The Publishing Cart Before the Storytelling Horse
I wish I could take credit for that headline, but it belongs to Chuck Wendig. He makes a very good point in a recent, and controversial, blog post about the obsession self-published authors have with striking it rich, boosting their rankings, voting on tags, etc. and how little attention they pay to the really, really, REALLY important part…
In self-publishing, I see so much that focuses on sales numbers and money earned, but I see alarmingly little that devotes itself toward telling good stories. After all, that’s the point, right? Selling is, or should be, secondary. The quality of one’s writing and the power of one’s storytelling is key. It’s primary. It’s why we do this thing that we do. Any time you hear about the major self-publishers, it’s always about the sales, the percentage, the money earned. What’s rare is a comment about how good the books are. When the narrative was all about Amanda Hocking, everybody was buzzing about her numbers, but nobody I know was buzzing about how good those books were. Focus less on the delivery of the stories and more about the quality of what’s being delivered.
The problem is, if more self-published authors did that, they'd have to acknowledge how insanely awful most of the "indie" stuff really is. Josin L. McQuein, one of the commentors on Chuck's post, summed up the problem perfectly:
…self-e-publishing is a lot like the atmosphere on a fanfiction site. It’s mostly garbage, and everyone reading it knows that. Among that garbage, there are pockets of gold and diamonds that, if found, will draw readers. (I wouldn’t be at all surprised if some of the more popular fanfic authors make a serious go of self-e-publishing. They’ve got a built in audience that can be tens of thousands strong in the larger fandoms.) The trick is, someone has to find those pockets of precious material and pass the information along. It doesn’t always happen. If you’re going to self-e-publish, then TAKE YOUR TIME. If it takes you weeks, months, or even a year to write your book, then why would you undermine all of that time and effort by rushing through the final steps of the process? If you’re going self-publish, then don’t handicap your novel by not making it the best you possibly can.
In other words, don't put the publishing cart before the story-telling horse.
The Avengers, a Quinn Martin Production
Here’s the first fifteen minutes of the busted pilot ESCAPADE, producer Quinn Martin’s awful attempt to do an American version of THE AVENGERS.
Now You Can Finally See REMAINDERED
Last September, I wrote & directed the short film REMAINDERED in Owensboro, Kentucky with a great cast (Eric Altheide, Sebrina Siegel, Todd Reynolds and Lisa Baldwin) and a terrific crew on a $1500 budget.
Our film has played at the Beaufort International Film Festival, the Myrtle Beach International Film Festival, the Beverly Hills Shorts Festival, the Traverse City Shorts Festival, The Big Island Film Festival, and the Derby City Film Festival, where Sebrina Siegel was selected as a finalist for Best Actress.
We also picked up some incredible reviews along the way, like these:
"REMAINDERED was such a hoot. I loved everything about it and had so much fun. More awesomeness from Lee Goldberg," Sara Gran, author of "Dope" and "Come Closer."
"This may be the only time you’ll ever hear the dictate 'Read to me' uttered quite so seductively. Telling more about Goldberg’s plot would spoil its many criminal and comic delights. […]REMAINDERED may not be a mammoth Hollywood production, but Goldberg-has invested no less attention in its crafting because of that," J. Kingston Pierce, The Rap Sheet.
"REMAINDERED is brilliant! Hilarious, suspenseful, with booksigning sequences that induce PTSD… bravo!" Barry Eisler, bestselling author of "Hard Rain."
"REMAINDERED is terrific," Ken Levine, Emmy-award winning writer/producer of "M*A*S*H" and "Cheers."
"REMAINDERED is great facial exercise for writers. It makes us laugh and cry at the same time," Thomas Perry, bestselling author of "The Informant"
"One of the wiliest short stories I've read in many years. Really laughed my ass off when I read it. The short film based on it is equally excellent. Lee Goldberg at his very best," Ed Gorman, author of "Trouble Man."
"REMAINDERED was so well done on some many levels," Naomi Hirahara, bestselling author of "Blood Hina."
"A most enjoyable mini-feature. Professional all the way from screenplay to actors to direction. I must say I also laughed at all the touches of wry comedy. Lee Goldberg has the goods," William Link, Emmy Award winning writer/co-creator of "Columbo" and "Murder She Wrote"
"REMAINDERED is a hoot, a low budget production with a big heart and exceptional values, a twenty minute film that keeps you holding your breath until it explodes with laughter," Paul Bishop, author of "Twice Dead" and host of the ABC reality series "Take the Money and Run."
"The story was great and the actors were outstanding," Joel Goldman, author of "No Way Out."
"I loved REMAINDERED!" Daniel J. Hale, co-author of "Red Card."
"Very entertaining. Hard to believe it was directed by a first-timer. And I loved the soundtrack," Matt Witten, writer/producer of "House," "Medium" and "Law & Order."
"I enjoyed REMAINDERED immensely," Hal Ackerman, author of "Stein Stoned" and co-chair of the screenwriting department of the UCLA School of Theater, Film and Television
"One of the highlights of Bouchercon – the world mystery convention – was watching Lee Goldberg's independent film REMAINDERED. If it comes to a film festival near you, don't miss it. It rocked the house," Julie Kramer, author of "Silencing Sam."
"A marvelous script. Haven't heard that much out loud laughter from an audience in a long time," Robert S. Levinson, author of "Ask a Dead Man."
"Really well done and hilarious," Sheila Lowe, author of "Written in Blood"
"This twenty-minute film is funny, sharply observed, and very well put together. It might be a low-budget production, but it doesn't look it. The actors are having fun, and Goldberg gets the most out of every shot," Bill Crider, author of "Outrage at Blanco."
"Stinging and accomplished…the tale is as well-turned as you'd expect from a pro and it takes imaginative flight from a reality that'll be recognized by anyone who has ever faced the world over a stack of books at a signing table," Stephen Gallagher, author/writer/creator of the hit BBC TV series "The Eleventh Hour."
Now that a year has passed, and I'm preparing to shoot the sequel in Owensboro in early 2012 as a co-production with Riverpark Center and Firelight Entertainment Group, I thought it was time to finally share the film with everyone.
So here it is. I look forward to hearing what you think of the movie!
Where You Lived
My brother Tod's latest collection of short stories, Where You Lived, is now available on the Kindle and the Nook, with a cover by my sister Linda Woods. The collection includes "the stories behind the stories," a peek at how his provocative,unusual, and ingenious tales were written. It's a steal at $2.99.
Please buy it so he doesn't have to pimp his wife on the mean streets of Indio in order to pay his staggering air conditioning bills.
The Rave Verdict for The Jury
Bruce Grossman at Bookgasm has given THE JURY SERIES a rave review. Here's an excerpt:
This four-book collection, THE JURY SERIES, is straight-up men’s adventure material. Don’t expect complex plots; these were all about body counts and vengeance, and there is plenty of both to go around. Originally credited to Ian Ludlow, they were actually Goldberg in disguise — a mild-mannered college student testing out his writing muscle.[…] Goldberg holds nothing back in this one, that’s for sure. Bodies pile up real quickly, proving Macklin is not one to screw with. This collection recharged my love for the genre.
Thanks so much, Bruce!
The Tired Procedural
Ken Levine reveals on his blog today the tired formula behind most of today’s procedural crime dramas. Here’s an excerpt:
[The hero] must have some supernatural power. He or she can read minds, has an amazing photographic memory, can remember every lunch he/she ever had, is a math whiz, or the most common – can see Fairy Tale characters.
But with this gift must come a curse. They must be tortured emotionally. They must have a dark past. Their wife/sibling/child/imaginary friend has been killed and they’re still haunted by it.
They’re only helping the police solve crimes as a way to better get in touch with resolving the unsolved circumstances of their dark past. The killer is still out there! But only week one and the season finale. Otherwise, it’s business as usual. Solving crimes and tossing off zingers…
For the rest, check out his blog.
The Mail I Get
Here are some genuine emails that I have received over the last few weeks regarding my MONK books. I've removed the names of the authors to save them embarrassment.
Email #1.
Can I write books for "Monk", too? I think a second perspective would be appreciated by the fans. Please let me know who to contact at your publishing company.
Email #2.
Would it be okay with you if I write MONK books if I go to a different publisher in a diferent country? Please email me ASAP at your convenience.
Email #3.
what happened to Mr. Monk's wedding ring in the photo on the cover of the new novel, Mr Monk and the Couch? This needs to be corrected right away.
Email #4.
You need to write some Monk books from Sharona's perspective set before Natalie showed up because she's a bitch. If you won't do it soon, I will have to stop buying your books..
The Mail I Get
Apparently, as an author, I have an obligation to society to be a creative writing instructor and agent at large for anyone who has written a book. Here's an excerpt from an email I got today:
[…]I haven't been able to get my novel published. Several notable editors and agents who have seen it were, in their rejections, very complimentary about the writing quality, the plot, etc., etc. Maybe this was just professional courtesy, though it felt authentic. I think they just didn't see massive commercial potential, or a referral from a big name.
I do think it's a good book and should be published. And I wonder what you think.
XYZ is an off-off-beat detective novel. That is, I think it's off-beat in unusual ways, and "on beat" as well. I hope you'll read it, send me your thoughts on it and, if you really love it or greatly respect it, volunteer an effective connection that could get it published or filmed.
The manuscript of the novel is attached.
Keep in mind, this lady is a complete stranger. Here's how I replied:
Thank you for your note and your kind words. I'm afraid I just don't have time to read your book and give you comments. I have a novel due on Nov. 1, and I just signed a 12-book deal with Amazon that requires me to deliver a book-a-month. Yes, you read right, a book-a-month. I also do not feel comfortable reading books-in-progress by people who a) aren't close friends or family or b) students of mine in a class, so I have deleted your manuscript unread. I hope you understand.
It's not a book in progress. It's complete.
So I wrote her back:
Yes, I understand that. What I mean is, it's not a galley of a book that's about to be published. It's an unsold manuscript…and you want a critique, which I don't have the time to do. Nor is it my practice to read unpublished manuscripts sent to me by strangers.
Again, she still didn't get it. She replied:
That's not really what I was after. I don't need a critique. But never mind. Thanks anyway.
No, that's exactly what she was after. In fact, she wanted that and more. She wanted me to stop what I am doing to read a book from a total stranger, evaluate it, and then pass it along to all the contacts I've made in publishing and film.
I've certainly done that before…the difference is, it's been for family, friends, or students of mine. People that I know, that I have a relationship with, personally or professionally. But who is this woman to me? Nobody.
It just astonishes me how incredibly presumptuous some people can be.
Now, if you will excuse me, I have a manuscript to send to Stephen King that I'd like him read, give me his opinion on, and then send to his editor and his contacts at Dreamworks. We've never met, but that doesn't matter. He owes me. I've read some of his books.