Blowjobs in Space

On last week’s episode of BATTLESTAR GALACTICA, we learned
that one of the heroes has been seeing a hooker and paying for sex. In and of
itself, it doesn’t seem like that big of a deal. We’ve seen characters to do
this on TV before…but can you imagine one of the noble heroes of the last four STAR TREK series or the two
STARGATE shows paying for blowjobs, much less admitting they need, want, and
have sex? I just love the way BATTLESTAR GALACTICA is taking a sledgehammer to
the boring cliches, stale formulas and
cardboard heroes that have hobbled TV scifi series for decades. 

To be fair, FARSCAPE started the cliché-breaking trend in TV
scifi, but then fell into a blackhole of hopelessly maudlin melodrama and
needlessly confusing story-arcs  that
sucked the fun out of the show and actively discouraged new viewers (for a
while, there were two versions of the lead character on two different ships…as
well as two versions of the main villain, one of whom only existed in the mind
of one version of the hero). FARSCAPE became so self-involved and groaningly
angst-ridden that even regular viewers like myself needed healthy doses of
No-Doze and Advil to make it through an episode.

BATTLESTAR manages to sustain involving story arcs, and be
gritty and dark, without losing the exhiliration and the pure fun. And, unlike
FARSCAPE, the show can deal with weighty issues and human drama without taking
itself so damn seriously.   

I think BATTLESTAR may be my favorite show on the air right
now (at least until DEADWOOD and THE SOPRANOS return).

By the way…how anyone could watch the new BATTLESTAR and still pine for the crappy, corny, campy show from the late 70s is beyond me. This is one case where the remake is far, far, far better than the original in every conceivable way.

Oops for OPs

Screenwriter John August does a post-mortem on his aborted Fox pilot OPS. His post provides a  fascinating glimpse into the world of television development.

When a pilot is announced, it shows up in Variety.  Everyone knows about it. 
When a pilot dies, it dies quietly in the corner…

… the show was announced as a “put pilot,” which means that when Fox
made the original deal with Jordan and me, one of the conditions was
that they basically promised to shoot the pilot. In reality, I’m not
sure there is such a thing as a put pilot.

In the case of Ops, there was a substantial penalty that Fox agreed
to pay in the event they didn’t end up shooting the pilot. In a few
months, I’ll get a check with a few zeroes for my trouble. Given how
much time and money it would have taken to shoot the pilot, it’s almost
certainly for the best the train stopped where it did. There’s no sense
producing a pilot if the network didn’t want the show.

Giving Your Life to TV

I was looking for something on my hard-drive and came across this article I wrote for "Written By," the WGA Journal, back when I was an executive producer on DIAGNOSIS MURDER. At the time, I’d read a number of interviews with showrunners, boasting about how they worked days, nights, and weekends on their shows. So I wrote this piece and was inundated with letters from showrunners…and lowly staff writers…thanking me for it. I thought I’d share the article with you:

There’s a strange perception among writer/producers in TV that the quality of a person’s work increases when the quality of a person’s life suffers. Of course, no one says it that way, at least not in the interviews I’ve been reading with show-runners in Written By, TV Guide, Entertainment Weekly
and other publications the last few months. These writer/producers brag about how they work seven days a week, well into the night, to the detriment of family, health and sanity, purely to maintain the quality of their shows.

They believe the one thing that separates a true writer from a hack is a willingness
to sacrifice one’s marriage and health to the show. Quality demands absolute
dedication to the series, nothing else matters.

One writer/producer brags that when he’s in production, he has no life and that he regularly, and repeatedly, calls his writing staff over the weekend to go over story points, script notes, and other issues. Clearly, there is no escape from  quality.

Another attributes his years of drug addiction to the pressure of turning out “high quality” scripts for A-list series. Now he’s no longer on drugs, is remarried, and is content working on mediocre shows… the implication being if he returned to doing an acclaimed show, he’d be jamming needles between his
toes in no time.

The show runner of a cult hit boasts that success hasn’t weakened his resolve to do his best work, that’s why he still eats breakfast, lunch and dinner at his office nearly seven days a week. Thank God. If he ate a meal with his family, his series might never recover.

I’m a show runner, and my series is in the top 20, but now I know why it’s not a cult hit. Why I don’t have an Emmy or a WGA award. Why I’m not widely acclaimed and much admired.
Because I try to get home in time for dinner with my wife and daughter.  Because I try not to work on weekends. Because I try to put my family first and my show second.

Sure, I work late some nights, even some weekends, and so does my staff. But it’s the exception, not the rule. If it wasn’t, then I think that would make me a lousy show-runner.

I guess that means I’m doomed to mediocrity. I’ll never have to worry about forgetting someone in my Emmy acceptance speech.

Actually, I think what these show-runners are saying is ridiculous. It’s trendy, sexy and hip to say you’re suffering for your craft. It’s not trendy, sexy and hip to say you’re inept at balancing your personal and professional lives.

It’s sad, not admirable, that they are holding up their misery, and the misery they demand of others, as something to be proud of. The correlation they find between addiction, marital woes, and physical distress and “quality” is merely a rationalization for professional disorganization and personal weakness.

I’ve worked for show-runners like that, and I never will again.

These people not only work themselves to exhaustion, divorce, and cardiac arrest, but demand that everyone working for them do the same. Any staffer who puts their family before The Show (ie favors quality of his life over qualify of the work) is a coward, a slacker, a hack, and worst of all, not a team player. The truth is, these show-runners aren’t demanding enthusiasm, creativity, and devotion
from their staffs, what they are really looking for is co-dependence.

It is possible to have a hit show without sacrificing everything that’s important in life. It is possible to do “quality work” and still make it home for dinner. It is possible to win the acclaim of critics and the respect of your peers without having the numbers for a good divorce lawyer and an understanding drug counselor in your rolodex.

It just doesn’t look good. It doesn’t make you sound as tough, ballsy and dedicated. Writers, in fact, like the image. The problem is that too many of them are trying to live up to it.

Flying Without a Pilot

I didn’t write a pilot this season, but this post from Ken Levine reminds me of what I’m missing… notes, notes and still more notes.

This conference call features eleven people – one more David and three Katies. These are the network notes but the lower tier (development department) notes. Once these are done to all eleven peoples’ satisfaction it goes up the ladder, usually to the middle tier VP’s. Writing a pilot is like playing Super Mario Brothers.

What Happens When the Mystery is a Mystery to the People Writing the Mystery

The Fox show REUNION was supposed to be murder mystery that spanned decades in a single season.  But the show was cancelled in November, leaving the show’s handful of fans wondering whodunit. The problem is, the writers of the show didn’t know whodunit either. Zap2it reports:

When FOX lowered the boom on
"Reunion" in late November, the show’s creator says there was no way to
resolve the show short of a full season because of how "intricately
plotted" it was.  It was so intricately plotted, in fact, that the question of who committed the murder at the show’s center was still up in the air.

That, at least, is the word from FOX Entertainment president Peter Ligouri, who on Tuesday (Jan. 17) addressed the show’s early demise with reporters at the Television Critics Association press tour.

"’Reunion’ was particularly cumbersome in terms of trying to provide an ending for
the audience," Ligouri says of the show, in which each episode represented a year in the life of six friends, one of whom ends up dead. "How [creator Jon Harmon Feldman] was laying out the show to gap those additional 14, 15, 16 years was an incredibly complex path. There were a number of options, and he didn’t make a definitive! decision on which option he was going to go with as to who the killer was, and there was just no way to accelerate that time."

Feldman himself hinted at that in a statement following the show’s cancellation, saying that solving
the mystery of who killed Samantha (Alexa Davalos) was "partially reliant on characters we haven’t yet met — and events we haven’t seen."

Ligouri says the network and the show’s team talked about several ways to go with the killer’s identity, but "the best guess was at that particular time that it was going to be Sam’s daughter," whom she gave up for adoption early in the series. The why of the murder remains a mystery.

Especially to the show’s writers, which may be why the series didn’t work. If the show’s writers didn’t even know whodunit or why, then what were they writing about? If the clues led nowhere, how did they expect the story to actually payoff in the end? Is it any surprise viewers didn’t get hooked by the mystery since it, um, actually didn’t exist?

(Thanks to Bill Rabkin for the heads-up!)

I’m Saving My Money for EMILY’S REASONS WHY NOT

I don’t understand the decision-making behind which shows get released on DVD. Take LAW AND ORDER: TRIAL BY JURY for instance. It was a bomb. Viewers soundly rejected it despite massive promotion and two cross-over episodes (with LAW AND ORDER and L&O:SVU). NBC cancelled it without even airing all of the 13 episodes that were produced. And yet, the complete series is coming out on DVD with a sticker price of $59.98. If people weren’t willing to watch the show for free, what makes the studio and retailers think people will shell out sixty bucks for it now (especially since they can catch the reruns on CourtTV)?

The Commish

I saw the boxed set of THE COMMISH at Best Buy today.  THE COMMISH was a Stephen J. Cannell crime drama that coasted along for four seasons on ABC without attracting any real attention. It was about a lovable, soft-hearted small-town police chief and family man who solved crimes and helped people in need. It was your typical, inoffensive, shot-on-the-cheap-in-Canada 90s cop show. And yet,  THE COMMISH is directly responsible for some of the most innovative and success series on television today.

COMMISH star Michael Chiklis is now the Emmy-winning lead of  THE SHIELD. 

COMMISH writer/producers Joel Surnow and Robert Cochran created 24 and are its exec producers. The staff on 24 includes Stephen Kronish, co-creator and co-executive producer of THE COMMISH, and Evan Katz, who also worked on the show.

COMMISH director Brad Turner went on to helm episodes of 24, PRISON BREAK, and BATTLESTAR GALACTICA, among many others. 

COMMISH producers Glen Morgan & James Wong went on to THE X-FILES (which was co-exec produced by Howard Gordon, who is now an exec producer on 24) and wrote & directed the FINAL DESTINATION films.

COMMISH producer David Greenwalt went on to BUFFY, ANGEL and is now on SURFACE.

COMMISH director David Nutter became one of TV’s most sought after and successful directors of pilots. His credits include SMALLVILLE, SUPERNATURAL, and DARK ANGEL (to name a few).

And what was I doing while all these folks were working on THE COMMISH? I was working right down the hall on another Stephen J. Cannell crime drama called COBRA. The staff of COBRA has reshaped television, going on to do–

Oh God, how depressing.

TV Times

This was a good weekend for TV. It kicked-off Friday with a fantastic episode of BATTLESTAR GALACTICA, which has not only become one of the best dramas on the air, it has single-handedly reinvigorated the sci-fi genre on television. It used to be all the sci-fi space dramas took their cues from STAR TREK as if it was sacred text. Not any more.  BSG showrunner Ron Moore has changed everything. He started by telling stories involving genuine characters instead of noble cardboard heroes who only do "the right thing" and never get laid.  He’s subverted every other tired cliche along the way, too (but if you miss them, just tune into STARGATE or STARGATE ATLANTIS).  You don’t have to like scifi shows to get hooked on BSG.

On Sunday, while my Tivo was capturing 24, I watched Tom Selleck in the TV movie JESSE STONE: NIGHT PASSAGE, based on Robert B. Parker’s book. Like last years STONE COLD, Selleck played an ex-LAPD cop who becomes police chief of a small, Massachusetts town. The movie was a welcome change from the plethora of procedural dramas on TV.  It was full of atmosphere and character and punchy dialogue. There were no forensics, cool flashbacks, or autopsies, just a simple crime story well told. The mystery was weak, but the other pleasures more than made up for it.

What I don’t get is why they chose to shoot the last Jesse Stone book, STONE COLD, as the first movie, and then do the first book NIGHT PASSAGE (which begins with Stone’s arrival as police chief) as the second movie. It was especially awkward since a key character in NIGHT PASSAGE is killed in both the book and movie version of STONE COLD and presumably remains alive through the next few TV movies (the next one up is DEATH IN PARADISE, the third Stone book), further confusing things.

There’s a new, fifth STONE novel coming this year from Parker and I’m eager to read it — for some time now, the Stone books have been far better than the Spensers. One of the key differences between the TV movie adaptations and the books is the creative decision to relegate Stone’s ex-wife to just a voice on the phone. I think it was a brilliant idea and adds to Jesse’s isolation.

This weekend was also the premiere of the BBC series HUSTLE on AMC. I didn’t watch it, since I’ve got the series on DVD from England months ago. The show is fine, a nice diversion, but the cons get tiresome and the episodes begin to blur into sameness.   Still, it’s nice to see Robert Vaughn back on TV again.

Press Tour Madness

The winter press tour, when the nations TV critics descend on L.A. for press conferences and parties, has started and Matt Zoller-Seitz and Lisa De Moraes are writing about the madness. De Moraes writes:

Winter TV Press Tour 2006 had not begun auspiciously.

More
than 100 of the Reporters Who Cover Television, from around the country
and even Canada, descended on Loopyville West this week to spend two
weeks discussing Ideals and the Future of Television at the gorgeous
old Ritz-Carlton, Huntington Hotel.

It was a homecoming of
sorts for the group, which for a decade had held its semiannual confab
at the Huntington, chatting up suits and celebs in freezing ballrooms
by day, dining on the networks in the Horseshoe Garden at night —
followed, weather permitting, by a little late-night viewing from room
balconies of TV celebs swimming and engaging in other activities in the
pool.

But, as with so many other beautiful relationships —
Brad and Jen, Jessica and Nick, Renee and Kenny — this one began to
crumble and about three years ago reporters decided to take their
business to a hotel across the street from a Hooters in Hollywood.
Monday night, at the National Geographic Channel Check-In Party, they
celebrated their return to the site of so many happy, happy times.

The
next morning the tour officially got underway when Billy Ray Cyrus and
his 13-year-old daughter, Miley, got up onstage to hawk their new
Disney Channel series, "Hannah Montana." It’s about a girl who, unknown
to her fellow students, lives a double life as pop singer Hannah
Montana, entertaining legions of prepubescent fans with songs written
by her manager-dad.

It’s hard to focus on Ideals and the Future
of Television after you’ve just watched a clip of Billy Ray Cyrus —
who will now try to do for the Neo-Prince Valiant with Tips and Streaks
what he did in the ’90s for the mullet — singing:

I like to sing,

I like to dance,

But I can’t do it with poopy in my pants.

Billy Ray said he swore after doing Pax’s "Doc" he’d never do another
series but decided to audition for the "Montana" role after reading the
script because "it all begins with what’s on the page."

Uh-huh.

(Thanks to Alan Sepinwall for the heads-up)

TV Execs Actually Read Books

GalleyCat reports that there seems to be a flurry of books being adapted into TV series. In addition to the midseason shows LOVE MONKEY (based on the book by Kyle Smith) and EMILY’S REASONS WHY NOT (based on the book by Carrie Gerlach), there’s more on tap. DARKLY DREAMING DEXTER (based on the book by Jeff Linsay) is being developed by HBO and YOUNGER (based on the book by Pamela Satran) is being developed for Lifetime by my friend Debra Martin Chase, who sold the same network MISSING (based on the books by Meg Cabot) and produced the book-based features SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELING PANTS and PRINCESS DIARIES.