How Hated Am I?

I got this email today:

Do you realize that EVERYBODY in fandom hates your fucking guts you asshole?

I think it was from my Mom, but I’m going to answer it anyway. No, I had no idea. So, for fun, I thought I’d take a look at what some people are saying. Here’s a sampling:

From Jocelyn’s Other Desk:

Thy lips rot off, Lee Goldberg!  Thou jarring, fat-kidneyed scullian!  You speak an infinite deal of nothing!  […] Goldbergs one and all, thine sole name blisters our tongues.  Thou hath more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs.

From Nobody Knows Anything Blog:

I understand the impulse to write and read fanfic—you want to live in
this wonderful world as much as you can, and twenty-four hours a year
or one book every two years or whatever just isn’t cutting it for you.
There are several novel series that I am forever hoping will just happen to have a new installment at the bookstore every time I check. But
fanfic is like a steak dinner made out of meringue—might look the real
thing, but it’s not really going to fill you up.

From Dawn Rivers Baker’s Blog:

You know, it’s all very well to nitpick about the legal shimmies and shakes of fanfic,
but the legal stuff doesn’t cover what it must be like for the author
who feels violated by other people dipping their fingers into the
author’s creation. All you really have to do to "get" the author’s perspective is to ask a victim how it feels to have just been raped.

From Nick Mamatas:

Mystery writer and TV producer Lee Goldberg picks up a stick and whacks a hornet’s nest by taking on fanfic.
I have no dog in the fight; after all, what can I say? NOBODY had
better RIP-OFF my ORiGINAL CHARACTERS like … uh … Jack Kerouac and uhm Cthulhu and William S. Burroughs and and and…
However, I do like a good brawl, especially when everyone is so
obviously speaking past one another. "It’s illegal!" "It’s a hobby!"
"It’s illegal!" "It’s a hobby!" Haven’t these people ever heard of an
illegal hobby before? They sure seem to be acting like they run their
neighborhood meth labs.

Read more

Tod on Walter Scott

The best reason to read my brother Tod’s blog is his hilarious weekly dissection of Walter Scott’s Personality Parade column. I open the Parade magazine that comes bundled with my LA Times each Sunday trying to guess which stupid questions and inane answers are going to become the topic of Tod’s blog post. This week’s column was tough to guess, because it was a goldmine of inanity. You can see the questions that Tod tackled here. I knew he’d pick the Desperate Housewives question, but I was surprised he let this question-and-answer go:

I was surprised that Kenny Chesney was at the Academy of Country Music Awards without his new bride, Renee Zellweger. Where was she? Stella Wilson, Charlotte N.C.

The pair prefer to say out of each other’s spotlight, so Zellweger,36, was not in the audience last month in Las Vegas when Chesney, 37, was named Entertainer of the Year. (Our sources say she was at the hotel next door, but Kenny’s rep would only tell us "Renee was busy elsewhere"). The actress did attend a party afterward with her hubby.

Care to correct the oversight, Tod? 

Do I Read Everything?

I got this email today:

I’ve written several comments on your blog and you’ve never responded to any of them. Do you read all the comments on your blog?

Sadly, no. If a post gets five or six c0mments, I might read them all. But in general, I usually browse the comments on a blog entry of mine for the first day or two after I post it and then I move on. It would take way, way too much of my time to keep up on all the comments posted on all my blog entries… especially when the numbers of comments on the fanfic posts can number in the 100s (there have been 5308 comments posted on my blog in the last 14 months).  Besides, the blog comments often spin off into other topics or become personal squabbles between anonymous strangers who have nothing to do with me.

Holly Lisle Says No to Fanfic

Novelist Holly Lisle promises to prosecute anybody who circulates  fanfic based on her work because "fanfic writers demonstrate not just blatant disregard for, but
active antagonism toward, the wishes of individual authors on this
issue."

UPDATE (6-24-05) Holly posted this as a comment on another blog entry:

"Ten years ago, I was, if not wildly supportive of the idea of
fanfic, at least tolerant of it. A few fans asked if they could write
fanfic using my characters, I told them they could as long as they
understood that they could not publish it and that I owned all rights
to the characters, and that under no circumstances would I be willing
to read what they’d written.

Times changed, associates started having to take legal action
against people who were writing in their worlds without permission, and
I asked my fans to please discontinue writing fanfiction in my worlds.
Which they did.

There were some fanfic writers posting in these threads who said
they would respect the wishes of authors who stated clearly that they
didn’t want fanfic written around their characters or worlds.

So obviously there are still some decent people like my fans who are
writing fanfic, and I feel badly about having to post a harsh notice
informing all fanfic writers that under no circumstances will I condone
any fanfic set in my worlds, and that any such writing that IS done
will be treated as derivative work and prosecuted.

Looking at the quality of people posting here, however — people who
are actively hostile toward the creators of the original work, who hold
the rights of the original creators in complete disregard, and who
state that they don’t care whether the original creators want them
writing in their worlds or not — that they intend to do what they want
until someone forces them to stop — I’m confident that the posting of
my notice is necessary.

As for taking heat from the people who have chosen to use my
statements as an opportunity to vilify me — ah, well. They’ve also
done a pretty good job of disseminating my wishing across a number of
sites and boards, thus decreasing the chances that someone writing
fanfic in one of my worlds could claim ignorance of my clearly worded
hands-off post.

So, to all of you who have been spreading the word for me, my deepest thanks."

Novik Chimes In

Naomi Novik, one of the two "pro-fanfic" guests on OPEN SOURCE, comments on the radio show and the discussion here on her blog.
To give you a sense of the bizarre logic behind her arguments, she believes
that writing reference books about television (like my book UNSOLD
TELEVISION PILOTS)  is no different than fanfic.

And the books in the last category profit off the creations of others
*without* authorization — because legally you don’t need to have
authorization to report facts. So in the venn diagram of ‘borrowing
characters to write fiction’ and ‘use without authorization’, where
fanfic writers are in the intersection, he’s got one foot in either
camp even while he’s going after the people in the middle.

Need I say more? Okay, a little more. Here’s how she feels about authors who object to fanfic about their work:

I realized after posting, that the joking remark above might seem to
imply an insult any author who does object to fanfic. Not my intention
— I do understand individual authors who feel strongly that they don’t
want fanfic on their own work out there. If an author feels an intense
negative reaction to fanfic on her work, that is a completely valid
feeling. I don’t think that it obliges people to respect that feeling,
but it’s not ridiculous, it’s how she feels, and I personally do
respect that reaction out of courtesy.

Courtesy?? What
courtesy? She isn’t showing authors any courtesy at all. She "respects
the reaction," but not the author.  Her attitude is basically this:
Fuck JK Rowling if she doesn’t like stories about Harry using his magic
wand to have sex with everybody at Hogwarts.  Anything she writes
belongs to me to use however I see fit.

Her arrogance and stupidity is mind-boggling. Between her, and the
guy who made the "We more emotionally attached" comment
, I think you
get a pretty accurate picture of the fanfic community and how they
think. Scary, isn’t it?

(I was amused, though, but her inadvertent acknowledgement of the central hypocrisy of fanficcers. If someday fanfic is written based on one of her
novel, she won’t read..

  …any of the fanfic anyway (just not worth the
potential legal headaches), so what difference does it make to me?

That statement says so much. Fanficcers see absolutely nothing wrong with stealing the work of other writers, even if it the author of the work is opposed to it, but
would sue any novelist or TV producer they think may have stolen something from their
fanfic.  Their work should be protected, it’s everybody else’s that up for grabs…)

The Difference Between Tie-Ins and Fanfic

In a comment to my post "What Stupid About It, someone asked what the difference is between someone who writes tie-ins and someone who writes fanfic… beyond the fact that tie-ins are written with the consent of the author/right’s holder.

There’s a big difference.

I was hired to write DIAGNOSIS MURDER and MONK novels. It’s something I am being paid to do. It’s not like I woke up one morning with a burning desire to write DIAGNOSIS MURDER novels, wrote one up, and sent it off to a publisher (or, as a fanficcer would do, posted it on the web).  The publisher came to me and asked me to write them. 

I would never write a book using someone else’s characters unless I was hired to do so. It would never even occur to me because the characters aren’t mine

Given a choice, I would only write novels and TV shows of my own creation. But I have to make a living and I take the work that comes my way…and that includes writing-for-hire, whether it’s on someone else’s TV show or original tie-in novels based on characters I didn’t create. Ultimately, however, what motivates me as a writer is to express myself…not the work of someone else.

That’s the big difference between me and a fanficcer.

Given a choice, fanficcers "write" fanfic. 

More Books on UNSOLD PILOTS?

I got this email today:

I am a television trivia addict from Sydney Australia and a couple years ago I ordered copies of your books Unsold TV Pilots  55 – 76 & Unsold TV Pilots 77 – 89.I thoroughly enjoyed them and read them both from  cover to cover and then read them again. I was wondering when i can expect a third (and  maybe fourth edition) covering the Unsold Pilots from seasons 90 – 05.

I’m glad you enjoyed the books and I appreciate the kind words. I don’t intend to do another volume…nowadays, information on pilots is readily available on a number of industry databases (TVTracker.com is one). Besides, I’m
just too busy!

That said, I still casually collect the data just in case I ever do another Unsold Pilots TV special (I’ve written and produced two over the years —  THE BEST TV SHOWS THAT NEVER WERE last season for ABC and THE GREATEST SHOWS YOU NEVER SAW for CBS).

“What’s Stupid About It?”

I got this email today:

"Fan fic writers have no deadlines, networks/producers/actors to please,
and often have a better grasp on the characters and their history than
the tv writers usually because We Are more Emotionally attached."

You said that comment is stupid. I don’t get it.  What’s stupid about it?

Okay, the email is probably a fake, but I’ll treat it like it’s not.  I create the characters and the world they live in. I figure out the relationships, what they do, and why they do it. And then I come up with every single thing that happens next.  I also hire the actors,  the directors, the writers,  the set designers, the costume designers, the composer etc. etc…. and they all are charged with interpreting my vision of the  show as I see it. We all spend every waking hour making the show (and even non-waking hours…my dreams are often filled with scenes and characters from the show I’ve spent all day working on).

And somebody who merely watches the show says he has a better grasp on the characters and their history than I do? That he’s  more emotionally involved in the series than I am? The guy who created the characters, who came up with every single thing they have ever said or done or experienced?

Okay, let’s say I’m not the creator. I’m a hired gun, one of the writer/producers. I am working hand-in-hand with the showrunner to articulate his or her creative vision of their show. All I do every day is live with those characters, whether I’m writing a script of my own, rewriting someone else’s script, plotting a story, editing an episode, prepping an episode with a director, or discussing character with one of the actors. I am as emotionally involved as it’s possible to be. The show is all that I do and all I am thinking about for most of the working day…and, because I am a writer, I can’t stop thinking about it once I go home, either (even if I don’t have a script or story to write/work on every night).

And somebody who watches the show thinks he’s more involved than that? Knows more about the  characters than I do?

That’s why it’s a stupid comment.

but I can see how the fanficcer’s emotional involvement with a show is very different than the one that I have as a TV writer/producer. A TV show is something I write, something I do, it’s not my world, it’s not my religion, it’s not who I am and my reason for breathing. It’s not my obsession.  I don’t dress like the characters, wallpaper my house with their pictures, or fantasize about having sex with them.  Whe the show is cancelled (or I leave it for whatever reason), I stop thinking about the characters and their "lives." I move on creatively and emotionally to something else. There are viewers who are incapable of doing that…who become so emotionally attached to fictional characters and an imaginary world that they can’t ever let go. And in that sense, yeah, a fanficcer is more emotionally attached than I am.  Frighteningly so.

“We Are More Emotionally Attached”

Fan fic writers have no deadlines, networks/producers/actors to please,
and often have a better grasp on the characters and their history than
the tv writers usually because We Are more Emotionally attached.

The incredible stupidity of that blog comment tells you all you need to know about fanfic writers…and the tenor of the "discussion" on NPR’s OPEN SOURCE (the comment above comes from their blog). The radio show did a terrible job yesterday exploring fanfic —  and I’m not
just saying that because it was 45 minutes into a one-hour show before
the bewildered host remembered I was there. 

I think that the guests and listeners on both sides of the fanfic debate would agree that the host was woefully unprepared for the discussion.  He didn’t have a grasp of what fanfic is and seemed to be stumbling around blindly in search of a point or an angle (something his producers should have prepped him on more thoroughly beforehand). He was unfocused and, therefore, so was the discussion, which is why I’m not at all surprised by his baffling "post-game analysis" of the show on the OPEN SOURCE blog:

The poverty of fanfic is its confinement by television and what seem
the limited stock of Star Trek characters—and the bodies of Charley’s
Angels. But the courage of readers who, all along, have been
reimagining outcomes and dialogue and motives is awe-inspiring. I guess
it is just as well that we waltzed right past all those confounding
lit-crit riddles of post-modern textuality. Naomi Novick tried to tempt
us with a sweeping dismissal of authorial intent, and I cheerfully let
it go.

What is he babbling about? I was on the show and I can’t make sense out of it. By the way, I was the only fanfic naysayer invited to participate (and then only included in the discussion as a brief after-thought).  He spent the bulk of the show talking to the two dimwits who felt there’s no difference between a modern retelling of PRIDE AND PREJUDICE and STAR TREK mpreg fic (for one thing, the authors the fanficcers are ripping off are still alive)  So it’s no surprise the host ultimately comes out in favor of fanfic…or at least his blurry notion of it.

Common sense about music makes me wonder why any of it should be
copyrighted. Music is not something human beings own; it something
people love, make and do every hour of the day, socially and alone. So
much of the music I love is recreated: like Brahms’ transcription of
Bach’s Chaconne for left-hand-only at the piano, or Chucho Valdes’
reconception of Chopin’s Preludes as jazz. Up with imitation, then, and
the geniuses who can make it original.

Trekkies and Kiddie Porn

05Maclean’s Magazine investigates the revelation that a surprising number of pedophiles arrested by the Toronto Police are Trekkies:

The first thing detectives from the Toronto
police sex crimes unit saw when they entered Roderick Cowan’s apartment
was an autographed picture of William Shatner. Along with the photos on
the computer of Scott Faichnie, also busted for possessing child porn,
they found a snapshot of the pediatric nurse and Boy Scout leader
wearing a dress "Federation" uniform. Another suspect had a TV remote
control shaped like a phaser. Yet another had a Star Trek
credit card in his wallet. One was using "Picard" as his screen name.
In the 3 1/2 years since police in Canada’s biggest city established a
special unit to tackle child pornography, investigators have been
through so many dwellings packed with sci-fi books, DVDs, toys and
collectibles like Klingon swords and sashes that it’s become a dark
squadroom joke. "We always say there are two types of pedophiles: Star Trek and Star Wars," says Det. Ian Lamond, the unit’s second-in-command. "But it’s mostly Star Trek."

Neva Chonin at the San Francisco Chronicle isn’t convinced there’s a connection.

"Star Trek" fans get no respect. When they’re not being derided for
living in their mothers’ basements, they’re being mocked for studying the
Klingon alphabet. Life for Trekkies is especially tough these days, with their
television franchise finally fading into retirement after decades of spin-off
series and film adaptations.

And now this. An April 27 Los Angeles Times story on the exploits of the
Toronto Police Service’s Sex Crimes Unit reported on "a dark fact" uncovered
by its Child Exploitation Section: "All but one of the offenders they have
arrested in the last four years," the article revealed, "was a hard-core
Trekkie."

Wha … who … huh? I know that the Vulcan mating ritual of Pon Farr can
arouse some unruly passions, but hey. Kiddie porn? Child exploitation among
those benign nerds who flock to comic conventions in their Federation
uniforms? Say it isn’t so. Or at least present plausible evidence why it is…

…Yeah, right. Color me skeptical, but I require a little more to sell me
on the "dark fact" that "all but one of the offenders they have arrested in
the last four years was a hard-core Trekkie." If there’s empirical evidence,
trot it out. (Hard-core Trekkie membership cards? Salacious action figure
dioramas? What?) If there’s a causal relationship, at least try to explain it.
If you "can’t really explain it," don’t bring it up. Geeks get enough grief as
it is, man; they don’t need to be labeled perverts.