Another Unfair Attack on Fanfic

jeriryanThe funny folks at Defamer got in a dig at fanfic in their coverage of the Jack Ryan sex scandal…

I have a hard-time believing Jeri Ryan is the "most favored masturbation target" in the Star Trek franchise. Are they forgetting about DeForest Kelley?

Actress Jeri Ryan, best known as Seven of Nine, the most favored masturbation target in the history of the Star Trek franchise, alleges in court papers (filed in 2000) that her ex-husband pressured her to go to sex clubs and perform sexual activities in front of other couples. Oh, and her ex-husband is Jack Ryan, the Republican senatorial candidate from Illinois. (We’ll leave it up to sister blog Wonkette to detail the undoubtedly hilarious political implications). We just hope that they managed to keep the sex hijinks in da club and away from the hotel rooms at the Trekkie conventions. It’s way too early in the morning for us to handle the image of a Republican, Jeri Ryan, a guy in a Klingon mask, and a midget dressed as a Tribble banging away in a Borgy at the Burbank Ramada Inn.

[Ed.note–We don’t want any Trekkies writing in to tell us they like to jerk off to someone more than Seven of Nine. Just redirect that energy into writing yourself a fan-fiction orgy scene with the object of your intergalactic spank-attacks. OK, another fan-fiction orgy scene.]

3 thoughts on “Another Unfair Attack on Fanfic”

  1. Back when I still hung out on the gossip newsgroups, there was this Jeri Ryan stalker named “Omar” (I think) who would post his odes to dearest Jeri every single hour, practically. We brushed him off as a crackpot, but then Jeri herself posted on the group to tell him to leave her alone–and a restraining order against him appeared at The Smoking Gun and other places:,1,7745,00.html
    That girl attracts weirdness, I tell ya.

  2. I think the vulcan babe on Enterprise is much hotter than the babe with the borg breasts on Voyager…
    And I intend to debate this fact vigorously when I visit ComicCon in San Diego later this month..
    (I’m doing a panel with Max Alan Collins and others on writing TV tie-in novels).

  3. Well, what I have to say is very simple:
    all these pretended writers SUCK! They have had many parts of the story and you should see Jolene interview when she told everything was ready, but Coto never accepted… That’s not their real production. It was made by me 25 years ago, without asking anything in return. There was a particular reason for it, reason that all those writers will never understand. I don’t mind money, I mind for peoples. Hey peoples: it’s easy to copy, but hard to do with a particular knowldge of something. When twins will come to Earth, you will understand what battle in skies means… they (as they did) will check for me, and I want to see if all Governments will give my life to them. It’s not a joke!!!


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