Me Me Me

Today, I’m joining writer/producer Matt Witten (HOUSE, JAG, etc) on a four-day cruise to Ensenada on the Monarch of the Seas, where we will be talking to mystery fans about writing cop shows and crime novels. The cruise is another exciting program from Joan Hansen, winner of  an Edgar this year for her wildly successful, annual Men of Mystery seminars.  Matt is bringing along his lovely wife and I’m bringing my 10-year-old daughter Maddie.  This is the first time Maddie and I have ever gone on a trip together without my wife, and it’s the first time either one of us has been on a cruise, so it should be exciting.

I’ve stockpiled some posts that will show up here while I’m gone, but I won’t be around to clear your comments. But please go ahead and post your thoughts… I’ll get them on-line when I return on Monday.

I must be slipping into early senility…earlier today I posted an old anecdote that I’d posted on this blog only two days ago. Just goes to show you how clearly I’m thinking lately. My apologies. Next time I lazily post stale content, I’ll try to reach a little further back in the archive.

For some reason, I woke up today with a terrible allergy, so I drugged myself on Alavert and Advil, which left me feeling dehydrated and a little fuzzy-headed. But I figured that was better than going up in front of people with a waterfall of mucus spilling out of my nose, a skull-cracking headache, and watery eyes.

I had two library talks — one in the morning at McCully Library in downtown Honolulu and one at night at the brand new, very impressive library in Kapolei, an hour-and-a-half outside of the city in rush-hour traffic (as I sadly discovered).

Both talks were very well attended by incredibly attractive, amusing, and talented people who asked astonishingly smart questions  (as you may have guessed, I discovered that a surprising number of the attendees and librarians I met today are regular readers of this blog).  I even got asked about fanfic and self-publishing today and managed not to start foaming at the mouth when I replied. I stayed for two hours at McCully and at Kapolei until the building closed and the security guard began eyeing me menacingly.

Between the two events, I managed not to write a thing besides my name on a credit card receipt for a dim sum lunch in Chinatown. I’m giving up any hope that I am going to get work done here. I’ll just have to crack down on myself when I get back on Friday night…I can see a lot of LONG days ahead of me if I am going to make my deadlines on the MONK script and the MONK book.

UPDATE: For a detailed play-by-play on last night’s library talk,and a picture of me looking like a tourist in my aloha shirt, check out Lynn Raye Harris’ blog.

Yesterday we spent our time on the North Shore — we spent a few hours watching the Monster Pipeline Pro surfing event on Sunset Beach (getting mightily sunburned in the process) then we went snorkeling up in Turtle Bay. 

My evening library talk was, as my host explained, "out in the country" in the tiny town of Wahiawa. The library was next door to The House of Hair and a strip joint. Only eight people showed up, but they were
bright, enthusiastic, and asked great questions about the craft of screenwriting and the business of television. Most of all, they
really really, really appreciated me being there, which made the
librarians very happy…and me, too.

I got lost on the way back to Waikiki. Even once you realize you are going on the wrong freeway in the wrong direction, good luck turning around.  The freeway system here is terrible and just because there’s an off-ramp on one side
doesn’t mean there’s an onramp on the other.

Today I have two library talks — one in town and the other in Kapolei.  I’m going to try to convince the family to let me go to the events alone so a) they don’t have to spend half the day in libraries and b) so maybe I can get a some writing done on this trip in the few hours of free time I have between talks. We’ll see. I’m feeling very anxious about how little writing I’m doing — but by the time I get home each night, I am totally exhausted and am in bed by about 9:30.

Thank you, Tess Gerritsen. We got a $5.50 plate lunch at Kenneke’s (Shoku Chicken, two scoops rice, one scoop mac salad) and had a picnic at Waimanalo Beach, which was every bit as beautiful as she said it would be. We loved it. But I’m getting a little ahead of myself.

We started the day with fresh, hot malasadas at Leonard’s Bakery and headed for Hanauma Bay, where we spent hours snorkeling in the clear waters. We were struck by how incredibly fat the American tourists were and how thin everybody else was. Maybe it’s those malasada breakfasts. We left when all you could see in the water were other tourists.

We went for lunch at Kenneke’s in Waimanalo, home of the Fear God Power Lifting team and some darn good shave ice, too. The beach was spectacular but the park seems to draw equal numbers of tourists and homeless people, who camp in decaying cars or under make-shift tents erected amidst the pines that line the shore.

Afterwards, we schlepped back to Waikiki in terrible traffic…some caused by rush-hour congestion, the rest caused by morons (like the idiots tourists on mopeds, wearing shorts and t-shirt and no helmets, weaving in and out of traffic, steering with one hand while talking on a cell phone in the other). Once we got back to the hotel, I barely had five minutes to change before Cindy Chow picked me up and took me to the Pearl City Library, where once again I was greeted by a lively, friendly crowd and given yet another fragrant lei (I’ve been lei’d twice-a-day since I got here. Now that’s aloha).

Tomorrow we’re off to the North Shore and another library talk. I’ve also got to start writing something besides blog posts…or the next time I walk into an ABC Market it will be to pick up a job application.

It was a bright, sunny, cloudless day. Before going to my signing at Barnes & Noble, we drove to Kahala Beach and took a long walk, ogling the amazing homes.  I didn’t sell a single book at my signing (it was Super Bowl Sunday after all), but they had plenty of my books on hand, the staff was great, and I had very pleasant conversations some (non-buying) customers.  I don’t mind that there wasn’t a turn-0ut — I’m sure the signed copies will be prominently displaced and I’m telling people at every library talk to go to the Barnes & Noble if they want to buy my books.

We were met at the store by librarian Cindy Chow, who showed up in black leather astride a purple motorcycle, ready to lead my family and I on a little sight-seeing tour before my talk at the Kaneohe Library.  We followed her in our rental car. She took us up to the Pali Lookout and then down to Kailua Town, where we had a shave ice and took another walk on the beach. 

Much to my surprise, we had a crowd waiting for us at the library when we walked in promptly at 3pm. There were people of all ages there and they asked lots of good questions. I ended up staying until the library closed to answer them all (I have a feeling those books at B&N won’t be there for long). Afterwards, Cindy took us to a nice restaurant overlooking the mountains.

Tomorrow, I don’t have a library signing until the evening, so we’re getting out of Waikiki and starting the day at Hanauma Bay for some snorkeling. Cindy will pick me up at the hotel at 4 pm to make our 6 pm library talk in Pearl City (apparently the traffic here is terrible). I wonder if I’m gonna have to ride on the back of her bike…

We had to get up at 4:45 am to make our  8 am plane, so we were bleery-eyed and tired on the flight. I only managed to write four pages of my MONK book before I gave up and read a few chapters of a Shell Scott novel. The flight was comfortable though — in fact, the coach seat on American Airlines was more comfortable, and the service was far more friendly, than First Class on Continental (but no Academy Award nominees sat next to me. There was a development exec two rows over, though, reading scripts and ignoring her crying baby).

I’ve been to Oahu dozens of times…but I’ve only stepped outside of the Honolulu airport to take the Wiki Wiki shuttle to Inter-island terminal on my way to Kauai, Maui or the Big Island. So this is my first real visit to Oahu.

On our first day, we didn’t get outside of Waikiki, where there are two ABC Markets on every block. It doesn’t matter how upscale or downscale the block is, ABC is there. And if the ABCs are spaced too far apart, there’s a Whalers Market tucked in-between for good measure. The Hawaiians or the hordes of Japanese tourists must have a pathological need for over-priced groceries (we felt like we were visiting a beachside resort in Tokyo). 

Our hotel, the Outrigger on the Beach, is nice, the room is spacious, and you can’t beat the location for walking around Waikiki. In a moment, we’re hopping in the car to head out to my signing at Barnes & Noble, some sight-seeing, and then my first library talk of the week.

More later…

A heads-up to my regular readers and procrastinators…

I’m leaving Saturday for a week in Hawaii, where I will be speaking at a bunch of libraries about writing. I’ll also be working on my third MONK novel and my next MONK script so it’s very likely that, starting today and stretching into the next few weeks,  I won’t be posting to the blog nearly as often as I usually do.