I absolutely love my brother Tod’s "Letters to Parade" feature on his blog. I never miss it … even now, while I’m toiling in Berlin (he really has to gather them all together into a book). Today’s edition was so funny, I almost wet myself:
Exhibit B: Dan Travers of Cincinnati, Ohio. Mr. Travers,
you insipid fucktard, I ask you: When was the last time you saw a bunch
of 65 year olds performing A Chorus Line?
When A Chorus Line returns to Broadway next month, will it feature any members of the original 1975 cast?
Dan, they are all returning. Even though they are collectively 1239
years old, the entire original cast is planning on stuffing their
sagging appendages into the leotards once again to reprise their roles
from THIRTY ONE FUCKING YEARS AGO. What is wrong with you, Dan? I mean,
really? Where’s the disconnect between reality and whatever it is
you’re living in? Is there anything you did especially well in 1975
that you’d want people to see you doing today? Even the writer of A
Chorus Line, James Kirkwood, is dead. Do you want him to reprise his
And that’s just a sample of the fun and frolic awaiting you at Tod’s blog today.
20 thoughts on “Fistful of Laughs”
You Goldbergs have a perverted sense of humour.
Coming from a pervert (who advocates kiddie porn), I’m sure they will take that as a compliment.
2:46 AM and I am laughing like an idiot at Tod’s rant. If Parade goes out of business, half of my life’s best laughs will vanish.
Your brother rocks, dude!
The Parade letters page is like a continuation of the Sunday comics. The only thing funnier is reading the letters-to-the-editor in my local paper.
He’s no doubt right, but I’ve seen Donald O’Connor and Mitzi Gaynor dance their dogs off while on the shady side of 60.
Hello! You’re missing a hell of a discussion on one of the other threads.
Leave Dan Travers alone. He’s been an absolute wreck since we locked him in the basement at work with no light and only the rats for companionship.
And we took his stapler.
Yes, we are cruel here in the Queen City.
And Dan’s a fucktard who reads PARADE. That’s why we locked him in the basement.
Thanks for letting me know, but I’m following the discussion and especially lost_erizo’s very sensible arguments almost daily. I even wrote a comment, letting her know that dear Chadwick is a chick not a man, and most likely another incarnation of Claire and Charlotte of past notoriety, but Lee deemed fit to delete it. 😉 I wonder why…. hehehe
“Coming from a pervert (who advocates kiddie porn), I’m sure they will take that as a compliment.”
Hey there, Claire/Charlotte/Chadwick! Running out of sockpuppets?
I deleted it Kete for many reasons, one being that you’re wrong. I’ve met Chadwick at a signing in Walnut Creek….he’s a real person.
“I deleted it Kete for many reasons, one being that you’re wrong. I’ve met Chadwick at a signing in Walnut Creek….he’s a real person.”
Then it’s about time to start a hormone treatment – that “guy” sounds and behaves like a typical American girlie-girl.
Well, now we all know just what Kete really thinks of the ladies, don’t we?
“When A Chorus Line returns to Broadway next month, will it feature any members of the original 1975 cast?”
Why is that such a stupid question? The question isn’t about whether all the cast members are returning the same roles – just whether any of them are returning.
The character ‘Zach’ could easily be played by a 50 year old – the whole point of the character is that he’s an EX-DANCER. Having him played by the actor who played pretty-boy ‘Greg’ (a young dancer) in the original would add a nice touch.
It’s a common enough technique in the TV & movie world to include actors from earlier versions.
Hell – some plays have gone for longer than that with the same actor. Chaim Topol recently toured in ‘Fiddler on the Roof’ playing the role that he’s first played over 35 years ago.
There are plenty of examples of genuinely dumb questions to use without having to stretch this one …
I saw “A Chorus Line” at the Schubert Theatre in NYC many years ago. I don’t remember any dancers over the age of 30 in that show. 50 would be impossibly decrepit, methinks.
You ever seen A Chorus Line, Mac? It’s about young NYers trying to make their way on Broadway. Yes, there’s an ex-dancer, but he’s not 75. He’s more like 30. Granted, here in Palm Springs there’s a thing called the Follies where old ex-stars of the stage and screen perform on stage, but you know who goes to see that? People from the Dakotas, people who do google searches for Granny Porn and fucktards. Fucktards, Mac. Now, of course, you can say I’m not doing hard enough work rooting out the dumb questions in Parade, but you’d be wrong. It’s god’s work that I’m doing here, people, and god hates old people in A Chorus Line.
“It’s about young NYers trying to make their way on Broadway. Yes, there’s an ex-dancer, but he’s not 75. He’s more like 30.”
C’mon – Robert Lapone played the part of ‘Zach’ when he was 43. Someone who was 18 in 1975 would only be about 49 now.
Why would it be impossibly ridiculous to think that a (shock-horror) 49 year old actor could be cast in a role that used to be done by a 43 year old actor !?
I saw a local production of ‘A Chorus Line’ about three or four years ago. I have no idea who played ‘Zach’ (and a quick google didn’t help) but I seem to recall it was someone in their late 40s. Perhaps that’s why I have this heretical idea that an ex-dancer could be played by a 49 year old.
(PS: Todd – Sorry to hear that you are stuck doing God’s work. Why can’t you ask Him to do His own work instead of expecting you to do it? Just ‘cos He did a big job for 6 days in the beginning doesn’t mean that He can slack off now …)
“Why would it be impossibly ridiculous to think that a (shock-horror) 49 year old actor could be cast in a role that used to be done by a 43 year old actor !?”
Because he’s 49, not 43. I mean, 43, you can still see your 30’s way back in the rearview. 49? That’s just old, man, really old.
That’s like waiting until you’re 17 to lose your virginity.
Er… Not that I would know about that.
What I mean is…
Never mind. I gotta go feed Dan before he writes another letter to PARADE. I heard him say something about That Smug Bitch. At first I thought he meant his doctor, but now I’m worried.
Come on, don’t underestimate the power of ridiculous 70s nostalgia, especially if you’re from New York. Spike Lee did a whole movie about that, Summer of Sam. If the whole original cast of A Chorus Line came to London, I’d pay $15 or $20 to see them hobble around the stage (though it would be in I-Can’t-Believe-I’m-Acting-Like-A-Lemming sort of way.)