The Mail I Get

Update: 4/18/2005

I received a very polite and good-natured email from John Carsone asking me to please remove the correspondence from him that I posted here, since he sent it to me privately.  Just so there’s no confusion in the future, you should all know that any emails I get are fair game for my blog!

The kid who emailed me for career advice the other day sent the identical email to lots of other TV & film writers who’ve got blogs.  And we all responded. On our blogs.

Here’s another one.

We all gave him more or less the same advice. And, in doing so, taught him a couple of other valuable lessons:

1) All writers procrastinate.
2) One of the best ways to procrastinate is to run a blog.
3)
The best way to avoid writing when you have a blog is to answer
questions about being a writer when you are in the midst of avoiding
being one.

I got this email today:

Dear Mr. Goldberg,

I read the story about the woman who wanted a shortcut into the television arena. I can understand where she’s coming from on that. But how about the individual who doesn’t have 22 scripts or wants to make  the big bucks? How about the individual who has an idea that begs for a  collaborator…and you don’t know who to call (man! the theme from Ghostbusters
haunts after all these years!!!)? What if the idea isn’t a different type of children’s show? What if it is a story that is based on something Jews, Christians, and Muslims would buy into? What if it is show Oprah would love if  her staff would listen to someone who doesn’t have an agent (again? Who do you
really go to here?)? What if it is a show that NARAS would love because it would help the sales of music, and the industry would appreciate because it helps young writers showcase their talent? There are so many "what ifs" that Creed would have a run for their money. Simply put. Some guys have that place on the perch and others who want to get half way there…just don’t know how. But all it takes is just someone to reach out and give someone a chance (ah! yes, the theme from Mahogany….) Such is life…

Here’s how I replied:

I’ve answered this one so many times, I should probably just use a boilerplate.  So here’s the shorthand version. Again.

Ideas are cheap, execution is everything. No one buys ideas. What the networks are buying are scripts and proven producing skill.  BLIND JUSTICE is not a  great idea.  What ABC bought was Steven Bochco and his stellar writing/producing team doing a show about a blind cop.  It doesn’t matter whether your idea will appeal to Jews, Muslims,  Christians and lovable chipmunks.  No one cares whether Oprah, Ellen, or Biff The Talking Wonder Chimp would love your idea or not.  No one cares if your idea will revolutionize the entire entertainment industry, the American culture, and life as we know it.

No wants to hear your idea. Especially me.

I got this email today:

Dear Lee,

You are one of the rare few to have both a successful television career and an accessible email address. I am an almost out of high school  eighteen-year-old to pursue a career in TV.
Next year, I will enroll in the screenwriting program at either USC or NYU. I’ve gotten tons of  advice from guidance counselors, family members — even a chatty, slightly overzealous cab driver. I wanted to ascertain whether you believe one school has a significant advantage over the other. I’m inclined to stay on the east  coast for a few years before I make the move to LA, for what I assume will be  the majority of my working life. And I tell myself that a solid spec and good people skills are what really matter. But then I read those oh-so-persuasive articles about the SoCal-educated Josh Schwartz wunderkinds of TV. The ones who sell scripts right out of college, and are helming their own shows before they can get rental cars. And it seems they always throw in a “thanks to those Trojans!” shout out. So, If you can offer any advice, I’d really appreciate it. That cabbie made a damn good U-turn, but I’m not sure he knew a  ton about scripted television.

Here’s how I replied:

If you want to pursue a career in TV writing & producing, you should go to USC… but not because their screenwriting program is any better than the one at NYU.  It’s about proximity. Even though lots of shows are filmed in NY, the TV business is in LA.  If you want to be in this business, you’ve got to be here. Simple as that.

Here’s why:  your diploma isn’t going to get you any work.  A diploma, in the TV writing biz, means nothing. What counts? Talent, skill, personality and luck….but even that isn’t enough. You also need  connections and
opportunities, both of which are more likely to come your way here…where the TV industry is based.

That’s why I went to UCLA rather than other schools.  But most of what I learned wasn’t in the classroom. For one thing, I didn’t study screenwriting… I got an equally useless degree in Communications, so I could get a job in P.R. or advertising or reporting if I failed as a writer.

The real classroom, for me, was L.A. itself.  Because the people who write, produce, and buy TV shows are here, you
have many more chances to hear from them and meet them and learn from
them. TV writers and producers are speaking at seminars all over town. So are network and studio execs.  Not a week goes by where some experienced writer/producer isn’t sharing the secrets of his craft to the public somewhere in the city. There are regular seminars all the time at places like  UCLA, WGA, ATAS, USC, The Museum of Broadcasting, AFI, even the local Barnes & Noble (where they often have Screenwriting groups that meet and invite guests… I know, becuase I’ve spoken to a few of them). These programs are either free or  cheaper than a bargain matinee. 

Equally important are the people you meet in the audience at these seminars…many of whom have the same aspirations as you. Odds are you’ll make some friends… some of whom are likely to become writer/producers  or agents or industry execs some day…and will form your inner circle of connections in the biz. It happened to me that way. A lot of the people I work with today are people I sat with at Museum of Broadcasting seminars or in line for tapings of TAXI and SOAP (Oh God, I’m dating myself!)

The Industry, and valuable information about it, also permeate the media
here. There are  weekly programs and regular commentaries about the Industry
on our local NPR stations. Industry news and interviews with writers also get much bigger play in
the Los Angeles Times, LA Weekly, Los Angeles Magazine and other local
media than anywhere else in the country. Why? Because, as I may
have mentioned six or seven times already, the TV industry is here…in L.A, not NY.

So my advice? Buy a copy of SUCCESSFUL TELEVISION WRITING at your local bookstore, get a subscription to DAILY VARIETY, and start looking for student housing at USC.

This has been a big weekend for reader mail. I wasn’t going to post this…but then the sender posted a comment here.

Hello Mr Goldberg. I’m a fan of yours in a way. I’m actually a fan of
SeaQuest DSV/2032. the show it self maybe cancelled and maybe 10 years old. but to me I’d rather have watched seaQuest over star trek anyday. Now this is just my opinion, but me and many fans firmly beleive the show still has life, and that it still has a future, the shows quote said it the best "For
Beneath The Surface Lies The Future" well today isnt that reality? minus the aliens and pissed off gods and 100 foot crocodiles, seaQuest was actually a good show. oh by the way sorry I shoulda said this sooner, my name is  Tristen Tokarchuk. I’m the co-writer of one of the Fan fiction series based
on seaQuest 2032. Except we moved up 8 years to the year 2040, with two new Vessels, the close to 700      Meter UEO Atlantis ASV 8100, and the 500 Meter UEO SeaQuest ASV 4600III. If possible would you like to view Atlantis? If you would heres the link: http://www.geocites.com/atlantisasv. I’m also  the head writer of a realitively new fan fic series called "Enterprise DSV" based in the year 2066. i will send you some pics attached to this message
of the Atlantis and SeaQuest. I do have one quesrion though, would it be possible to get a detailed schematic of the SeaQuest DSV 4600I&II.

Here’s what I wrote to Tristen:

You obviously have a lot of energy and talent…and have devoted it to various re-imaginings of SeaQuest and Star Trek. Now it’s time for you to move on to something original, a universe that is entirely your own.  If you really want to be a writer, you should move past fan fiction and try creating your own characters, your own worlds. You will be surprised just how exciting it can be…and a bit scary, too, but that’s part of the fun of writing.

But perhaps you don’t want to be a writer. Perhaps your true calling is art and design (you certainly have the talent!).  Instead of creating new logos and ships for SeaQuest… how about creating entirely new, original vessels that have nothing to do with the look, feel, and style of the show? Create someting that exists entirely in your own imagination. I know you can do it, because the drawings you sent me certainly prove you have a lot of creativity.  Why not give it a try?

I got a response from the guy I talked about in the previous post.

Excellent Mr. Lee! Excellent!

 

That was the reponse I was looking for the first time. Thank you for your
passionate and highly intelligent response.

 

I definitely want to talk to you again when the time comes—I hate
dispassionate writers and you are not one of them! Kudos! You earned a shot when
the time comes.

 

Take Care! -ZB

Can someone translate this for me? It appears to be in English, but I can’t understand what the hell he’s talking about. And why does he keep calling me Mr. Lee??

I had this email exchange yesterday.  First, I received this note (all I’ve done is replace the names with XYZ):

How are you Mr. Lee?

WGA writer XYZ and myself are looking for a great series bible to use as a study example. He will teach with it, I will use it as a template for my own work. I am a writer turned producer and preparing a bible for a new series and our exhaustive searches via books and Net have still proven fruitless. We need to get our hands on a comprehensive bible, preferranbly one that was used  successfully to obtain network approval/and or private funding, if at all  possible. As writer with many series credits, I thought perhaps you might care to assist, if it’s within your means? Also, if you’re interested, down the line (if we get greenlighted) we will need some good writers like yourself to pitch in—I’ll let you know when we get that far.

I love it when inexperienced writers ask me a basic question about how TV works…and then as an incentive, they offer me the tantalizing possibility that if things work out for them, they might give me a job. Wow.

I replied that I had the bibles, aka "Writers Guidelines," for DIAGNOSIS MURDER and MARTIAL LAW in my book SUCCESSFUL TELEVISION WRITING and that they were also available to download for free on my website.  This is how he replied, under the subject heading "Series Bibles**** Wrong Type"

FYI–The bibles on your Web site are "writer’s guidelines" and are not entire bibles that  can be used for network submissions of a new series, etc. by a producer (which is what we need).

Here’s how I responded:

Thanks for clearing up my confusion… I guess I’ve been doing it wrong all these years.

As someone who has been a professional TV writer for fifteen years, written many network pilots, and produced dozens of TV series, let me tell you what you need.
What you need is an idea… and then you pitch that idea to a network, which will then hire you to write a pilot script. If they decide to shoot your pilot, and if your pilot is picked up as a series, the network may ask you for a  bible, also known as "writers guidelines," examples of which are in my book. In
the case of a soap opera, they may ask you for a more detailed  document explaining the
relationships between the characters and the general direction of the storylines they are involved in. A bible is not what you use to sell a series. In fact, I  have been on MANY series, and I know of many series, that have never had a bible. The most important thing is the idea… the most important document is the pilot script.

Let me go back and comment on a few things in your first email that I let slip by… you mentioned that your "WGA writer" partner is going to use whatever TV series bible you find as a teaching tool. If you don’t know what a bible looks like, or how to write one, how can you possibly teach the craft of writing one to others?

You also mention that you’re a writer-turned producer and that you  need a bible to "successfully to obtain network approval/and or private funding, if at all
possible,"  which suggests to me that you are unfamiliar with the business behind American network television. Most networks  now are producing their own series…or in co-production with major studios… you don’t have to get "private funding." A TV series isn’t a independant feature film, which appears to be the model you are working from.

I suggest that before you start thinking about "bibles" you do some more research into how the TV business works.

I received this email today from a DIAGNOSIS MURDER Fan.

I’ve heard some rumors of you (in you Diagnosis Murder Books )making Steve to be less than Mark , is any of this true? I also heard a rumor of ADULT MATERIAL in your third book , is that true ?