Current Affairs

LAW AND ORDER: SPECIAL EDGAR UNIT

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The Edgar Nominations just came out… and LAW AND ORDER: CRIMINAL INTENT got four out of the five "Best Teleplay" nods.  It’s astonishing to me that the judges could do that when there are so many great mystery shows out there…  THE WIRE, THE SHIELD, THE SOPRANOS, LAW AND ORDER SVU, CSI, WITHOUT A TRACE, NYPD BLUE, NCIS, THE PRACTICE, 24  and COLD CASE to name just a few.  We are enjoying a bounty of crimes shows on TV today… but you wouldn’t know that looking at the narrow nominations. Instead of celebrating the wonderful diversity and quality of  crime shows on TV today, we nominate L&O:CI four times.

It’s no mystery why it happened: the committee didn’t reach out beyond what was sent to them. Rene Balcer, the executive producer of L&O:CI, inundates the committee with cassettes of every single episode. No other show, or producer, is as diligent about submitting work as he is. He makes it easy for them.

I’m not saying L&O:CI isn’t deserving of nomination ( it certainly is) or that Rene was wrong to submit as many episodes as he could (I would, too!)  but giving the show four out of the five slots? That’s just wrong. Did the committee members actually watch any television this year?

When I’ve served on the best movie committee, we didn’t wait for the films to be officially submitted…we went out and watched every mystery/crime movie that was released on our own.  We took some initiative (otherwise the only nominees would have been the two producers who sent us their movies). Clearly the committee this year didn’t take the initiative… and it’s a shame. The Edgars, at least in TV, are less relevant because of it.

By the way, here’s a list of the shows that submitted episodes/screeners to the committee…you’ll notice more than half of the 55 submissions came from L&O:CI (16) and L&O:SVU (14).

I Hear Voices

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My brother Tod has started an interesting discussion on his blog about the role of  voice in fiction.

When someone tells me that they hear me in a book or story (fiction
only here — in my essays and columns, you often are getting unfiltered
Tod) I feel disappointed. My characters aren’t me and if you see me,
hear me in the narration, that 4th wall is broken.  I want you to hear
the narrator, whomever that might be. If it feels like I’m sitting
there telling you a story, I believe I’ve failed.

His comments were provoked by a blog posting from author Amy Garvey, who was thrilled when one of her readers "heard" her in her prose.

A friend of mine gave me the ultimate compliment recently. (Sadly,
it wasn’t about how much I look like Nicole Kidman.) She’s not much of
a romance reader, but she was interested to see what I’d written. So I
gave her my first book and got an email back which read, “It is so
‘you.’ I feel like you are sitting there telling me the story.”

Not
impressed? I was. Because what it meant to me was that beneath the
story, this reader had heard “my” voice——the writer lurking behind the
characters and the plot.

I may not agree with exactly how Ms. Garvey phrased it ( I don’t think I want the reader to sense the writer and, with it, the construction work behind the story), but I understand her being pleased that her readers heard her voice.

I think the author’s voice is important.    Some of my favorite authors have a very distinct voice that carries through all their books, regardless
of the stories they are telling or the characters they are writing about ( Larry McMurtry, Stephen King,  Elmore
Leonard, and John Irving immediately come to mind). I think that voice is part of
what makes their books special. Other authors take on the voice of their lead character, and that’s fine, too… but I don’t think either approach is technically superior when it comes to sustaining the "fiction" that the events we are reading about are real.

Scamming PublishAmerica

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Novelist Richard Wheeler pointed me to a Los Angeles Times article about a group of science fiction writers who decided to stick it to PublishAmerica, the self-publishing scam that takes advantage of aspiring authors. Professional science fiction writers have long derided the PA scam, urging aspiring writers not to submit their work to the company.

"They are the biggest and most obnoxious author mills of them all – and one of
the most successful, I imagine," said Ann C. Crispin, chair of the Science
Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America’s Committee on Writing Scams.

PublishAmerica responded by calling their detractors  "literary parasites" who "looted, leeched or plagiarized their way to
local stardom."  So the science fiction writers decided to strike back.

They gathered together to write the worst book ever written. Thirty writers each took a disconnected chapter, writing the worst possible prose they could, and not bothering to read the chapters that preceeded them.

To further test PublishAmerica’s standards, [they]
left Chapter 21 blank because one writer missed deadline.[They]  included another
chapter twice. And [they] took portions of two other chapters, ran them through a
software program that randomly reordered the words, then accepted all the spell
check and grammar fixes [their] software recommended.

The result is Chapter 34,
nine pages of disconnected gibberish that begins: "Bruce walked around any more.
Some people might ought to her practiced eye, at her. I am so silky and braid
shoulders. At sixty-six, men with a few feet away from their languid
gazes."

They called their book  "Atlanta Nights" by Travis Tea, the nom-de-plume alone should have sent up a warning sign with the morons at PA, but apparently they not only don’t read manuscripts, they don’t read the title pages, either.  PublishAmerica accepted the book and sent the authors, through their front man, an acceptance letter.

"PublishAmerica has decided to give ‘Atlanta Nights’ the chance it deserves," it
reads. A contract followed, which the hoaxsters decided not to sign after a
lawyer advised it could lead to a fraud complaint. Instead, they confessed the
hoax on a writers website.

The next day PublishAmerica rescinded the contract, with a wink that they’d caught
on. Upon further review, it  appears that your work is not ready to be published," the e-mail reads, citing  "nonsensical text in the manuscript that were caught by our editing staff as
they previewed the text for editing time." It suggested the author of "Atlanta
Nights" try a vanity publisher. "They will certainly publish your book at a
fee."

So they did.  "Atlanta Nights" can be ordered over the print-on-demand
website www.lulu.com, with proceeds going to the Science Fiction and Fantasy
Writers of America Medical Fund. Or you can  download it for free .

Buying the Last Word

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Actor Rob Schneider didn’t like  LA Times columnist Patrick Goldstein using his movies as an example of what’s wrong with Hollywood today…

It’s a funny thing, but today’s movie studios are no longer in the Oscar
business. If there’s one common thread among this year’s five best picture
nominees, it’s that they were largely financed by outside investors. The most
money any studio put into one of the nominees was the $21 million that Miramax
anted up for "Finding Neverland." The other nominated films were orphans —
ignored, unloved and turned down flat by most of the same studios that eagerly
remake dozens of old TV series (aren’t you looking forward to a bigger, dumber
version of "The Dukes of Hazzard"?) or bankroll hundreds of sequels, including a
follow-up to "Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo," a film that was sadly overlooked at
Oscar time because apparently nobody had the foresight to invent a category for
Best Running Penis Joke Delivered by a Third-Rate Comic.

Instead of just ignoring the cheap shot, Schneider bought a full-page in Variety today to fire back.

I went online and found you have won nothing. Absolutely nothing….no journalistic awards of any kind….there was, however, a nomination for an Amy Goldstein. I contacted Ms. Goldstein in Rhode Island, and she assured me she was not an alias of yours and in fact like most of the world had no idea of your existence.

Frankly, I
am surprised the LA Times would hire somone like you with so few or, actually,
no accolades to work on the front page. Surely there must be a larger talent
pool for the LA Times to draw from. Perhaps, someone who has at least won a
"Cable Ace Award."

Maybe, Mr. Goldstein, you didn’t win a Pulitzer Prize because they haven’t
invented a category for "Best Third-Rate, Unfunny Pompous Reporter, Who’s Never
Been Acknowledged By His Peers."

Patrick, I can honestly say that if I sat with your colleagues at a luncheon, afterwards they’d say "you know, that Rob Schneider is a pretty intelligent guy, I hope we can do that again." Whereas, if you sat with my colleagues, after lunch you would just be beaten beyond recognition.

I don’t think Schneider did himself any favors with that ad. It would have been more impressive if he’d actually offered an intelligent argument that countered Goldstein’s views instead of being as infantile as, well, one of his own movies.  Beyond that, all Schneider really said was:  "Fuck Goldstein. Look at me, I’m so rich that instead of licking a stamp and sending a Letter To The Editor, I can afford to buy a full page in Variety instead. Can that cheap hack  do that? I don’t think so!"

The Trek is Over for Enterprise

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Variety and Aintitcoolnews are reporting that UPN is firing photon torpedoes at ENTERPRISE, the least successful "Trek" series since the original in the 1960s (even the snoozefest VOYAGER inexplicably managed to make it for seven seasons). The show will end May 13.

"Star Trek has been an important part of UPN’s history, and Enterprise has carried on the tradition of its
predecessors with great distinction,"  said Dawn Ostroff, President, Entertainment, UPN. "We’d like to thank Rick Berman, Brannon Braga and an incredibly talented cast for creating an engaging, new dimension to the Star Trek universe on UPN, and we look forward to working with them, and our partners at Paramount Network Television, on a send-off that salutes its contributions to The Network and satisfies its loyal viewers."

All 14 of them.  Variety notes that not only have the ratings of ENTERPRISE plummeted since its premiere, this season it has been regularly thrashed in its Friday timeslot by episodes of  STARGATE SG-1, now in its 9th season (or is 10th?) on Scifi Channel.  STARGATE now holds the distinction of being the longest-running science fiction show in TV history…and ENTERPRISE holds the distinction of being "That  Star Trek show with the bad song and the hot Vulcan chick."

Tod vs The Fanficcers

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Once again, my brother Tod takes on the fanfic universe.  First he did it with his column, now he’s doing it with Letters to The Editor.  He wrote to Writers Digest this month, criticizing them for an idiotic article (then again, aren’t most of the articles in that magazine pretty lame?)  that suggested that writing fanfic might be a good way to learn how to write.  As a successful novelist and acclaimed teacher of creative writing, Tod thinks otherswise. In part, he said:

Being handed a character…isn’t equal to the organic process you must
go through to create real, living characters. Writing fiction isn’t
about getting a shorthand lesson in creativity via someone else’s
established characters; rather, it’s the process of learning how to
create vivid characters and story lines from your own minds. Writing
fanfiction to learn how to write a novel is like filling in a crossword
puzzle with the belief that someone will hand you a doctorate
afterward.

Naturally, this has pissed off a lot of fanficcers, including some folks who are writing their own Harry Potter novels. Like this woman, for instance…

Well, Tod Goldberg, I majorly disagree. To begin with, I think
fanfiction gives people the courage to write. One, because you can put
up your work in a welcoming atmosphere and not have to go through the
self-esteem destruction of trying to get published. Two, you can get
your work read by someone other than your mother. Even if you
write something and set up a web site for people to read, you’re not
likely to get the draw that you would putting up a story at a fanfic
site. Three, you don’t have to go through the very hard work of making
up a background, allowing a writer to jump write in and write!

She has, of course, just proven Tod’s point…but I doubt she noticed.  But far be it from me to dive back into that  debate again.  I’ll leave that to Tod over on his blog.

To Outline or Not To Outline

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Prolific novelist Sandra Scoppettone has hit a wall in her new book.

I think I’m in big trouble.  This novel is a mess. I’m on page 142
and not only don’t I know what’s going on, I can’t imagine writing at
least another 250 pages of this.

Nothing makes sense.  I’ve written myself into so many corners I can’t see how to ever write out of them.

If
it wasn’t so depressing, and if I didn’t have a deadline, I think I’d
junk this novel and start again.  I honestly don’t know what I’m going
to do.  I should be working right now but instead I’m doing this.

I
feel I’ve been fooling myself, thinking it would work itself out.  I
don’t see how it can.  I’ve never been in quite this position so early
in a book.

I don’t know whether she writes with an outline or not, but I’m guessing she doesn’t. Novelist Ed Gorman wishes he could outline…but can’t.

The few times I’ve managed to fix an outline on both the page and in my
mind, I was more relaxed with the writing itself. I didn’t wake up in
the middle of the night depressed because I couldn’t figure out what
next day at the machine would bring.

Novelist James Reasoner always has a vague sketch of where he is going.

Although taking off and winging it with no outline can be fun . . . if
everything works out right. These days I like a nice six to eight page
outline so that the basic structure of the book has already been
figured out before I start. I usually write these even for books where
the publisher doesn’t require an outline, just for my own benefit.

All
that said, I don’t think I’ve ever written a book that turned out
exactly like the outline. Some unexpected plot twist or character
always pops up during the writing of the book itself.

That’s the way it goes for me, too. I find the security blanket of an outline, even if I deviate from it along the way (and I do), always helps me. At least I can look at it and say, "Okay, I had an idea of where I should be going, why am I not heading in that direction? What changed? And did it change for the better?" My outlines tend to evolve as my novels do…I call them "living outlines," because I am constantly rewriting them as I write the book and usually don’t finish my outline until a week or so before I finish my book.

Sometimes it’s fun for me to go back and look at the original outline and then the one I ended up with and see at what points I went in new directions… and why. I always learn from it.

UPDATE: Sandra Scoppettone reports on her blog that she doesn’t use an outline…and here’s why:

I
couldn’t stand to have an outline.  The idea of knowing where I’m going
is hideous to me.  Anyway, I couldn’t write an outline when I never
know who did it until I’m at about page 100.  I don’t want to know who
did it when I start.  It would spoil everything for me just as if I was
reading a book and knew who did it from the beginning.  Before I start
I know who my protagonist is (in this case I know a lot about her
because it’s the second in a series) and who has been killed.  That has
always worked for me before.  And now it’s failed me.  I still won’t do
an outline.

Frankly, I can’t imagine writing a mystery, and planting clues, without knowing whodunit ahead of time.

I’m curious, fellow writers… how do you feel about outlines?

A&E’s Check Book

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A&E couldn’t afford to continue making the series NERO WOLFE, which cost them less than a million per episode…nor have they had the bucks to produce  a single,  original, weekly dramatic series since then…

…but they can lay out $2.5 million per episode for edited reruns of THE SOPRANOS. 

Is LOS ANGELES Magazine in trouble?

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Los Angeles Magazine must be desperate too boost their anemic circulation numbers. We’ve been getting subscription offers from them for years. Today we got a letter from them offering us a two years subscription, 24 issues, for $9.95, which is more than 90% off their cover price. I’m tempted to subscribe,  but I figure if I ignore them long enough, pretty soon they’ll offer to send me the magazine for nothing. That’s what Weekly Variety did.