Month: April 2005

Your Great Idea for a TV Series

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I get asked this so often, that I suppose its worth answering the question yet again. I received this email today:

In my search for bible writing info, I came across your site and read the ongoing discussion about series bibles.   I’m a beginning writer and have come up with what I think maybe a very good idea for a television series. The only series bible I can find is for He-Man and it’s hard to relate that to
what I’m writing.   I’ve found only tidbits of information about what is
included in a bible. I really want to know how a bible is structured – what to
put in and leave out.  I know you’re an experienced writer with an understanding
of all the formats of television, books and film.   I’d be extremely grateful
for any information you could give me – websites, books or just an email with helpful info.

I replied that I have several bibles, also known as writers guidelines, available on my website and in my book SUCCESSFUL TELEVISION WRITING. That said, it’s a complete and utter waste of your time to write one. Networks and studios don’t buy bibles… they buy scripts and they buy experience. Ideas are cheap, execution is everything. No one cares about your idea. No one is interested in hearing it. No one will buy a series from you until you have established yourself as a writer. Stick the idea in a drawer and wait until someone at a studio or network approaches you and says "Hey, have any great ideas for a TV series?" That’s the hard truth.

UPDATE 4-13-05:  I got a response this morning from the person who posed the question. Here it is:

Thanks for the sobering message.  Is that true for everything? Even animated comedic
television shows?

Yes. There’s a saying in TV… ideas are cheap, execution is everything. What the networks are buying aren’t ideas, they are buying the people who  execute the ideas (their experience, reputation, etc.). A series about homicide  cops in NY isn’t a great idea… Steven Bochco doing a series about homicide  cops in NY is. They bought Bochco, not the idea. A season of a TV
series costs $50 million — they aren’t going to entrust that money to someone who doesn’t have the experience to pull it off. I know what you’re thinking… I’ll pitch my idea to someone with experience and they can sell it. The thing  is, the people with experience want to sell their own ideas because, for years,
they have been toiling on other people’s shows, itching for a chance to do something of their own. Besides, creating your own show, and owning a piece of it, is where the money is.   
Why would they want to share that with you?

In the case of an animated comedy show, the creators have usually proven themselves, and had great success,  elsewhere…either with animated shorts, features, games, comic books, etc. Matt  Groening had a hit comic strip… and then a series of hit shorts on TRACY  ULLMAN SHOW….and that led to THE SIMPSONS.

Hard Placement

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I saw FEVER PITCH today and, to give you an idea how involving the film was, the only bit that sticks with me was the prominent placement of George Pelecano’s book HARD REVOLUTION in a scene. It was displayed on a high school secretary’s desk, full cover forward. I wonder whether the publisher paid for this product placement, or if Pelecano is a friend of the Farrelly Brothers (who directed the movie).

A Romance Blogstorm

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I don’t read romances, but I love reading my sister-in-law Wendy’s blog about the field. It turns out Wendy has the Goldberg family touch for creating controversy. The other day, Wendy wrote about her disappointment  with Romancing the Blog, a blog of web columnists who explore  the romance genre.

I love the idea of RTB. I want the excitement I felt at first to
continue. No, actually, I want there to
be a reason for that excitement. When
RTB launched it quickly became my first web stop of the day. I couldn’t wait to see who posted and what
they had to say. Now it’s something I
get around to, more from habit that interest. Sylvia’s post
about the online romance community was the first column that held my attention
in…I can’t remember when.

I don’t expect the earth to move
everytime I click on a blog, any blog.  But, with all possibilites RTB promises,
I expect them to deliver more often than not.  That’s it. The almost unvarnished truth.

Her post seems pretty tame to me, but it apparently sparked a blogstorm of controversy and led  novelist Alison Kent to reveal herself as one of RTB’s anonymous founders. Helen Kay writes today about the brouhaha (don’t you just love that word? It’s like a diabolical villain’s laugh…"Today, Mr. Bond, I will rule the world! BrouHAHA!").

Congrats to Wendy for
having the guts to blog about RTB even though she knew it put her butt on the
line.  She’s a grown-up and can speak for herself but I do want to say something
– despite what some comments have suggested, she didn’t do it just to be
controversial.  She did it because she is excited about the concept of RTB and
wants it to be successful and, yes, sometimes that means RTB needs to be
controversial too.  She pointed out it also needs to be diverse and relevant and
interesting.  Constructive criticisms not snarkiness.  She is allowed to have an
opinion and should be able to do so without having her motives questioned.

Now I think it’s time for Wendy to talk about fanfiction, vanity presses, the LA Times Book Review, and people who call themselves "pre-published authors."

Another Day in FanFic

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Meljean Brook readily admits that her DC Comics-based  fanfic is a violation of copyright…but that she writes them anyway.

The first question is: isn’t it illegal?

Yes. There’s no
getting around that. I am using copyrighted characters, and using them
to write stories. The characters are owned by DC Comics, the copyrights
are current and valid….

And yet I wrote them anyway.

Don’t I have any sensibilities?
Any notion of right and wrong? Any inkling of what it is to own a
character? Why copyright infringement is a horrible thing to do?

The answer is: Yes. I do. Stealing ideas and claiming them as my own is the worst form of plagiarism.

I
don’t claim them as my own—I know exactly where the credit for their
creation lies. Did I write them? Yes. Do I own them? Nope. Anyone who
wants them can have them.

Does that little disclaimer at the
beginning of every fic that says "I don’t make any money from these"
absolve me of responsibility? No, I still violated copyrights.

So if she has so much respect for copyright, why did she do it? Because she simply couldn’t help herself.

Using someone else’s character and making that character behave in ways
the creator/copyright holder would never have condoned/conceived is
revolting. How dare I write about Batman and Wonder Woman becoming
romantically linked? How dare I write a slash fiction parody involving
Batman and Superman?

The answer is: I didn’t know what else to
do. I’m a writer—I may not be a very good one, but it is what I do.
When Batman and Wonder Woman grabbed a hold of me, they didn’t let go,
and I had to write it. There were stories in my head, and I told them
on paper like I do every other story in my head.

And because I’m a geek, and because I had no one else to talk to about this, I put it on the Internet.

I’ve heard a lot of inane justifications for writing fanfic, but this is the winner. She knows she’s using characters that aren’t her own, that she’s disrespecting the authors right to control their own creations, but none of that really matters… because she’s "a writer," so she had no other choice but to write the story and post it in the net.  She had to do it. It was an undeniable compulsion.

Because she’s "a writer."

No, Meljean, you’re not. You don’t have the slightest inking of what it means to be a writer or any respect for other writers.  A writer creates characters and stories  and respects the creative rights of his colleagues. You are a plagiarist. A creative parasite. To call yourself "a writer" to justify your creative theft and Internet publication of your work disrespects every real writer you steal from.

Now I know what you’re going to say…"I used fanfic to learn my craft. I am a writer now. A professional writer. I have a novella coming out from Berkley and I’m working on a novel.   So there!"

Uh-huh.

So why do you still proudly post all your fanfic on your site? A real writer would have more respect for her peers. A real writer — an adult —  would know better.

Grow up already.

Things Not to Say in a Creative Writing Class

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My Brother Tod lays out the five things students shouldn’t bring up when discussing each other’s work in his creative writing classes. I like #4:

4. The word theme. See motif. And then get your head out of your ass.
Who cares about theme? I mean, really, when you walk into Barnes &
Noble, do you say, "I’d like to find a book today with a really good
theme," or when you see an ad on TV for a new movie like, say, Sahara,
do you immediately begin wondering about how cool the theme will be?
No. No you don’t. Do you know why? Because it is bullshit you learned
in high school because your teacher was lazy. I had a student last
quarter that I rather liked personally, but her story suffered because
she kept talking about getting the metaphor and theme right, until
finally I said, "Who gives a fuck about theme and metaphor? Let’s see a
show of hands." No one raised their hands — well, okay, one person
did, but she dropped the class with two weeks left, so she doesn’t
count — and I said, "No one gives a fuck about theme and metaphor
except high school English teachers." I then remembered, uh, yeah, she
was a high school English teacher.

By the way,  the total Fuck Count in the entirety of Tod’s post (ie the number of times the word fuck appears) is:  6. The Fuck Count should not be confused with the Fucktard Count, since fuckard is an entirely different word.

To Pitch or Spec

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If you’re a professional screenwriter with a great idea for a movie…should you go out and pitch the idea or write it as a spec? Traditional wisdom is that you’re better off writing it. But  screenwriter (and WGA Board Member) Craig Mazin thinks otherwise.

I think pitching is almost always the way to go. Admittedly, I’m a bit biased here.  I like pitching. I
think I’m good at it, and I’ve had success doing it. Every original
screenplay I’ve ever written was first sold as a pitch. In fact, in ten
years of professional screenwriting, I have written a sum total of zero
spec screenplays…

…I pitch my original stories because I’m selling more than words…I’m
selling a total service. I want to be the man they can trust to
shepherd the story of the movie from the first draft to the locking of
the last reel. I want to be the writer they recognize as a partner,
with all of the rights and obligations that go along with that word. I
want to be someone who offers them a chance in a “what if?” and all of
the excitement and possibility that goes along with that, rather than
someone who gives them a “what it is”, and who then must struggle to
change my identity from “author of 120 pages I bought” to “story teller
of a movie I’m making”.

Personally, since I hate doing anything on spec, out of sheer laziness I would lean towards pitching instead…besides, I enjoy pitching.

The Day in Fanfic

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Helen Kaye has just discovered slash fanfic and she doesn’t get the appeal.

[The] "writing" tends to be based on existing television show characters where the
male actors are not gay on the show but where the slash writing puts them in
homoerotic relationships.  Yes, this appears to be a violation of, well,
everything.  Using other people’s characters?  That certainly doesn’t seem right
to me.  Putting these well known characters in situations that, at best, can be
described as out of context?  Well, that’s just wrong in my book. 

Meanwhile,  John Scalzi sees fanfic, even "slash" fanfic, as a barometer of success.

Honestly, though, if I were the creator of a science fiction or fantasy media
property (as opposed to a mere book author) and I didn’t find evidence of fanfic
online, I would be very worried. People don’t write fanfic if they
aren’t already so enthralled by your universe that they can’t handle the fact
you’re not producing it any faster, and are thus compelled to make some of their
own — the methadone, if you will, to your pure, sweet media property heroin… And if they’re writing slash (fanfic with sex!), chances are excellent that
you’re sucking in all of their take home pay that doesn’t go to rent, food and
cat products. It is the Buffy slash writers who paid for Joss Whedon’s boat (or
whatever other particularly silly display of wealth that he’s purchased for
himself).

You know how I feel on this topic, so I’ll refrain from comment. ..but yours are certainly welcome!

(Thanks to Wendy Duren and Jim Winter  for pointing me to these posts)

 

The Ghostly Junk Yard

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My Mom was cleaning out her garage and found a handwritten story I wrote when I was ten, called THE GHOSTLY JUNKYARD. Here it is:

One day John and Juan went to the old house with a chicken coop and old cars. The old house was supposed to be haunted. So while Juan, who was 10, and John, who was 10, were looking around, John exclaimed: "LOOK, a ghost by the house!"

Juan looked back but there was nothing. Again John yelled the same thing but again Juan saw nothing. John said it was white in the shape of a person. Hair was white and shoes and everything.

The next day as they walked by the house they both saw a ghost run behind a tree. John and Juan had a reputation as Mystery Solvers. Last year they apprehended some bank robbers in Shanty Town. So to not attract attention they kept walking.

The next day they went in to the house and found a skeleton on the floor in front of the door! It had a hole in its head. It went right through his head. They quickly took a shovel from the junk and buried him. Later they went in the old house again and went to the haunted tower. When John saw a man laying bleeding from a hole through his head, he quickly ran to get Juan. When they came back it was gone! Later they searched the room and found a trapdoor and voices came out.

It was the bank robbers they arrested last year! Quickly they turned on Juan’s tape recorder and hid it while they got the police. An hour later they came back with the police and a police man said that John and Juan should go down the trapdoor so the police could arrest the robbers.

As they went down, a guy said "It’s those two finks who shot them." But the police came down and arrested them and the tape was solid evidence. So the robbers were sent to jail and Juan and John got rewarded.

What’s interesting to me is how much that reads like the stuff my nine-year-old daughter Madison is writing. Here is one of her latest stories, IN THE DARK MOVIE THEATRE.

  On one rainy day a girl named Jenny and
her dad Andrew were going to the movie theaters. They were going to see
“Because of Winn Dixie.” In the middle of the movie, Jenny’s dad heard a terrifying
sound and he was pretty sure it was not from the movie.

Andrew looked for Jenny…but she wasn’t there.

Suddenly Andrew saw a strange tall man
behind him holding Jenny by the throat!

Andrew got his cell phone out and dialed
911!

  Andrew said to the police, “ Help me my daughter is getting murderd by a
strange tall man. Come to the movie theaters immediately!”

Jenny’s dad knew Tae Kwon Do but he forgot
how to use the moves.

The strange tall man ran away with Jenny.

The strange tall man went in his car, and
took Jenny with him.

The police couldn’t find him.

The strange tall man went inside his house
with Jenny. He gave her a cup of something and said, “Drink this it will make
you feel better.”

Jenny drank it and was hypnotized. The man
ordered Jenny to kill her father!!

The strange tall man said, “Go find your
father and kill him! Do it now!”

Jenny said, “I will find my father and
will kill him with this large pointy knife!”

The strange man said, “Your father is at
your house calling everybody in the neighborhood.”

Jenny said, “How do you know??”

The man said, “ I have a special computer
that tells me where everybody is.”

“OH!” Jenny said.

Jenny went in the man’s car and went to
Jenny’s house. But one bad thing: she lived in a gated community!

Jenny had a great idea. Jenny said to the
guard, “You can let us in because I live here.”

The guard said, “Go in.”

Jenny and the strange man went to the
house, and got out of the car. The strange man hid behind a bush. Jenny hugged
Andrew and put the knife in her father’s back!

The strange man said, “Jenny we have to go
before your mother comes!”

Jenny saw her mother and said, “Hi Mom!”
Jenny’s Mom said, “What happened to
your father??”

Jenny said, “I have no clue what
happened!”

“What are you holding behind your back?” Jenny’s Mom took the knife out of Jenny’s hand.  “Did you kill your father?”

Jenny started running to the car in got in.
Jenny’s Mom called the guard and said, “Don’t open the gate my daughter just
killed my husband!”

The guard said, “Okay.”

When Jenny’s Father was dead, Jenny’s
Mother invited many neighbors and many relatives to attend the funeral. Many
people were very sad, especially Jenny’s Mother.

The police found Jenny and the strange man. The man went to prison and
Jenny was normal again.

Jenny’s Mother got married and had a baby and everyone was happy. Very
happy! 

The Reality Impaired

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The Wall Street Journal reported last week that a new generation of hearing-impaired children are getting cochlear implants, which offers them the opportunity to hear and speak almost as naturally as people
without hearing problems. As a result, many schools for the deaf are adding seperate programs for children with the implants to teach them how to hear and speak English rather than teaching them  sign-language.

Supporters of the venerable culture built up by deaf people believe deaf chilren should get a strong grounding in American Sign Language so they can participate fully in the culture when they grow up…
…they don’t see themselves as handicapped and view implants as an attempt to fix something that isn’t broken. They especially oppose hearing parents deciding to get implants for their deaf children, believing
kids should make the decision themselves when they get older. Research shows, however, that implants work best when given to very young children, who develop language more quickly than adults.

According to the article, some in the deaf community don’t see themselves as disabled…but as an ethnic group with a unique culture and language that should be celebrated and preserved.  Cochler implants are a threat to their way of life.  The Lompoc Record reports:

Some deaf individuals
feel that technology such as cochlear implants reinforces the belief that
deafness is merely a pathology to be cured, rather than a rich culture to be
celebrated and embraced.

This just goes against common sense. Deafness is not a way of life. It’s a significant disability. Sign language is something that was created to work around the problem.
The outrage against cochler implants, and against schools  for the deaf creating separate classes geared to children who have them, strikes me as absolute insanity. I can’t believe they want to deny children the
opportunity to hear, to more easily function in the world, simply to preserve sign language…and the illusion that being deaf is like being African-America or Italian.
The deaf community should be pleased that there are finally medical advances that will allow deaf children to more easily function in the world…and that someday the technology could improve even more, someday making sign language (and the need for it) obsolete.

But some members of the deaf community aren’t the only ones with disabilities who are letting their justifiable need to promote a positive self-image cloud their common sense.
Pride is a positive thing…unless you let it blind you to reality. Some wheel-chair bound people (for lack of a better term) are outraged that "Ms Wheelchair America" was photographed standing up.
The Philadelphia Daily News reports:

Ms. Wheelchair Wisconsin has been stripped of her title because pageant
officials say she can stand – and point to a newspaper picture as proof. Janeal Lee, who has muscular dystrophy and uses a scooter, was snapped by the
Post-Crescent newspaper standing among her high school math students.

"I’ve been made to feel as if I can’t represent the disabled citizens of
Wisconsin because I’m not disabled enough," Lee said.

ABC News further reported:

The announcement of the new winner Tuesday came amid a storm of protest over
pageant officials’ decision last week to take the crown away from Janeal Lee, a
high school teacher and muscular dystrophy sufferer who uses a scooter as her
main way to get around but says she can walk up to 50 feet on a good day and
stand while teaching.

During the furor, the runner-up refused to accept the crown out of protest.
Lee’s sister, who also has muscular dystrophy and was named Ms. Wheelchair
Minnesota, dropped out of the competition in that state. And the coordinator for
the organization’s Minnesota program stepped down from her job to "stand up for
Janeal Lee."

"I no longer feel comfortable supporting an organization that instead of
working towards creating a positive change, chooses to perpetuate stereotypes
and requests its participants to hide their abilities while in public," said the
sister, 26-year-old Sharon Spring of Rochester, Minn.

The organization said candidates for the crown have to "mostly be seen in the
public using their wheelchairs or scooters."

So every time she’s in public she must be in a wheelchair or scooter? She’s supposed to hide the fact she can occasionally stand? My God, what stupidity.

There’s no doubt this woman has muscular dystrophy… or that she needs to use a wheelchair.  She hasn’t perpetuated a fraud. She stood up. Instead of castigating her, they should be applauding.  They should be thrilled that she’s able to stand…but they undoubtably see it as an attack on their way of life, their ethnicity, if a wheelchair-bound woman takes a few steps. Would they also rail against a surgery that would allow more muscular dystrophy sufferers to stand and take steps as a threat to their way of life? 

To chastise a wheel-chair bound woman for using her full range-of-motion, or parents for giving their deaf children the ability to hear, is simply wrong.

Ghost-Writing…or whoring?

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I heard a minute of an interview with Jennie Erdal, the author of GHOSTING: A DOUBLE LIFE, on NPR today. Interviewer Scott Simon called ghost-writing "as old as literature and sometimes just about as reputable as the world’s oldest profession." Is ghost-writing really comparable to being a prostitute?