A Book No American Should Be Without

CovernamesxVISUAL CHRONICLES, the new book by my sisters Linda Woods & Karen Dinino, is available for pre-order on Amazon. What  are you waiting for?

My brother Tod, also a novelist, talks on his blog about how cool it is that our sisters are joining us in print:

What are the odds of four siblings actually making it in publishing? All of which is a long way of saying I’m proud of my sisters and,
uh, yeah, people at the Today Show, gimme a call. Let’s book some time.
Or is it too late to be a family on the next Amazing Race?

I’m sure it won’t be long now before Tod’s wife Wendy has a book out, too, tightening the screws on the rest of the Goldberg in-laws to start writing…

Where to Find Me

If you love books,  the Los Angeles Times Book Festival is the place to be next weekend.  I’ll be there browsing, buying, standing in line, and even signing a few books myself. Here’s my signing schedule:

April 23 
Mystery Bookstore 11-12
Mysterious Galaxy 12-1

April 24
Mystery Bookstore 10-11
Sisters in Crime 12-1

See you there!

Fanfic Blowback

Several blogs have weighed in, pro and con and somewhere in-between, on my "Another Day in Fanfic" posting and the ensuing controversy. Here’s a sampling of excerpts:

From Crankywriter:

Fanfic is not taking food out of your family’s mouths, and it’s not
plagiarism. To call it that is an insult to writers who have been
plagiarized, like Nora Roberts, who called her experience akin to mind
rape. And yes, she’s a real writer, and Janet Dailey cut-and-pasted
Nora’s words and claimed them as hers. That’s plagiarism and parasitism
for you.

Nora Roberts doesn’t approve of fanfiction based on her work,  either. For all I know, she calls that "mind rape" and plagiarism, too.

From Banana Oil (a tiny excerpt from a long, long post):

The upshot here is that using others’ characters has a long
tradition among Real Writers, even without explicit consent. This is
not meant as a defense of fan fiction in toto, but rather as a suggestion that even Real Writers do it, so the act itself does not seem to be tainted from the outset.

I think what really bothers Lee are the people who want something for nothing, those who only
write fan fiction, taking other people’s characters and backgrounds,
playing with them like pieces on a chess board, and then proclaiming
“See? I’m a Writer now!” And hey, I’m with him, such people are
parasites and best ridiculed and dispensed with. However, I severely
doubt that each and every writer of fan fiction is such a remora (even
if many or most are), because were I to accept that premise, I must
dismiss a number of my favorite Real Writers as well, something I am
wholly unwilling to do.

From the Creative Guy:

Plagiarism is a very dangerous word to throw around.  Certainly
it has its place, but does it really belong in a discussion (if that’s
the word) concerning fanfic?  According to media tie-in author Lee Goldberg, the answer is yes.
It’s hard to know where to start with this rant, considering how wrong-headed the entire thing is.  Having had some experience with plagiarism, I know there’s a vast gulf of difference between stealing someone else’s work and what fanfic authors do.

From Shannon Stacey:

As a reader, I don’t get it. Writing about the stuff you don’t get
to see—maybe Wonder Woman’s got a dirty old lady thing for the Boy
Wonder?—is not my cup of tea. Why? Because that has nothing to do with
the writer’s story. The actual writer who created those characters
has/had a vision for them, and that fanfic story ain’t it. For
example—the Star Wars movies. I’d have nothing to do with the three
prequels if they weren’t from George Lucas. I’m sure it’s entertaining
for many, it’s just not my cup of tea.

As a writer, I really don’t get it.  It’s copyright violation.  If you’re a writer, how is that not of huge
importance to you? If you write fanfic, and then get published with an
original work, how ironic would it be if you had to defend your
original work against copyright infringement?

You Don’t Get This Kind of Service at Hometown Buffet

138232_135AOL City Guide recently profiled Los Angeles caterer Gary Arabia

Not to be missed is Arabia’s Body Sushi experience. Originating from Japan, the Global Cuisine version entails a colorful array of sushi placed on  tea leaves and served on the body of a beautiful model. Patrons are  traditionally seated on the floor around her and dine directly off of her body.
For dessert, indulge in the Body Chocolate.

Your Great Idea for a TV Series

I get asked this so often, that I suppose its worth answering the question yet again. I received this email today:

In my search for bible writing info, I came across your site and read the ongoing discussion about series bibles.   I’m a beginning writer and have come up with what I think maybe a very good idea for a television series. The only series bible I can find is for He-Man and it’s hard to relate that to
what I’m writing.   I’ve found only tidbits of information about what is
included in a bible. I really want to know how a bible is structured – what to
put in and leave out.  I know you’re an experienced writer with an understanding
of all the formats of television, books and film.   I’d be extremely grateful
for any information you could give me – websites, books or just an email with helpful info.

I replied that I have several bibles, also known as writers guidelines, available on my website and in my book SUCCESSFUL TELEVISION WRITING. That said, it’s a complete and utter waste of your time to write one. Networks and studios don’t buy bibles… they buy scripts and they buy experience. Ideas are cheap, execution is everything. No one cares about your idea. No one is interested in hearing it. No one will buy a series from you until you have established yourself as a writer. Stick the idea in a drawer and wait until someone at a studio or network approaches you and says "Hey, have any great ideas for a TV series?" That’s the hard truth.

UPDATE 4-13-05:  I got a response this morning from the person who posed the question. Here it is:

Thanks for the sobering message.  Is that true for everything? Even animated comedic
television shows?

Yes. There’s a saying in TV… ideas are cheap, execution is everything. What the networks are buying aren’t ideas, they are buying the people who  execute the ideas (their experience, reputation, etc.). A series about homicide  cops in NY isn’t a great idea… Steven Bochco doing a series about homicide  cops in NY is. They bought Bochco, not the idea. A season of a TV
series costs $50 million — they aren’t going to entrust that money to someone who doesn’t have the experience to pull it off. I know what you’re thinking… I’ll pitch my idea to someone with experience and they can sell it. The thing  is, the people with experience want to sell their own ideas because, for years,
they have been toiling on other people’s shows, itching for a chance to do something of their own. Besides, creating your own show, and owning a piece of it, is where the money is.   
Why would they want to share that with you?

In the case of an animated comedy show, the creators have usually proven themselves, and had great success,  elsewhere…either with animated shorts, features, games, comic books, etc. Matt  Groening had a hit comic strip… and then a series of hit shorts on TRACY  ULLMAN SHOW….and that led to THE SIMPSONS.

A Romance Blogstorm

I don’t read romances, but I love reading my sister-in-law Wendy’s blog about the field. It turns out Wendy has the Goldberg family touch for creating controversy. The other day, Wendy wrote about her disappointment  with Romancing the Blog, a blog of web columnists who explore  the romance genre.

I love the idea of RTB. I want the excitement I felt at first to
continue. No, actually, I want there to
be a reason for that excitement. When
RTB launched it quickly became my first web stop of the day. I couldn’t wait to see who posted and what
they had to say. Now it’s something I
get around to, more from habit that interest. Sylvia’s post
about the online romance community was the first column that held my attention
in…I can’t remember when.

I don’t expect the earth to move
everytime I click on a blog, any blog.  But, with all possibilites RTB promises,
I expect them to deliver more often than not.  That’s it. The almost unvarnished truth.

Her post seems pretty tame to me, but it apparently sparked a blogstorm of controversy and led  novelist Alison Kent to reveal herself as one of RTB’s anonymous founders. Helen Kay writes today about the brouhaha (don’t you just love that word? It’s like a diabolical villain’s laugh…"Today, Mr. Bond, I will rule the world! BrouHAHA!").

Congrats to Wendy for
having the guts to blog about RTB even though she knew it put her butt on the
line.  She’s a grown-up and can speak for herself but I do want to say something
– despite what some comments have suggested, she didn’t do it just to be
controversial.  She did it because she is excited about the concept of RTB and
wants it to be successful and, yes, sometimes that means RTB needs to be
controversial too.  She pointed out it also needs to be diverse and relevant and
interesting.  Constructive criticisms not snarkiness.  She is allowed to have an
opinion and should be able to do so without having her motives questioned.

Now I think it’s time for Wendy to talk about fanfiction, vanity presses, the LA Times Book Review, and people who call themselves "pre-published authors."

Another Day in FanFic

Meljean Brook readily admits that her DC Comics-based  fanfic is a violation of copyright…but that she writes them anyway.

The first question is: isn’t it illegal?

Yes. There’s no
getting around that. I am using copyrighted characters, and using them
to write stories. The characters are owned by DC Comics, the copyrights
are current and valid….

And yet I wrote them anyway.

Don’t I have any sensibilities?
Any notion of right and wrong? Any inkling of what it is to own a
character? Why copyright infringement is a horrible thing to do?

The answer is: Yes. I do. Stealing ideas and claiming them as my own is the worst form of plagiarism.

I
don’t claim them as my own—I know exactly where the credit for their
creation lies. Did I write them? Yes. Do I own them? Nope. Anyone who
wants them can have them.

Does that little disclaimer at the
beginning of every fic that says "I don’t make any money from these"
absolve me of responsibility? No, I still violated copyrights.

So if she has so much respect for copyright, why did she do it? Because she simply couldn’t help herself.

Using someone else’s character and making that character behave in ways
the creator/copyright holder would never have condoned/conceived is
revolting. How dare I write about Batman and Wonder Woman becoming
romantically linked? How dare I write a slash fiction parody involving
Batman and Superman?

The answer is: I didn’t know what else to
do. I’m a writer—I may not be a very good one, but it is what I do.
When Batman and Wonder Woman grabbed a hold of me, they didn’t let go,
and I had to write it. There were stories in my head, and I told them
on paper like I do every other story in my head.

And because I’m a geek, and because I had no one else to talk to about this, I put it on the Internet.

I’ve heard a lot of inane justifications for writing fanfic, but this is the winner. She knows she’s using characters that aren’t her own, that she’s disrespecting the authors right to control their own creations, but none of that really matters… because she’s "a writer," so she had no other choice but to write the story and post it in the net.  She had to do it. It was an undeniable compulsion.

Because she’s "a writer."

No, Meljean, you’re not. You don’t have the slightest inking of what it means to be a writer or any respect for other writers.  A writer creates characters and stories  and respects the creative rights of his colleagues. You are a plagiarist. A creative parasite. To call yourself "a writer" to justify your creative theft and Internet publication of your work disrespects every real writer you steal from.

Now I know what you’re going to say…"I used fanfic to learn my craft. I am a writer now. A professional writer. I have a novella coming out from Berkley and I’m working on a novel.   So there!"

Uh-huh.

So why do you still proudly post all your fanfic on your site? A real writer would have more respect for her peers. A real writer — an adult —  would know better.

Grow up already.

Things Not to Say in a Creative Writing Class

My Brother Tod lays out the five things students shouldn’t bring up when discussing each other’s work in his creative writing classes. I like #4:

4. The word theme. See motif. And then get your head out of your ass.
Who cares about theme? I mean, really, when you walk into Barnes &
Noble, do you say, "I’d like to find a book today with a really good
theme," or when you see an ad on TV for a new movie like, say, Sahara,
do you immediately begin wondering about how cool the theme will be?
No. No you don’t. Do you know why? Because it is bullshit you learned
in high school because your teacher was lazy. I had a student last
quarter that I rather liked personally, but her story suffered because
she kept talking about getting the metaphor and theme right, until
finally I said, "Who gives a fuck about theme and metaphor? Let’s see a
show of hands." No one raised their hands — well, okay, one person
did, but she dropped the class with two weeks left, so she doesn’t
count — and I said, "No one gives a fuck about theme and metaphor
except high school English teachers." I then remembered, uh, yeah, she
was a high school English teacher.

By the way,  the total Fuck Count in the entirety of Tod’s post (ie the number of times the word fuck appears) is:  6. The Fuck Count should not be confused with the Fucktard Count, since fuckard is an entirely different word.

The Day in Fanfic

Helen Kaye has just discovered slash fanfic and she doesn’t get the appeal.

[The] "writing" tends to be based on existing television show characters where the
male actors are not gay on the show but where the slash writing puts them in
homoerotic relationships.  Yes, this appears to be a violation of, well,
everything.  Using other people’s characters?  That certainly doesn’t seem right
to me.  Putting these well known characters in situations that, at best, can be
described as out of context?  Well, that’s just wrong in my book. 

Meanwhile,  John Scalzi sees fanfic, even "slash" fanfic, as a barometer of success.

Honestly, though, if I were the creator of a science fiction or fantasy media
property (as opposed to a mere book author) and I didn’t find evidence of fanfic
online, I would be very worried. People don’t write fanfic if they
aren’t already so enthralled by your universe that they can’t handle the fact
you’re not producing it any faster, and are thus compelled to make some of their
own — the methadone, if you will, to your pure, sweet media property heroin… And if they’re writing slash (fanfic with sex!), chances are excellent that
you’re sucking in all of their take home pay that doesn’t go to rent, food and
cat products. It is the Buffy slash writers who paid for Joss Whedon’s boat (or
whatever other particularly silly display of wealth that he’s purchased for
himself).

You know how I feel on this topic, so I’ll refrain from comment. ..but yours are certainly welcome!

(Thanks to Wendy Duren and Jim Winter  for pointing me to these posts)

 

The Ghostly Junk Yard

My Mom was cleaning out her garage and found a handwritten story I wrote when I was ten, called THE GHOSTLY JUNKYARD. Here it is:

One day John and Juan went to the old house with a chicken coop and old cars. The old house was supposed to be haunted. So while Juan, who was 10, and John, who was 10, were looking around, John exclaimed: "LOOK, a ghost by the house!"

Juan looked back but there was nothing. Again John yelled the same thing but again Juan saw nothing. John said it was white in the shape of a person. Hair was white and shoes and everything.

The next day as they walked by the house they both saw a ghost run behind a tree. John and Juan had a reputation as Mystery Solvers. Last year they apprehended some bank robbers in Shanty Town. So to not attract attention they kept walking.

The next day they went in to the house and found a skeleton on the floor in front of the door! It had a hole in its head. It went right through his head. They quickly took a shovel from the junk and buried him. Later they went in the old house again and went to the haunted tower. When John saw a man laying bleeding from a hole through his head, he quickly ran to get Juan. When they came back it was gone! Later they searched the room and found a trapdoor and voices came out.

It was the bank robbers they arrested last year! Quickly they turned on Juan’s tape recorder and hid it while they got the police. An hour later they came back with the police and a police man said that John and Juan should go down the trapdoor so the police could arrest the robbers.

As they went down, a guy said "It’s those two finks who shot them." But the police came down and arrested them and the tape was solid evidence. So the robbers were sent to jail and Juan and John got rewarded.

What’s interesting to me is how much that reads like the stuff my nine-year-old daughter Madison is writing. Here is one of her latest stories, IN THE DARK MOVIE THEATRE.

  On one rainy day a girl named Jenny and
her dad Andrew were going to the movie theaters. They were going to see
“Because of Winn Dixie.” In the middle of the movie, Jenny’s dad heard a terrifying
sound and he was pretty sure it was not from the movie.

Andrew looked for Jenny…but she wasn’t there.

Suddenly Andrew saw a strange tall man
behind him holding Jenny by the throat!

Andrew got his cell phone out and dialed
911!

  Andrew said to the police, “ Help me my daughter is getting murderd by a
strange tall man. Come to the movie theaters immediately!”

Jenny’s dad knew Tae Kwon Do but he forgot
how to use the moves.

The strange tall man ran away with Jenny.

The strange tall man went in his car, and
took Jenny with him.

The police couldn’t find him.

The strange tall man went inside his house
with Jenny. He gave her a cup of something and said, “Drink this it will make
you feel better.”

Jenny drank it and was hypnotized. The man
ordered Jenny to kill her father!!

The strange tall man said, “Go find your
father and kill him! Do it now!”

Jenny said, “I will find my father and
will kill him with this large pointy knife!”

The strange man said, “Your father is at
your house calling everybody in the neighborhood.”

Jenny said, “How do you know??”

The man said, “ I have a special computer
that tells me where everybody is.”

“OH!” Jenny said.

Jenny went in the man’s car and went to
Jenny’s house. But one bad thing: she lived in a gated community!

Jenny had a great idea. Jenny said to the
guard, “You can let us in because I live here.”

The guard said, “Go in.”

Jenny and the strange man went to the
house, and got out of the car. The strange man hid behind a bush. Jenny hugged
Andrew and put the knife in her father’s back!

The strange man said, “Jenny we have to go
before your mother comes!”

Jenny saw her mother and said, “Hi Mom!”
Jenny’s Mom said, “What happened to
your father??”

Jenny said, “I have no clue what
happened!”

“What are you holding behind your back?” Jenny’s Mom took the knife out of Jenny’s hand.  “Did you kill your father?”

Jenny started running to the car in got in.
Jenny’s Mom called the guard and said, “Don’t open the gate my daughter just
killed my husband!”

The guard said, “Okay.”

When Jenny’s Father was dead, Jenny’s
Mother invited many neighbors and many relatives to attend the funeral. Many
people were very sad, especially Jenny’s Mother.

The police found Jenny and the strange man. The man went to prison and
Jenny was normal again.

Jenny’s Mother got married and had a baby and everyone was happy. Very
happy!