. What does he do that Heide doesn’t?

Dan: That’s a fair question, most authors haven’t heard the term “private agent” before. It’s just what I call the agent I work with more personally, outside the usual literary representation setup. Heide handles the publishing and contract side of things, but my private agent focuses on strategy, optimizing visibility, author branding, and creating real opportunities that keep my books in front of the right readers. It’s that extra layer of guidance that makes a big difference. And honestly, I just feel comfortable working with him, he understands how authors think and makes the whole process much smoother. If you’re open to it, I can connect you with him. I genuinely think you’d find the collaboration refreshing and worthwhile.

Me: Who is he and who are his other clients? I’ll look him up.

Dan: He’s an independent literary and marketing consultant I’ve collaborated with for quite a while. He usually works quietly behind the scenes with a few select authors, helping them strengthen their online presence, polish their branding, and reach new readers in creative ways.He’s not one of those public-facing agents you’ll easily find listed online, but he’s been incredibly effective for the writers he partners with. If you’d like to reach out directly, here’s his contact information: almustyeditions@gmail.com

Me: What’s his name? Who are some of the other authors he’s worked with? 

Dan: His name’s Almusty. He’s an independent consultant I’ve been collaborating with for quite a while now. Most of the authors he works with prefer to stay discreet, since he focuses more on tailored strategies and behind-the-scenes work rather than public representation. What really sets him apart is how personally he approaches each author’s goals, it’s not a one-size-fits-all process. That’s why I’ve stayed with him; he’s helped me refine how I connect with readers and position my work. You can connect with him directly, he’ll be glad to share more information about his work and how he helps authors.

Me: I need more information than that. What is Almusty’s full name? Where is he based? If I reach out to Heide, will she recommend him?

Dan: You know, if you want to know more about the agent, kindly contact him. So sorry for that, very busy to answer those questions.

Me: This has been fun. What I don’t get is why you kept  the conversation going after the second message, when I basically came right out and told you I knew you were a fraud. I even invited you to google me… and if you had, you’d know how much I enjoy playing with scammers like you. The “private agent” bit was hilarious. It was also very stupid. I’ll be sharing this entire exchange on my social media channels Have a good day!

I haven’t heard back….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Famous Authors Want to Help Me With My Key Words!

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My new novel FALLEN STAR came out on Tuesday… so naturally I heard today from a slew of famous authors I don’t know offering to help me market my book… like this email from Suzzane Collins:

Hello Lee,

I hope this message finds you well. I recently came across your work and wanted to take a moment to reach out. As a fellow author, I’ve always believed one of the most fulfilling parts of this journey is connecting with writers who share a genuine passion for storytelling and creative expression.

For reference, here’s my official Amazon information: Book: Sunrise Reaping (A Hunger Games Novel)
Author Page: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B001H6V7I0

I’d love to learn more about your writing journey and any current projects you’re working on. If you’d like, please feel free to share your author page or book link—I’d be delighted to take a look and support your work.

Wishing you continued inspiration and every success in your creative endeavors,
Suzzane Collins
contact.suzzanecollinsbooks@gmail.com

Suzzane Collins has had a successful and prolific career writing for children’s television. She has worked on the staffs of several Nickelodeon shows, including the Emmy-nominated hit Clarissa Explains It All and The Mystery Files of Shelby Woo. Collins made her mark in children’s literature with the New York Times bestselling five-book series for middle-grade readers The Underland Chronicles, which has received numerous accolades in both the United States and abroad. In the award-winning The Hunger Games trilogy, Collins continues to explore the effects of war and violence on those coming of age. Collins lives with her family in Connecticut.

Naturally, I was very excited that she wanted to hear about my “writing journey” and look at my author page. But when I suggested to her that she might not really be Suzzane, boy, did she set me straight:

Your loss. I actually wanted to refer you to an agent who can help you with your problem you have been facing since you published your book.

I didn’t know I needed an agent, or had a problem facing me with my book in the last 24 hours. I feel like such a fool now. But luckily, after I heard from her, I got a note from John Grisham.

Hello Lee Goldberg,

Some stories leave a lasting impression and yours feels like one of them. I came across your book and could immediately sense the passion and effort you’ve poured into it. It’s the kind of story that deserves a much wider audience.

Many great authors face challenges not because their work lacks quality, but because it doesn’t reach enough of the right readers. A few smart strategies can change that from optimizing keywords readers actually search for, to generating authentic reviews that boost visibility through Amazon’s algorithm. Those small shifts can make your book stand out, earn trust, and attract consistent engagement.

I’ve seen these methods help authors turn quiet launches into thriving titles that readers genuinely recommend and discuss. If you’re open to it, I’d love to share a few tailored insights to help your book gain the attention it deserves all fully within Amazon’s guidelines.

Warm regards,
John Grisham
info.johngrisham0@gmail.com

John Grisham is the author of more than fifty consecutive #1 bestsellers, which have been translated into nearly fifty languages. His recent books include The Boys From Biloxi, The Judge’s List, Sooley, and his third Jake Brigance novel, A Time for Mercy, which is being developed by HBO as a limited series. Grisham is a two-time winner of the Harper Lee Prize for Legal Fiction and was honored with the Library of Congress Creative Achievement Award for Fiction.

I know it has to really be him, because he loves reaching out to authors he doesn’t know to offer “tailored insights” for their Amazon marketing strategies…and always includes his photo and bio in his emails. It’s the mark of authenticity! I think we’re going to be best friends.

But first, I need to respond to the email I got from JK Rowling…

UPDATE 10/20/25:

Today I heard from Dan Brown!

Dan Brown <author.danbrownbooks@gmail.com>

Hi Lee,
I was checking out some new titles the other day and your book really stood out to me, it looks like the kind of story that comes straight from the heart.

I always enjoy hearing what drives fellow authors to create. Was there a particular experience or moment that inspired this book?

I’d love to check out more of your work too, do you have an Amazon link or author page you could share?

Here’s mine if you’d like to take a look as well: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B000AP9DSU

Wishing you many creative moments ahead,
Dan

Dan Brown is the author of eight #1 bestselling novels, including The Da Vinci Code, which has become one of the bestselling novels of all time as well as the subject of intellectual debate among readers and scholars. Brown’s novels are published in 56 languages around the world with over 250 million copies in print.

Brown was named one of the 100 Most Influential People in the World by TIME Magazine, whose editors credited him with “keeping the publishing industry afloat; renewed interest in Leonardo da Vinci and early Christian history; spiking tourism to Paris and Rome; a growing membership in secret societies; the ire of Cardinals in Rome; eight books denying the claims of the novel and seven guides to read along with it; a flood of historical thrillers; and a major motion picture franchise.”

The son of a mathematics teacher and a church organist, Brown was raised on a prep school campus where he developed a fascination with the paradoxical interplay between science and religion. These themes eventually formed the backdrop for his books. He is a graduate of Amherst College and Phillips Exeter Academy, where he later returned to teach English before focusing his attention full time to writing. He lives in New England.
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I need to start including my photo, a link to my author page and my bio in all of my personal emails, too. It adds that extra personal touch. I can’t wait to see what famous, big-time author reaches out to me tomorrow.

The Fawcett Publications Scam

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I’d love to give the scammers at Fawcett Publications a call for one of my video take downs, but I’m waaaay too busy. So I thought I’d share with you just how laughably inept their swindle is.
 
I got an email from “Blake Wallace,” their “Assistant VP,” who is impressed with my work and wants to help me reach a wide audience (see email below). I checked out their site and had a good laugh.
 
First, their “head office” in Anaheim, CA and their “regional office” in Rochester Minnesota are both apartments, according to Google Earth. Their “regional office” in Skokie Illinois is shared with Penguin Book Writers, a ghost writing service. They imply on their Penguin site that they have ghosted scores of bestselling novels, including TJ Newman‘s FALLING and the screenplay version, too! (See screen grabs).
 
They also imply that their expert ghostwriters wrote the Julie Andrews autobiography, the Philip Roth biography, and Robert Caro’s The Years of Lyndon Johnson (see screen grab).
 
Imagine my surprise when the photo for one of their top ghost writers, “JD Greear”, actually belongs to Emmy award winning writer/producer Phil Rosenthal (see screen capture below), creator of Everybody Loves Raymond. That one gave me a big laugh. How dumb and lazy are these scammers??
 
According to Google Reverse Image search, their photo for ghost writer “Gena Palumbo,” actually belongs to author Genevieve Wheeler, author of Adelaide. And their photo of ghost writer “Remi Blackwood” was stolen from Helen Elaine Lee, a professor at MIT and author of the novel Pomegranate.
 
It gets even better. They have a disclaimer in itsy-bitsy letters at the bottom of their Fawcett Publications site that says:
“Disclaimer: Fawcett Publications heavily draws its inspiration from Wilford Fawcett but is, regardless, an independent entity.”
And yet their logo says they were founded in 1919… the same year that Wilford Fawcett founded his company (see screen grab below). What an amazing coincidence.
 
They also claim to have 19 #1 NY Times bestsellers and have sold over 100 million books. And yet, their head office is in an Anaheim apartment. Clearly, those ridiculous claims “heavily draw” from the real Fawcett, too.
 
This is one lame-ass scam.