VISUAL CHRONICLES, the new journaling book by my sisters Linda Woods and Karen Dinino, is the #5 bestselling crafts book in the U.S, according to Bookscan. The new numbers will be out tomorrow, and we’re hoping it makes it up to number one!
My Family
We are Family
Here’s the latest from my sisters Linda Woods and Karen Dinino, authors of the new blockbuster art/journaling book VISUAL CHRONICLES. We’re taking our family act on the road next month…but I’ll let them tell you about it:
We’ve been getting many emails about where we will be doing workshops and book signing events in the next few months.
You can meet us, eat cake, and get your book signed on
Thursday, March 23rd at Borders in Westwood,
California, from 7-9 P.M.. There will be books for sale at Borders, but if you’ve already got it, just bring it along. Rumor has it that some of the contributing artists will also be there with us this special
night~ our first Southern California book signing!Sunday, April 30th we’ll be signing our book at the Borders booth at the LA Times Festival of Books with our brothers,
Tod and Lee Goldberg
(who will be signing their own books). Here’s the thing- if you love Tod and Lee or just Tod or just Lee, you’ll LOVE us. If you can’t stand either one of them, we’re nothing like them and you’ll still
love US. We either are or aren’t just like them depending on whether or not you find them at all entertaining. Chances are if you love US, you’ll really like them, or at least Tod.
We may even sing show tunes…or at least the theme from THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY. Karen and Linda will be teaching our journaling workshop in Portland, Oregon,
this summer…more details coming soon. They’ll also be scheduling more Southern California signings as well as events in
Seattle and Northern California.
Do Mystery Novels Suck?
My brother Tod is going to get in big trouble. In a post today, he explains why he doesn’t ready mysteries any more. Because, in his view, most of them suck.
I used to read a lot of mystery novels but in the last several years
have found myself easily disappointed by the easy conventions I find in
what are acclaimed as the finest in the genre……Part of it is a craft issue: I find a lot of mystery novels lazy in
characterization and lazy in drama, relying more often on tricks than
truth…
For instance, Tod recently read the acclaimed new bestseller by a beloved mystery author:
It had plot holes on every page, as if
someone had been fisting it. I solved the mystery in the first ten
pages. The villains were stock. The hero was suitably flawed but easily
redeemed and the ending was so schmaltzy that I literally said aloud,
"Oh, come on!" I then went and looked at the reviews of the book and
was stunned to learn it was the writer’s "best book in years." That the
novel was the "finest mystery of the year." That the writing was
"superb" and evoked "Chandler." That the twists and turns of the plot
kept reviewers "constantly guessing." That the ending packed "an
emotional wallop that will keep fans chatting for months!" Had I read a
different book?
He wonders if critics and readers go easier on mystery novels because they expect less from them than they do from other literary works. He also has a problem with the stagnant character development in some mysteries.
Most mystery novels I’ve read lately feel like just another episode,
the characters stuck in a commercial break until the next book comes
out. That, certainly, was the case with the novel I read…a continuing
series character, widely loved, widely praised, widely selling and so
cliched and trite now that it makes the previous works by the author
now seem something less. It’s a bland book, inoffensive in every way,
except that it made me wonder what mystery reviewers (and readers)
truly consider classic or brilliant anymore.
While I agree with Tod in some ways (look at the lambasting I got for not jumping on the Ken Bruen bandwagon) I think there’s a big difference between a series novel — which is, indeed, intended to be like an episode of a TV series — and a standalone thriller.
Like TV shows, readers expect a series novel to be the same book as the one they read before in the series — only different. I know that sounds like a contradiction, but we TV writers do it every day. A TV series gives you the same episode week after week, year after year, but with enough differences in the individual stories to make the show seem new and fresh. Marshall Matt Dillon was essentially the same guy in 1955 when GUNSMOKE premiered as he was when the show was cancelled in 1975…and none of the relationships in his life had really changed. The same is essentially true of most other non-serialized TV series and most series novels.
Stephanie Plum, Nero Wolfe, Phillip Marlowe, Shell Scott, Spenser, Elvis Cole, Kinsey Millhone, Jack Reacher, John Rain, Inspector Rebus… none of these characters have really changed in the course of their respective series. That’s one of the pleasures and comforts of the books…you know exactly what you’re going to get when you open one up.
Can it get dull? Yeah. Can the writers get sloppy and complacent? Sure. Are readers and critics more forgiving of successful series books and the authors who write them? I think so, because the authors and their characters are so beloved. You are pre-disposed to like the book and to cut it a lot of slack (whereas someone coming to the book fresh, without having read the previous titles, might judge it far more harshly and see the cliches the long-tme reader doesn’t).
The problem, perhaps, is that too many new mystery novels these days are reading like pilots for prospective book series rather than as strong, individual novels. You can feel the writer’s burning desire to create a franchise in every paragraph. In some ways, this goes back to the earlier discussion here about creating suspense. Nothing kills a book faster for me than the sense the author is more interested in marketing and promotion than in actually creativing vivid characters and telling a compelling story. He’s looking ahead to the hoped-for series rather than concentrating on writing a fresh, powerful, and provocative book.
We Are Family
My younger sisters Linda Woods & Karen Dinino have started setting up signings and other events for their new book VISUAL CHRONICLES, which is already getting lots of enthusiastic, pre-pub attention in the crafts & hobby art world. They will be on hand at the big Craft and Hobby Association convention later this month in Las Vegas, where their publisher is mounting a splashy debut for their slick, amusing and beautiful book.
Who Is More Annoying?
My brother Tod is "the most annoying man in the blogosphere," according to seminary student James Kosub, but I’m close to stealing the title from him. And Tod is not too happy about it.
True Grit
BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN isn’t the first gay western. No sireee Bob. My brother Tod has the skinny on the others.
The Best of the Goldbergs
My brother Tod continues his "best of…" theme today, picking his favorite posts from some of our family’s many blogs. But he doesn’t really answer the big questions…why do so many members of our family feel the need to share their opinions with the world? What makes us think anybody really cares? Are we doing it merely to advertise a product or service (our books, art work, businesses, etc)? Or is it raging ego? Or is it a very public way of keeping in touch with one another?
Or is it a logical outgrowth of who we are? The fact is, I come from a media-oriented family. My father was an TV news anchorman. My Mom is a journalist and author. My Uncle was a popular FM disc jockey for many years and now writes true-crime books. My brother is a novelist and an English professor (yeah, he’s a prof now). My sisters are artists and published authors. I’ve been a journalist, author and TV writer/producer. Is it really any surprise that we all have blogs?
For Those Who Think Being a Novelist is Glamorous
My brother Tod’s Fucktards of the Year" list includes this:
5. The Various Fucktards Who Scheduled Book Signings For Me In Their
Stores And Then, You Know, Forgot To Order My Books, Put Up Signs Or Advertise
My Event.This should not be confused with the stores who simply had
distribution issues when my book went into a second printing and copies simply
were not available. That sort of thing happens when you’re wildly successful,
so, you know, how the cookie crumbles and all that. No, I mean the people who
actually booked events for me, confirmed them, confirmed that they had plenty of
books and promoted the event and that signs were "already up" and "the writing
group can’t wait for you to get to the store" and "I really loved your book,"
and who, actually, "Oh, gosh, I didn’t know you were coming. Did we speak?""Yes. Three times. Including yesterday."
"Well, I looked and all your books are out of print. Are you self
published or something?""No, all of my books are in print — in several printings, in fact —
and I just had a signing in your store across town and they had all of my books.
All of them.""I don’t know what happened then."
I know what happened. You’re a fucktard.
Sadly, he isn’t making this stuff up. I was at one those signings. Okay, two of them.
Living on the Border Between Mundane and Surreal
Tod Goldberg’s collection, "Simplify," contradicts its title: Goldberg
complicates things, in brilliant and moving ways, in stories that live along
the border between the mundane and the surreal.A young married couple
meet Jesus and the devil every holiday season (Jesus is a coffee drinker, the
devil likes German beer), and their lives are both blessed and cursed. A
dys lexic creates an all-encompassing alphabet, a distinct symbol for every
person and event in his world, evoking the language of a book in
a Borgesian infinite library. A picture of Elvis Presley bleeds, making
its owner a reluctant celebrity.Goldberg’s prose is deceptively smooth,
like a vanilla milkshake spiked with grain alcohol, and his ideas
are always made more complex and engaging by the offbeat angles his
stories take.
Streaming Goldbergs
Have you ever heard Sammy Davis Jr. sing the theme for HAWAII FIVE-O? Do you swoon when Chuck Norris sings "The Eyes of a Ranger?" Well, you’re in for a treat. You can revel in the vocal stylings of Sammy and Chuck, among others, as well as the wit and wisdom of the brothers Goldberg over at Pinky’s Paperhaus. You can stream the complete two hour interview and musical extravaganza or you can hear a 15-minute podcast version with all our really stupid comments and our worst musical selections edited out.