My Family

Our Trip – Day Seven

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Day Six of our trip was largely a traveling day… so not much to report. We were hit with hail and snow on our way out of New Mexico, preventing us from visiting the Acuma Pueblo…but we did stop at a few trading posts to stretch our legs and browse.  We ended up in Flagstaff around 5 and were able to catch the sunset in Sedona, which was beautiful. Sedona is visually stunning and far exceeded my expectations.

This morning, we returned to Sedona to take in the sights, do some shopping, and have lunch with Richard S. Prather, author of the bestselling Shell Scott mysteries, which sold tens of millions of copies in the 60s. We met at his home and had a wonderful time talking about writing,  plotting and, of course, the outrageously entertaining adventures of Shell Scott.  The one-liners in those books are priceless…for example:

Leeprathersedona"We were dancing, my client and I. But it was much more than just a dance. It was like doing the fox trot and getting your pants pressed at the same time."

We’ve been penpals for a couple of years now, and have spoken on the phone a few times, but this was our first face-to-face meeting. For me, it was a real thrill. One of the great perks of my profession is the opportunity to meet so many of the writers I’ve enjoyed, and admired, since I was a kid. I still can’t believe how lucky I am (click on the picture for a larger image).

After lunch, Valerie, Maddie & I visited the mining town of Jerome, then wandered around Sedona some more before returning to Flagstaff. Tomorrow, it’s off to Las Vegas for a day then back to L.A.

It’s been a wonderful road trip…but come Monday, it back to work.

Our Trip – Day Five

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Today we spent money… Valerie & Maddie on Indian jewelry in Old Town and I, of course, bought books, going crazy at Albuquerque’s wonderful Page One Bookstore. I left after three hours of browsing with a bunch of  signed first editions mysteries, used westerns (by Bill Crider, Ed Gorman, Robert Vaughn, Joseph West, and James Reasoner) and hard-to-find books by Andrew Coburn and Robert Sims Reid. I had a great time. It’s a good thing Page One isn’t in L.A. or I’d go broke…

Our Trip – Day Three

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P1010690Last night in Flagstaff, I wandered into Bookman’s and found a bunch of used Bill Crider and Robert Vaughan westerns in fine condition. Nothing makes a trip like finding good books. This morning we left Flagstaff around 9 (after a complimentary breakfast of biscuits and gravy at the Hampton Inn) and headed east for Albuquerque. Along the way,  we took a peek at the famous La Posada Hotel in Winslow AZ (a desolate, decaying, modern-day ghost town), made the obligatory photo-opportunity stop at the Wigwam Motel in Holbrook (that’s my wife Valerie and my daughter Maddie in the photo, which you can click to enlarge) and toured the Petrified Forest National Park. We stopped for lunch at the El Rancho Hotel in Gallup, New Mexico and made it to  Albuquerque by 5:30 for a sunset stroll through Old Town, which was closed and deserted for Easter. Tomorrow,we’re planning on revisiting Old Town, taking the aerial tramway up to the snow and having dinner with my friends Aimee & David  Thurlo, authors of the Ella Clah novels.

Our Trip – Day Two

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P1010663I’m on-the-road with my family, driving from L.A. to Santa Fe. Tonight, I’m writing to you from the lobby of Hampton Inn in Flagstaff, AZ.  Yesterday, we drove along a narrow, twisting, forgotten stretch of Route 66 through Oatman, an old mining town, where wild burros roam freely down the dusty main drag.  Here’s the weird thing:  a good chunk of the DIAGNOSIS MURDER novel I turned in last month takes place in Oatman and on that stretch of Route 66…which I described without ever having been there.  It turns out that what I "imagined" was pretty close to the reality. Who says you can’t just make things up? On the way out of Oatman, we visited a gold mine (my daughter loved it) and spent the evening in snowy Williams. This morning, we headed out to the Grand Canyon under cloudless, bright blue skies….then drove into Flagstaff on Hwy 189 through snow-covered woods. We had the road almost to ourselves and stopped along the way for a snowball fight.  Tomorrow, we set out for  Gallup,  NM with stops at the Petrified Forest and  the Meteor Crater. (Click on the photo for a larger image)

LitNazi Questionnaire

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On his blog, my brother Tod fills out the questionnaire the Citizens For Literary Standards are sending to candidates for the Blue Valley School Board in Overland Park, KS. His answers to their  self-serving questions makes for good reading… which, of course, means it would be banned if these "citizens" had their way.

The Citizens for Literary Standards, you may recall,  seek to "inform parents and the community about poor quality literature and vulgar subject matter (profanity, sex, occultism) in  graded reading assignments."  Books these LitNazis want to ban from high school include such "poor quality literature"  as ALL THE PRETTY HORSES, ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST, BELOVED, LORDS OF DISCIPLINE, CATCHER IN THE RYE, OF MICE AND MEN,  and I KNOW WHY THE CAGED BIRD SINGS.

It makes sense to me. As we all know, reading CATCHER IN THE RYE has turned generations of Americans into Satan-worshipping, drug-addicted, sociopathic liberals. 

 

Frankenstein & Ally

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Frankensteinandally_1Tomorrow, I’ll be signing "Diagnosis Murder: The Waking Nightmare" at Mysteries to Die For in Thousand Oaks, CA with that famous author, Madison Goldberg, who is touring to support her new bestseller, "Frankenstein & Ally and other Scary Stories." She’ll also be signing copies of her previous blockbustersRobotfighting_1 "The Adventures of Kitty Wonder:  Robot Fighting" and Lotsofkilling"Adventures of Kitty Wonder: Lots of Killing."  In addition to writing thrilling stories, she’s the artist behind her provocative covers (click on the pictures for larger images). I’m obviously riding on her pigtails…

The Birds and The Bees

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My daughter finally asked us The Big Question…. where do babies come from… though not in so many words. More like in so many questions.

She started one afternoon last week when she was alone with my wife.

"I know babies grow in a Mommy’s tummy," Maddie said.  "But how does it get there?"

My wife gave her a very romantic version, about how a man and a woman fall in love, and get married, and from their love comes a child. Maddie wasn’t satisfied with the Hallmark card approach.

"So what does the Dad do?" Maddie asked. "Give the Mommy a special pill?"

"No," my wife said, and explained that the man has the seed and the woman has the egg in her tummy. The man gives the seed to the woman and fertilizes the egg, which grows into a baby.

"How does he do that?"

"With his penis," my wife said bluntly.  "He puts his penis in the woman’s vagina."

Maddie’s eyes went wide and she said in horror: "You have GOT to be kidding."

And that was the end of that… not another word was said… until I got home.

We were in the car, on the way to dinner, when Maddie said:  "You won’t believe the story Mom told me today."

I had an idea what was coming. "What did she tell you?"

"I’m warning you, it’s GROSS. Mom said that to make a baby, a man puts his penis in a woman’s vagina!" Maddie said laughing a little too hard. "She really said that."

"It’s true."

"I’d like the real story." Maddie said.

"That’s it," I said.

"No way," Maddie said. "Tell me the truth." 

"It’s the truth," I said and I explained again  about the seed and the egg.  I glanced in the rearview mirror and could see Maddie staring at me hard.  "I’m not kidding, honest."

"I don’t understand," she said.  "Where do you get the seed? And how can you hold it with your… thingie?"

"It’s not like a pumpkin seed or an apple seed," I said.

"I don’t get it," she said.

So I explained about sperm while my wife squirmed in her seat, afraid I was going to go into too much detail.  She didn’t have to worry. I wasn’t ready to go into any more detail, either…unless pressed.

"Is it hard to get the seed into a lady?" Maddie asked.

"Oh yeah," I said.

My wife stifled a giggle.

I braced myself for more questions. And to my great relief, and my wife’s, Maddie decided that was enough for one night.

But there’s always tomorrow…

My Sisters’ Book

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Here’s a sneak peek at the cover of VISUAL CHRONICLES, the new book by my sisters, Linda Woods and Karen Dinino (click on the image for a larger picture). The cover is missing a few things… like their names… but they are very happy with it. VischroncoverxThe book comes out,  and the great sibling book tour begins, in February ’06…