On Other Blogs

LitNazi Questionnaire

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On his blog, my brother Tod fills out the questionnaire the Citizens For Literary Standards are sending to candidates for the Blue Valley School Board in Overland Park, KS. His answers to their  self-serving questions makes for good reading… which, of course, means it would be banned if these "citizens" had their way.

The Citizens for Literary Standards, you may recall,  seek to "inform parents and the community about poor quality literature and vulgar subject matter (profanity, sex, occultism) in  graded reading assignments."  Books these LitNazis want to ban from high school include such "poor quality literature"  as ALL THE PRETTY HORSES, ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST, BELOVED, LORDS OF DISCIPLINE, CATCHER IN THE RYE, OF MICE AND MEN,  and I KNOW WHY THE CAGED BIRD SINGS.

It makes sense to me. As we all know, reading CATCHER IN THE RYE has turned generations of Americans into Satan-worshipping, drug-addicted, sociopathic liberals. 

 

Star Trek R.I.P.

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I’ve been catching up on my my friend Javier Grillo Marxuach’s blog. We worked together years ago on SEAQUEST, and he’s gone on to much better things… like his current gig as supervising producer of LOST. A few weeks back, he wrote  about the demise of  ENTERPRISE.

For the past ten years, being a star trek fan has been like watching a
beloved relative waste away from a completely curable degenerative
illness… you prayed for someone to administer the readily available
magic bullet of creative freedom, bold choices and individual
thought… and yet, its care was continually entrusted to insurance
company administrators eager to deliver the bottom line.

He nails it, doesn’t he?

Don’t Pay Them, They Pay You

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Prolific author Lynn Viehl (well, that’s one of her pen-names, anyway) remembers the temptation, back when she was an aspiring author (or is it authors in her case?),  to sign with one of those agents who tried to steer her into a book doctor scam.  the book doctor said her manuscript needed work… and it would cost $1300 to fix it up. She almost wrote the check…but thought better of it, despite his dire warnings that she was making a grave mistake. A few years later, the "agent" and the "book doctor" got nailed by the law for defrauding 3600 people with their phony literary agency and publishing house.  As she says, "aspiring writers, make it your mantra:  you don’t pay them, they pay you."

“Shannon Elizabeth Remembers She’s a Celebrity, Divorces Fat Man”

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That headline, from the blog TVgasm, made me laugh out loud…  the rest of the post is pretty funny, too.

All things come in three’s, including celebrity break-ups.

Last night American Pie masturbating chick filed for divorce from
LOST’s Hurley. (ok not really) This break-up was taken particularly
hard by fat, hairy unnattractive men everywhere who thought, "See, it
could happen to me." No, fat man…it can’t.

Shannon forwent the usual "irreconcilable differences" claim, rather
filing under the less oft used, "He stopped hypnotizing me" defense.

Blubbering About Blurbs

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I got back from El Paso to find three emails from authors asking me if I would blurb their books. I’m always astonished that anyone want a blurb from me.  I mean c’mon, who is going to buy a book because Lee Goldberg says he likes it?  Who the hell is Lee Goldberg?

(Uh-oh, there I go talking about myself in the third person. Who do I think I am? A professional athlete?)

I’ve only blurbed a few over the years… Aimee & David Thurlo’s Ella Clah novels, Doug Lyle’s "Forensics for Dummies,"  Lono Waiwaiole’s "Wiley’s Shuffle," Paul Bishop’s "Tequila Mockingbird," Richard Yokley’s "TV Firefighters,"  Lewis Perdue’s upcoming novel, and a couple of others, and was flattered to be asked… though it puts me in an awkward position. What if I don’t like the books?   I have the same philosophy about blurbing that my friend, the much-better-looking-in-a t-shirt-than-me, author Gregg Hurwitz does:

No matter how much talent you have, to make it in publishing, you
always need the right help from the right people at the right time.
Call it luck, call it fate, call it whatever you please, but though
hard work and talent are a necessity (usually), few novelists I’ve met
have gotten by on these alone. I caught some breaks early in my career,
and I’m always grateful to those who read my work early and took a
gamble, putting in their time and making use of their contacts for me. Though writing is fiercely independent, I do see a responsibility to
give back to the community, to pass along the good karma that I’ve been
fortunate enough to receive. I don’t give back to the writing community
by telling author who need improvement that their books are fantastic,
and I don’t give back to the reading community by endorsing crap.

I’ve been able to politely decline the requests for blurbs over the last year because of my accident, the huge amount of writing I had to do, and the scary deadlines I had to meet.
This is the first time in months that my workload has eased up enough
for me to have the opportunity to read any manuscripts besides my own.

Over the years I have imposed on a lot of my friends (and authors I don’t know but whom I admire) for blurbs and many have been kind enough to come through for me. The least I can do is return
the favor… if not to the same authors, than to others. As it happens, these three authors are folks I’ve never asked for a blurb for my own work.

I only have a couple of caveats when it comes to blurbing:  I won’t blurb anything from the likes of PublishAmerica or other vanity presses and I won’t blurb anything I didn’t truly enjoy reading.  None of the three books I’m being asked to blurb are self-published and the authors say they won’t be hurt if, for whatever reason, I decide not to blurb their books. So I said yes, I’d read their manuscripts. Whether I actually decide to blurb them or not is a different story…

UPDATE (3-1-05) By way of  Diary of a Hype Hag comes this link to Adam Langer’s amusing article on the craft of  blurbing…