I got this email today. It’s so, um, unique that the only way to do it justice is to reprint it in full.
Dear Mr. Golberg,
If you don’t delete this e-mail like I probably would,
I would like to ask you a question.
I have just completed my first book.
I Started this project with absolute unhappiness concerning a turn of events in
our society, and my idea to write about that unhappiness was helped along with
the encouragement of a friend of mine, and now it is a book. My original
intention was to do what the book suggests, but I found myself 1-million dollars
short of it happening.
To make a long story short, I was beyond words
unhappy with the unsettled massacre of Nicole Brown Simpson, and her boyfriend,
Ronald Goldman. I have written what I believe is the closest thing the world
will ever appreciate concerning justice in this matter.
I of course do
not know what your opinion of this matter is. You may think O.J. Simpson is
innocent. If that is the case, please stop reading this e-mail now, and continue
having a great life.
If on the other hand, you feel like I do…that
this injustice should not be forgotten, then continue reading. I have written a
book that is about 99% complete. It may have some subtle redundancies, and need
some fine-tuning, but I have worked over a year and a half on this book…24-7.
I usually got up at 3:00 am to go into work early to complete it, to my soon to
be ex-wifes angst. I guess few people understand writers…nuff said.
just do not know what to do with it. I understand your writing skills, and I
believe you understand obscure fiction. I have just ordered a copy of your book,
"The Walk" and I am sure from the description I have read that you are one of
the few people who may understand my writing style. I have recently submitted my
manuscript to LULU.com for self-publishing.
My question is this; I do not
have the resources to find a literary agent at this time, and I want this book
to be published before O.J. dies, which would in essence be a tragedy as far as
the book is concerned. Can you suggest a literay agent to me that I may offer my
manuscript to that would appreciate this form of vigilante justice? It is
pseudo-psych0-fiction, and hard to explain. I would be honored to send you my
entire book to take a look at if you so desire. I guarantee you you will not be
Thanks for your time.
Why do I get emails like this? I have to say, I am a loss as to how to respond to this one. Any suggestions?