I've lost count of how many people have tagged me for this "25 Random Facts About Me" meme. So here goes:
1. When I was a pre-schooler in Oakland CA, I ran away from home, showed up at the door of the Mormon temple, and asked if Shirley could come out to play.
2. I'm a Lee Hazlewood fan.
3. I had a girlfriend who was an editorial assistant at Playgirl. I honed my skills writing sex scenes by writing fake "Letters to the Editor" for $25 each.
4. My favorite BBQ place is It's In the Sauce in Ventura, Ca.
5. When I'm sick, I like to lie in bed and watch old episodes of "Gunsmoke."
6. I wrote my first novel when I was ten. It was about a superspy from the future who was born in an underwater sperm bank. I don't know why it was underwater, or how you made deposits, but I thought it was pretty cool.
7. I love Nacho Cheese Doritos.
8. My favorite James Bond movie is "Goldfinger."
9. I've broken all but one limb…so far.
10. When I was five or six, I used to tell people my name was "Lee Beaudine." I don't know why. 
11. When I was a kid, I once threatened to send my little sister Karen to prison for picking apart my Nerf ball. She was so terrified that she gave me all the money in her piggy bank to buy her freedom. I still feel guilty about that.
12. My middle name is Brian.
13. The ugliest city I have ever been to is El Paso, TX.
14. Until I was about 25, I spent two weeks every summer at Loon Lake, Washington.
15. I love the theme to "It Takes a Thief" but I can't hum it.
16. I had a crush on Linda Carter when I was a kid. She was my Wonder Woman.
17. I think Harry Whittington is one of the great, unappreciated authors of noir.
18. When I was a kid, I used to collect Wacky Packs. I thought the cards were hilarious.
19. One of my all-time favorite books is "Lonesome Dove" by Larry McMurtry.
20. I've seen Roger Moore naked.
21. I like to read Motor Trend and the National Inquirer on airplanes. This embarrasses my wife.
22. I can't spell marriage, similar, or envelope.
23. I wrote two episodes of "The New Adventures of Flipper."
24. I once flagged down a cop on Jefferson Blvd. to alert him that a homeless man was "playing a twisted game of Russian roulette" by running into traffic. The cop actually asked me to repeat that without imitating the ABC announcer's voice.
25. I owned a Chevy Chevette.
Speaking as someone who has never written comedy and presumes that he is funny, I refer you to this line:
“22. I can’t spell marriage, similar, or envelope.”
It would have been funnier, but perhaps too obvious, if you had misspelled those words.
Let me guess…dictionary.com helped you with that one?
I have fulfilled my daily quota of horning in on someone else’s writing and suggesting changes, so now I depart. 😉
My dad grew up in El Paso, half my family lives there and I’ve visited many times. I’d love to call you an elitist bigot but I’m afraid you’re right.
Lee – About number 20… um… I’m a little speechless. And a lot worried.
I have news for you. You also can’t spell Lynda Carter. But I won’t tell anyone if you tell us more about number 20. Roger Moore was MY childhood crush.
As regards #13, if you think El Paso’s bad, you should really see Decatur, IL. A depressed, decaying urban center surrounded by life-sucking suburban landscape, all in the middle of nothing but cornfields as far as the eye can see . . . just ugly, in more ways than one.
1. In the English town of Shirley there’s a Chinese take- away called the SHIRLEY TEMPLE…
22. Dyslexics untie! (what does DNA stand for? National Dyselxics Association…)
I haven’t been to El Paso, but I bet you haven’t been to Mexico, Lee! The people are the best, really warm and friendly, but they have no sense at all of civic beauty! Guadalahara, in particular, gets my vote for ugliest town.
There are so many words I just can’t spell by the word “manouver” gets me every time. I have no idea if I spelled it right or wrong!!
I should have said “Ugliest American city.” I have been to uglier foreign locales.
I’m glad you never adopted a Lee Hazlewood mustache.
Wish I could say the same about myself.
I loved Hazelwood’s duet’s with Nancy Sinatra. His nicotine addled voice added character to an otherwise vanilla performer.
Hey Lee,
Every day for the last couple of weeks at some point in the day I indulge in a guilty pleasure. I read Ken Levine’s blog, and then yours. Today I read Ken’s blog which had to do with glimpsing Beyonce’s nipple. I smiled at the comments and then went on to your blog. I scrolled down to find something I hadn’t already read and found your 25 things about me…which I loved. #24 made me laugh out loud. I thought about commenting on you seeing Roger Moore naked, then saw that several people already had, so I let it go. The problem is, about 10 minutes later I actually HAD THE THOUGHT, I wonder if his nipples were as nice as Beyonce’s? You guys are warping my mind. LOL (thanks) Karen