I Want to Hire The Ghostwriter Who Wrote My Books

The con artists at Creative Book Writers, a ghostwriting scam that offers to make your idea into a bestseller, were using my book TRUE FICTION as an example of their work. I’ve often wished my books would write themselves, but that isn’t the case. I threatened to sue them, and they pulled my book. But it’s like whack-a-mole. They still have my book up as an example of their work on many of their clone sites (a scam that Victoria Strauss investigated in detail and discusses in this excellent post at Writer Beware).
 
 
So I decided to have some fun. I visited The Book Writing Company, which claims a woman named “Patricia Johns” (pictured as a black man!) wrote Lisa Jewell and Sue Monk Kidd’s books. They pulled me into a chat.
 
Stuart Cook joined the chat Chat started

STUART: Hello, how are you doing today? Are you looking to get some Writing Assistance? Book Writing? Editor? May I know what is your book about? Autobiography? Fiction or Non Fiction.

ME: Fiction, but I am confused. I have been looking at various ghost writing services today, because I want to have a book written by the writer who wrote Lisa Jewell’s THEN SHE WAS GONE, but on your site, you say your author Patricia G. Johns ghost wrote it (though there is a picture of a black guy, also confuses me), but the Pearson Ghostwriting Service says their authors David Johnson & Julie D. Scott wrote it. So who really did? Because that is who I want to hire and I am so confused.

STUART: Hey, I did get the info. What you have just told me is the part of every fir. gf
 
ME: I don’t understand what you just wrote.
 
STUART: let me explain you. Whatever you have seen on the other sites could be the way of marketing but we never quote any fake examples to generate the sale. Also if we have written anything for the famous person so we will share the details else we won’t believe in fake marketing. Also you can share the details of the book with me. We have a team of experts with more than 150 people. they are Ph.D. qualified writers and retired professors. Once you will become our customer, I will assign a team of 4 experts on your project and you will be in communication with one of them throughout the process.
 
ME: I am still confused. So those ghost writers on the other sites are fake ones… but Patricia G. Johns, who is pictured as a black man on your site, is the real one? The woman or guy who really wrote Lisa Jewel’s book?
 
STUART: Yes she was the part of the team, usually what happens profiles like Patricia or any other senior author worked before as a part time writer with us to give management sessions , to train the young writers as a good gesture we use their pictures and details. Yes?
 
ME: So these ones are fake…?
<I sent him screen grabs of the ghost writers on the other sites that claim to have written the same books>
But this one is real?
<I sent him a screen grab of “Patricia Johns” from their site>
 
STUART: No, I am not saying that as I have told you usually what happens senior profiles join different companies temporarily to train and provide different sessions to their staff and writers.
 
ME: But Patricia and and whoever the black guy is are the ones who wrote Lisa Jewells book? I’m sorry, but I am having a hard time understanding this.
 
STUART: May i know your name and number in case we get disconnected?
 
ME: Your site and explanations are too confusing and don’t make any sense.
 
STUART: If you are willing to understand it will help

Amazing, Isn’t it? So I decided to visit another one of their clone sites, AD Ghostwriting, and had some fun chatting with “Susan Hughes,” a senior creative editor. I think you might enjoy it…and their strange logic. Their “fruit” analogy about books is especially bizarre…

Susan Hughes: Hello there ! How are you today? Are you interested in having your idea converted into a book? Would you like to discuss your requirement with Sr. Creative editor?
Visitor 7998474: I have been researching ghostwriting sites and you all seem to be identical. Vox Ghostwriting. AD Ghostwriting. Pacific Ghostwriting. Central Ghostwriting. Ghost Writing Proficiency. The same graphics, the same books you wrote. It’s all very confusing. How am I supposed to compare prices and services if you are all the same? Even your name pops up as customer service on all of them.
 
Susan Hughes: Sure let me answer that. All the fruit sellers sells their fruits on similar closets and baskets the only difference is the fruit which are from different farms. Similarly, we all look same probably to many extent but the editors varies. We are working with Ph.D. qualified editors and experts from various genres and yes one of the experts will be reserved to get this book done with a cohesive and coherent script And also will make it intriguing with top-notch writing.
 
Visitor 7998474: They also work with Phd qualified editors and somehow wrote the same books you did. It makes no sense to me.
 
Susan Hughes: They cant take the same book it isn’t possible but having PhD editors by every company is possible
 
Visitor 7998474: I know, but the sites are identical. They all claim to have written the same six books that you do.
 
Susan Hughes: If anyone has copied some book, We can file an infringement but the fact remain the same we never disclose with whom we are writing for As it always remain discreet
 
Visitor 7998474: Also, you Susan Hughes, seem to work for all of them. Are you all the same company?
 
Susan Hughes: Those books that you are seeing on my website, We have taken approval from the authors. It is not possible, like I have already answered you. If someone is using my name then they are crooks because same name can only be a coincidence.Since how long you have been thinking to do a book?
 
Visitor 7998474: I am looking at the other sites right now. They are the exact same as yours in every way. Even the statured client lists is the same! And when I visit, a chat opens up and Susan Hughes offers to help me. this is beginning to smell fishy to me.
 
Susan Hughes: I dont trust that it cant be susan hughes. can you give me the website name.
 
Visitor 7998474: Vox Ghostwriting. AD Ghostwriting. Pacific Ghostwriting. Central Ghostwriting. Ghost Writing Proficiency. Paramount Ghostwriting. The Writing Crib. I think you are all the same person trying to trick me. That doesn’t seem very honest to me. Maybe I should just write the book myself.
 
Susan Hughes: That’s not true it can never be the same. I have already given you one of the example of being identical. However we all offers 100% money back rights in case of any dissatisfaction.
 
Visitor 7998474: The fruit example makes no sense. I am not blind or stupid. I can see they are the same sites with different names. If you can’t be honest with me, I can’t do business with you.
 
Susan Hughes: You can only be stupid if you don’t take that example seriously. Now dont say that I cant call someone stupid.
 
Visitor 7998474: Paying you to write my book requires trust. How can I trust you if you start off by insulting my intelligence? A book is not an apple. You can’t all have written the same six books.
 
Susan Hughes: Lets get down the business take that example seriously and let’s work together. A book is an apple. it just taste differents there are plenty of books just as apples. the categories are countable too just like an apple, it can either be life story, fiction or non fiction
 
Visitor 7998474: Either you wrote BURN BRIGHT by Patricia Briggs or you didn’t. Either you wrote ALEX CROSS by James Patterson or you didn’t. They aren’t categories. They are individual book titles.
 
Susan Hughes: They are termed as life story books
 
Visitor 7998474: What??
 
Susan Hughes: I meant obviously not these 3 books but what clients bring us is either from the above 3 category
 
Visitor 7998474: If you don’t know those books are novels, not memoirs, then you definitely aren’t the right writers for me.
 
Susan Hughes: I have corrected my statement above already. We can argue as longer as you want me to but you know that nobody can take your money and run away you always can dispute if any situation arises
 
Visitor 7998474: I want my book to be written by the writer of Patricia Brigg’s BURN BRIGHT. You all claim to be that writer. That is not possible.
 
Susan Hughes: being a US citizen you should trust your own bank and work
 
Visitor 7998474: What does my bank have to do with it? Why do you want to know about my bank?
 
Susan Hughes: your bank always secure you against any frauds.
so why would not you trust them. you can pay us and see the book that is getting delivered as we will be delivering it chapterwise
 
Visitor 7998474: I am not asking my bank to write my book. I want the writer of BURN BRIGHT to write my book. You all claim to have written her book. Which one of you did??
 
Susan Hughes: So at any point if you are not contended it will be refunded. Assigning the editor is our choice so you cant make a choice: Getting a professional book is our commitment.
 
Visitor 7998474: I don’t want an editor. I want a writer. I want the writer who wrote BURN BRIGHT. You say you wrote her book. Why can’t I have that writer?
 
Susan Hughes: I already answer that.There are 85 writers who work under the belt of this company. We can get you the best writer but you cant pick the writer because you are not meeting writer you ain’t seeing their profile either. So there is no point of making a selection. Not all companies will tell you that ever.
But I am honest and I am transparent and giving you all the reason to trust my team. My writing as well as editing team will be board from day one until the book has been launched. Is there any way I can have your name
 
Visitor 7998474: Well, that doesn’t sound like a wise way to spend my money at all. I think I will talk to the other Susan Hughes and see if she makes more sense.
*** Visitor 7998474 left the chat ***
I stumbled across another ghostwriting scam site, Ghost Writing Express, who claim to have written my friend Tim Tigner’s books …oh, and Anthony Doerr’s, too. So I got into a chat with them..
THEM: Hello, are you looking for a ghost writing service?
ME: I loved Tim Tigner’s books. Can I get the same writer to write my book?
THEM: Sure. Let me help you out with that.
ME: Would it be Tim Tigner?
THEM: You mean you want Tim Tigner to write a book for you?
ME: No, whoever wrote his books if it wasn’t Tim Tigner. I want the same guy.
THEM:
ME:
THEM: He wrote his books himself, but yes, we can match the quality for sure.
ME: I’m confused. You said I could get the same writer. I want my book to be just like his.
THEM: Let me guide you through that.
ME:
THEM:
ME:
THEM: The original draft was done by Tim and given to us for a thorough edit, proofreading, and cover design.
ME: Great. I’ll ask Tim for a recommendation and get right back to you.
THEM:
ME:
THEM: Sure thing.
ME: Please hold.
THEM:
ME:
THEM: You know him?
ME: Yes, I’m texting him now. Please hold.
…and I was disconnected.

If you’re looking for a way to procrastinate, I encourage you to chat with these imbeciles, test our one of your characters on them by conversing in their voice. It’s fun. My brother Tod can’t stop doing it.

10 thoughts on “I Want to Hire The Ghostwriter Who Wrote My Books”

  1. Always a great deal to hire Ghostwriters from a company that doesn’t even have a good grasp on the English language!

    What a hoot!

    Reply
  2. I bet they would do the same good job helping you keep the IRS agents from coming to get you. They should really get better English teachers

    Reply

Leave a Comment