The Desperate and the Impatient

All aspiring writers are desperate to get into print. That’s a given. I certainly was, but that was before the advent of  POD vanity presses, which prey on the "I-want-it-now" impatience that afflicts so many aspiring writers these days. These aspiring writers just don’t want to invest the time and effort that’s a necessary part of shaping their voice, their skills and their careers. Bestselling Tess Gerritsen writes about that today:

What makes a new writer today think he should be immune to that
desperation I felt?  What makes him think this is SUPPOSED to be easy?
What makes him think his very first book is going to get published — or
deserves to get published?

I’ve lost count of how many crappy novels I wrote before I got my break. Tess wrote three unpublished books before she finally sold her fourth. And she knows another writer who wrote seven books before finally selling her eighth.

Think of her desperation, her
hunger, to be published.  It had to be there, driving her, or she would
have just given up.  But she just kept going and wrote manuscript #8. And it sold. Think about that — writing seven books that don’t sell.  Would you
have the persistence to start writing #8?  Do you accept the fact that,
yes, there’s an apprenticeship involved in being a writer, a period of
training that you will be forced to undergo before you finally
understand what the craft is all about?

No, it isn’t easy to get accepted by a publisher, and get paid for
your work.  It’s a lot easier to whip out the checkbook and pay a
vanity press to print your manuscript.

That’s the real danger posed by these vanity presses — besides the emptying of a gullible writer’s bank account. The self-publishing companies are also robbing the writer of the experience that’s required to become a successful writer (and part of that is learning to deal with, and learn from, rejection).  Too many aspiring writers fall for what appears to be  "the easy way" — when, in fact, it’s not — rather than
accept the fact that their books are unpublishable and that they have a lot more work to do on their writing.  They don’t want to work. They want a book now. Or at least the illusion of one. But it’s a career-sabotaging move…not to mention stupid and expensive.

And if you can just pay to get published, where’s the incentive to hone
your craft, to study your own work with a critical eye, to polish and
polish some more?  Where’s the incentive to write books number seven
and eight and nine if each one is just going to mean you have to whip
out that old checkbook again to pay to see yourself in print?

There isn’t any. Sure, there are a handful of people who have found a measure of success self-publishing, but for the vast majority it is a financial sink-hole and a self-destructive mistake.

UPDATE 11-26-2006: Author Mat Johnson blogs about how the lure of vanity presses is ruining African-American fiction.

If I had hit my wall just three, or even two years later, all of those
self-publishing options would have been available to me. As desperate
as I was, I don’t know if I would have said no to the idea. I don’t
think I would have known to. At the time I was working on that book, I
actually considered it good enough to be published. I might have jumped
at any opportunity not to take "No" for an answer.

[…]I saw a generation of black writers fall into this
trap, authors that could have been original voices that added to the
canon, who instead became literary canon fodder. They went pop, blew
up, and then almost instantly started vanishing, their worth dwindling
with their sales.

Sadly, instead of working actively on getting better, many of this crew instead try to falsely justify the merit of their work.

32 Flavors of Awesome

Some yahooer sent me this link to a Live Journal blog post that mentions yours truly. I don’t know about you, but I think it was my brother Tod who sent it to me:

Also, totally love Tod Goldberg. He’s the brother of Lee Goldberg,
known for throwing periodic hissy fits over the existence of fanfic.
But while Lee is an asshat, Tod is a brilliant writer. His blog
is wonderful, and his short-story collection "Simplify" is . . . umm,
lots of good things that I am not qualified to elaborate on. I am
usually not a fan of straight fiction, because I hate reading about
normal people doing normal things, but Tod Goldberg is 32 flavours of
awesome.

She’s right… I am an asshat and Tod is a brilliant writer. But I’m thinner and have a lot less body hair.

Psychedelic Dorothy

Variety is full of interesting movies-to-TV series  and TV series -to-movies news today.

First off comes word that NBC is developing a TV series version of the movie THANK YOU FOR SMOKING, which was based on the Christopher Buckley novel of the same name about a lobbyist for the tobacco industry.

Peacock version of "Smoking" is being developed as a single-camera
laffer focusing on Nick Naylor, the superstar spin doctor who, as
played by Aaron Eckhart in the movie, did PR for big tobacco. TV take
will pick up where the feature left off, with Naylor running his own
firm.

The SciFi Channel is doing a new, six-hour mini-series version of THE WIZARD OF OZ, only this time as a dark, science fiction tale called TIN MAN from writers Steve Mitchell & Craig Van Sickle (THE PRETENDER), with whom I worked long ago on the Cannell series COBRA.

"Our goal is to take ‘Wizard of Oz’ to the next level and make it
relevant, modern and fresh to a new generation," said Dave Howe,
general manager of Sci Fi Channel. The producer is Robert Halmi’s RHI
Entertainment, which produced a previous mini for Sci Fi, the 2004
"Legend of Earthsea."

[…]Using adjectives such as psychedelic, twisted and bizarre to describe
"Tin Man," Sci Fi said the mini turns Dorothy into a young woman named
DG, who finds herself plunged into a netherworld called the Outer Zone.
Other celebrated characters are reimagined in "Tin Man": the cowardly
lion as a wolverine-like creature without backbone, the wicked witch as
a sorceress called Azkadellia and the wizard as a larger-than-life
figure called the Mystic Man.

And, finally, Steve Carell is on board as Maxwell Smart and Anne Hathaway has signed on as Agent 99 in Warner Bros’ big-screen version of GET SMART, which Peter Segal will direct in March.

Give Us A Kiss

Variety reports that Anjelica Huston will direct a movie adaptation of Daniel Woodrell’s GIVE US A KISS. Huston directed BASTARD OUT OF CAROLINA and the screenplay will be written by Angus MacLachlan, who scripted JUNEBUG, so this could turn out very well for us Woodrell fans.  I enjoyed RIDE WITH THE DEVIL, which was based on Woodrell’s WOE TO LIVE ON, and was done by the same production company as this project.

Gold Medal Memories

Ed Gorman pointed me to this excellent and informative overview & history of Gold Medal books and the impact they had on American popular culture:


What if you could trace the French New Wave, Sam Peckinpah, cyberpunk,
"Pulp Fiction," "Mulholland Drive," and "Sin City" back to one business
gamble taken by a third-tier publisher in 1949? In fact, you can, and
without being guilty of too much overstatement. A little, sure, but not
that much.

While the author of the essay justifiably praises Hard Case Crime, he notes:

Excellent as it is, Hard Case Crime bears the same relationship to Gold Medal that Chris Isaak does to Elvis Presley.

That’s a great line…and not far off the mark.

The Name is Radio, National Public Radio

Many thanks to The Rap Sheet for tipping me off to this NPR piece on James Bond theme songs. David Arnold’s soundtrack album is now up on iTunes, but it doesn’t include the Chris Cornell theme song. The score is another tribute to John Barry, with lots of cues reminiscent of his classic Bond scores. That said, it doesn’t have the sheer energy or inventiveness of TOMORROW NEVER DIES or DIE ANOTHER DAY, by far Arnold’s best Bond scores. This one feels  a tired and familiar, basically a a replay of his past scores, with Arnold resorting to old tricks and an over-reliance on the melody from Chris Cornell’s song. Arnold is the only composer besides John Barry to score more than one Bond film. But unlike Barry, who seemed to take a fresh approach with each film, Arnold is one-note. Compare John Barry’s GOLDFINGER with his score for, say, ON HER MAJESTY’S SECRET SERVICE. There’s a distinct character and sound to both films, even though they are both unmistakeably Barry scores. But now compare Arnold’s score for THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH with CASINO ROYALE. They might as well be the same film. I love how Arnold reinvigorated the Bond scores with TOMORROW NEVER DIES and evolved the Barry sound for a new generation…but perhaps it’s time to find a new composer. My vote goes to Michael Giacchino, composer of  THE INCREDIBLES (the best Bond score ever for a non-Bond film), who did for MISSION IMPOSSIBLE III what Arnold did for the Bond franchise.

UPDATE 11/17/06: Now that I’ve seen the film, I’m even less impressed with the music. The score disappoints even in context. If you’re going to do THE BOURNE IDENTITY, then go with that kind of edgier, less symphonic score. Arnold also makes the mistake of using "You Know My Name" as a substitute for the James Bond Theme throughout the movie — the conceit being that Bond doesn’t really become Bond until the end. It doesn’t work. I missed hearing a rousing version of the Bond theme during key moments in the film that seemed to cry out for it… and "You Know My Name" doesn’t come close.

Anti-Heroes

Ever since shows about a mob family (THE SOPRANOS) and corrupt cops (THE SHIELD) hit it big, we’ve been seeing a lot of attempts to do other series about anti-heroes. Most of them have been about bank robbers and thieves, and most of them have failed.

But now there’s a new breed of anti-heroes on TV. On WEEDS, we have a housewife who sells pot. On DEXTER, we have a detective who is a serial killer himself. And now comes word  from Variety that AMC is developing a series about a high school chemistry teacher who manufactures and distributes crystal meth.

Pilot script, which previously was set up at FX, concerns a
desperate man who discovers he is terminally ill and tracks what he’s
willing to do to ensure his family’s survival.

AMC execs say
they’re confident that "Breaking Bad," should it go to series, will
have the support of Madison Avenue — in spite of a protagonist who is
both a teacher and a drug maker.

"It will be much more about the
storytelling and the way we handle the material that will make it OK
for advertisers," net exec VP-general manager Charlie Collier said.
"The story is about a guy who turns to a life of crime because he’s
trying to change his life. … In the classic antihero sense, you’re
rooting for him to figure it out."

Rob Sorcher, AMC exec VP of
programming/production, said the network is willing to take more risks
because of its commitment to find "cinematic" series to pair with its
arsenal of theatricals.

Why is it when networks want to be "cinematic," they think it means going very dark? I find it especially odd considering that whenever you hear movie executives talking about dramas now, they’re saying they want projects that are as compelling as the shows on TV… where all the best drama is being done now (and why so much movie talent….writers, director and actors… are migrating to television).

Who Says Writing is Easy?

Sandra Scoppettone has written 18 novels. She must, on some level, love to write. But it seems like doing it for her is agony.

I feel like throwing the manuscript into the water and deleting all
copies on my computer and back ups.  I know I won’t.  But I wonder how
much of my discouragement is laced with my bookstore blues.

Still,
I’m on page 178 and I feel I don’t know what I’m doing, where I’m going
or who these people are.  My closest friend just told me she wishes she
had a tape to playback to me because I always say these things. 

But this time it’s real.

It’s always real. And she doesn’t need a tape playback —  all she has to do is look back at her blog, where she left virtually the same post about her last book. She’s been successful, critically and financially, as a writer. A couple of her books were even made into movies. So she’s had plenty of validation over the years that she’s really good at what she does. But it’s not enough. It never is.

But what this post proves is that no matter how long you do this, or how successful you are,  this job never gets any easier. I’m not sure what’s harder  — the writing itself or overcoming your insecurities about your writing.

I know how Sandra feels, though not quite to her angst-ridden extreme. I love to write, I need to write, and even when I am in creative hell (which is often), I am usually enjoying myself more than I am suffering… otherwise, why would I keep doing this?

UPDATE 11/10/2006:  Sandra elaborates on her feelings about writing.

Don’t Miss UNDERFUNDED

The Hollywood Reporter gave a deservedly rave review to my friend David Breckman’s hilarious pilot UNDERFUNDED, which the USA Network is quietly burning off tonight at 8 pm.  It’s about a spy for the Canadian Secret Service and it’s great fun, closer to THE ROCKFORD FILES than GET SMART.

Why is it that nothing about Canada can be taken seriously? Is it the
speech pattern that ends everything in "Eh"? The fact that the populace
seems so sweetly guileless and lily-white? The complete lack of
pretension? Whatever the case, the Great White North takes one on the
chin again in this lighthearted and surprisingly entertaining subtle
procedural spoof, a rare TV movie that plays it all for laughs.

"Underfunded"
is a production freak of nature: a movie filmed in Canada (Vancouver)
that’s actually about Canada, featuring no name stars and a scrappy,
unassuming, take-nothing-seriously tone that proves mostly endearing.
Kudos to USA for greenlighting something this far outside the telepic
norm.

Now if only USA would greenlight the series…

Another Clueless Moron

This advertisement was in Variety yesterday (click on it for a larger image): 

Varietyad

All Nick has really done with his $5000 is announce that he’s a clueless moron to all the entertainment industry executives enjoying their morning bowel movement.

But in his own way, he has performed a public service. His advertisement is actually a primer on how NOT to sell your novel, TV series, movie, game show, photography, music, or 1997 Honda Civic to Hollywood.

(Oh, and here’s a helpful hint to all the future Spielbergs, Camerons, Eastwoods and Nicks out there — before you set out to write your next book, TV series, movie, game show, song, or ad in Variety, you should know that an apostrophe S doesn’t make something plural).

I couldn’t resist checking out his site. Among his projects for future Spielbergs, Camerons and Eastwoods is a treatment for THE RETURN
FOR MAGNUM PI
, which he registered with the WGA in 1994 despite the
fact he doesn’t own the underlying rights.  Since then, he’s apparently changed his name from Nick Oliva to Nick Bold, perhaps to embrace the new boldness of his writing. I also read the first five pages of his important new book. Here’s one of my favorite passages (the italics are his):

I felt my heart pounding in an uncontrollable tidal surge of affection as we sat and laced up our skates.

And this:

She embraced herself and gracefully slid her hands down opposite arms, creating bountiful cleavage that she stared into before looking over to me, offering herself with an outward shrug of her right shoulder much the way a cat lifts its bottom.

He’s threatening to give this novel away free, but I think even that is charging too much. I wonder if Nick is a member of the Colonial Fan Force? If not, he should be.

UPDATE 11-20-06: He ran the ad again today…because there were typos on his website.  He didn’t bother to correct the grammatical errors in his ad, though. What a moron.