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Fanficcer Spoof

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The satirical site Watley Review has posted a brilliant, pitch-perfect spoof of the fanficcer attitude towards popular fiction:

A disgruntled Harry Potter fan has released a "corrected" version
of J.K Rowling’s latest installment in the series, The Half-Blood Prince,
prompting a storm of curiosity and support from many fans who disliked the
direction of the story in the book. It has also, not surprisingly, prompted a
storm of legal activity from Rowling’s publishers.

"Whenever an author puts a work out into the universe, it is no longer
their exclusive property anymore," said Mary Sue Pembroke, who is credited
as the author of the modified book. "Harry Potter belongs to all of us, not
just Rowling. She took some liberties with the story in this latest book that
really weren’t faithful to the logic of the narrative. My version is, I think
it fair to say, much more faithful to the true Harry Potter mythos."

…This is not the first time a fan has created a story based on an author’s
setting; so-called fanfiction is a popular pursuit across the internet. This
is, however, the first time a fan story has captured a sizeable portion of the
author’s audience: over 800,000 fans have downloaded the book, many openly
hostile to J.K. Rowling’s narrative decisions in the most recent book.

Scholastic Publishing has obtained an injunction against Pembroke and has
threatened a lawsuit, but has been unable to take the site offline due to a
number of overseas mirror sites…

"The only way for an author to keep a piece of writing completely their
own is to never have it published," insisted Pembroke. "J.K. Rowling,
you asked for this."

Whoever wrote this piece has a great ear for the fanficcer voice. It sounds just like  Naomi Novik and her ilk doesn’t it? It’s uncanny. For example, here’s one of  Novik’s comments:

I do understand individual authors who feel strongly that they don’t
want fanfic on their own work out there. If an author feels an intense
negative reaction to fanfic on her work, that is a completely valid
feeling. I don’t think that it obliges people to respect that feeling,
but it’s not ridiculous, it’s how she feels, and I personally do
respect that reaction out of courtesy.

"Mary Sue Pembroke" is a bulls-eye.

Character Short-hand

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TV Writer Paul Guyot talks about character short-hand or, as he calls it, character gadgets. Network and studio development execs love them.

On the new TNT show The Closer the lead character has a weakness for
junk food.

That’s it.

Take that little gadget away and that "unique" character is suddenly very
similar to several other female TV leads. But network and studio folks like
gadgets. They think it makes the character unique. It’s easy. It’s simple. And
much safer than doing something deeper, or darker, or less mainstream.

It also leads to rampant cliches. How many times have you seen the character who loves junk food? A hundred times? A thousand. I’ve lost count (I remember seeing it in the pilot for THE STRIP  a couple years ago on UPN and throwing my dinner at the TV).  How about the cop who is a slob? It was old when THE ODD COUPLE was on the air and it hasn’t become any fresher with each new iteration. But character short-hand/gadgets  gives a development exec something to latch on to…"Oh yeah, Det. Nick Waters. I get him. He’s the hard-nosed cop who actually spends his free time ballroom dancing. That gives the character depth, levels, shading. Yeah, I like Nick. He’s got an edge."

Not a real edge, or any tangible depth,  just a quirk that’s easy to grasp, that quickly defines the character for the development exec. (And not just development execs, but editors, too. How many loner cops have you seen in novels who love classic rock music, drink too much, and are estranged from their wives?) The danger is when weak writers start relying on those quirks as a replacement for developing an actual character.   And I see that happening more and more…

David Montgomery expands on Paul’s thoughts, talking about writing gimmicks in mystery novels and offers this great advice:

Gimmicks lead to a "sameness" in writing, making a particular book sound like
every other book you’ve read. As a result, gimmicks diminish the author’s
individual voice and style. They also have a tendency to take the reader out of
the story, disrupting the flow and rhythm of the book.

So here’s my piece of advice for the day: if you find yourself using a
gimmick in your writing, stop it! Be creative instead. Be original. Think about
the problem and figure out how else you can solve it. Find a way to
make the plot work, or to get the reader the necessary information without
resorting to a trick or cliche.

This Writer For Hire

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Paperback Writer (author Lynn Viehl) has posted an excellent article on writing-for-hire. It’s great meat-and-potatoes publishing info.

A publisher, packager or franchise that wants a book or books written
to their specifications solicits and hires a novelist to write them.
The writer is contracted, usually for a flat fee. The assignment can be
anything from a vague idea to a complete package including specific
plots, characters, settings, maps, themes and so forth. Wordcounts,
page counts and certain creative restrictions (like sexual content) are
also generally spelled out.

To break into writer-for-hire
work, you usually have to audition, which is a lot like pitching one of
your own novels, or the publisher may seek you out based on your
published work or a recommendation from someone who knows you and your
work…

I’m a writer-for-hire on DIAGNOSIS MURDER and MONK books. I got the DM job because I was an exec producer on the show and the publisher was aware that I was a novelist, too. So they came to me with an offer. The MONK books are being done by the same publisher…and I’ve worked on that show, too.  Writing-for-hire is a huge business and I know a lot of writers who make their living almost entirely on franchise work…

Drive By Signings

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My friend JA Konrath has been blogging from the road, keeping a running tally of all the "drive-by" signings he’s doing on his book tour.

A "drive-by" signing means you just show up at a store unannounced and unscheduled and sign whatever stock they have on hand as opposed to a formal signing, which is a scheduled event that a bookstore has arranged (and which generally means they will have lots of your books, if not customers, on hand). His book tour is built around the formal signings, mostly at independant and mystery bookstores, set up by his publisher…the drive-bys are something he’s doing on the side, taking the initiative to get as much bang for the publisher’s promotional buck as he can. A typical day of drive-bys for Joe has gone like this:

Got into San Diego around noon, picked up the rental car, checked into the slum that is the Westgate Hotel, and started the drive-bys.

Baja Books, signed 3 paperbacks.

B. Dalton on Horton, signed 2 hardcovers, 3 paperbacks.

Barnes & Noble on Hazard, signed 4 hardcovers, 6 paperbacks.

Barnes & Noble on Grossmont, signed 4 hardcovers, 8 paperbacks, sold 1.

Bookstar on Rosecrans, signed 2 hardcovers, 2 paperbacks.

Borders on Camino del Rio, signed 2 hardcovers, 6 paperbacks, sold 1.

Borders on 6th, signed 2 hardcvoers, 6 paperbacks.

Waldenbooks on Friars, signed 6 hardcovers, 6 paperbacks.

Then
I got stuck in some serious rush hour traffic, and it took 90 minutes
to get to my signing that night, at Mysterious Galaxy.

That’s lot of time, effort, and expense to sign 22 hardcovers and 40 paperbacks. But I understand what’s motivating him. Up until now, I’ve done the same thing.  Now, on the eve of two of my new books being released, I’m wondering if the drive-bys really make a difference and if there aren’t better, and more productive ways, to promote my book.  Your thoughts?

Not My Words

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I was procrastinating this morning, reading through the comments on my blog, and decided to do what an anonymous commenter in the "Hypocrisy 101" discussion did — run my name through Blogpulse.  What I found astonished me.

Naturally, there were a lot of folks (mostly on LiveJournal) trashing me for my views on fanfiction, which is fine and to be expected. But what surprised me is that on far too many occasions, I was being crucified for things I never said (and, in many cases, never would).  People were attributing to me comments that other people posted on my blog and trashing me for them.  There’s nothing I can do about it now, but the irresponsibility, laziness and stupidity of attaching my name to someone else’s opinions is infuriating and frustrating.

I was tempted to defend myself at each of those blogs or discussions, to say I never said those things they said I said, but it’s futile and time consuming and ultimately pointless. The damage is done.

I’m not sure what I can do to stop it.. I mean, I take responsibility for my views and deserve to be held accountable for them. That’s why I put my name on everything I write.

How hard is it to make the distinction between my views and those of complete strangers  –and a few of my friends, colleagues, and family — who post comments on my blog? Here’s a hint. My opinions are the ones with my name on them.  Trash me for those, not someone else’s.

UPDATE – Here’s an example:

"The number of people worldwide into a particular segment of fanfic would
probably have trouble filling a bar for a Thursday night set by your average
garage band. Those who read it are even fewer."

~ Lee Goldberg,
winner of the WTF?!YouLoseAtTehIntarweb award, 2005 ~

I don’t know which of hundreds of commenters here over the last few months actually posted that, but it wasn’t me…nor is it something I would say.

I’ve Been Used

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Author Nichelle Tramble shares this common Author Nightmare:

A couple years ago I read an interview with an author who said his
worst experience after publishing his first novel was finding a signed
copy of the book at a garage sale. The book wasn’t simply signed with a
signature but personalized to someone he thought was a close friend.
His feelings were hurt but he never had the nerve to confront the
friend about the discarded book. After awhile he convinced himself that
the book was donated by his friend’s wife or one of his careless
teenage sons.

I’ve had this experience, only worse.  I went into a used bookstore in L.A. and found a signed copy of one of my books with a heartfelt, personal  inscription to my friend…who had provided one of the cover blurbs! Try rationalizing that. And no, I never confronted the guy.