#1 New York Times Bestselling Author & TV Producer
You can read an excerpt from my short story "Mr. Monk and the Seventeen Steps" (itself an excerpt from my book MR. MONK ON THE ROAD), which is published in this month's issue of Ellery Queen Mystery Magazine. The story marks the first appearance of Lt. Amy Devlin, who has taken over Randy Disher's empty desk in the homicide department.
It's not too late for you to sign up for this year's Men of Mystery on Oct. 30 in Irvine. It's the Raven-award winning, day-long mystery conference and luncheon featuring fifty fantastic male authors, including Gregg Hurwitz, Don Winslow, Christopher Rice, Thomas Perry, Brett Battles, Tim Hallinan, Alan Jacobson, William Link, and yours truly. Mysterious Galaxy will be on hand to sell books, too. You don' t want to miss it… or the mushroom soap.
Here are some great examples of how not to promote your self-published book. These are actual emails that I received from complete strangers. I have removed the book titles and the names of the authors to save them embarrassment.
My third novel, XYZ. is now available for review. If you would like a review copy, I will gladly send you one.
Why would I care if his book was available for review? Why would anyone when this guy can't even be bothered to tell us what the hell his book is about? I'm sure when his book bombs, he'll be totally baffled by its failure. The same goes for this guy:
My novel 'XYZ' is now available on Amazon's Kindle (PC, Mac, Blackberry, Android, Iphone, Ipad) It is also available directly from me as a pdf file @ XYZ. The paperback edition will be available next week on Amazon. Let me know what you think!
Why would I do that? I don't know him and I don't know anything about his book. Does he think that I have nothing better to do than download unidentified crap from total strangers? If this is his idea of brilliant promotion, just imagine what his idea of compelling drama is. A week or so later, he sent me another email:
I wrote XYZ as pure entertainment.Sure, it's a vampire story. But it's set in Las Vegas, and it's told in short, cliffhanger chapters full of dialog and action. Just read the first 4 chapters (like I said, they're short), and if you're NOT hooked, then let me know and I'll leave you alone.
He still thinks I care. You'd think my total lack of response would be a subtle hint that I don't and never will. But a least this time he's said a little something about his book. Nothing that would make any sentient being want to read it, but still, he made a slight effort. Unlike, say, this woman:
My book XYZ is out. You can buy it here (XYZ). Please promote it on your blogs and sites.
Of course I will. But why stop there? Could I also pass out fliers on your behalf? Or maybe make some cold calls? Let me know. I am at your service.
Yeah, I know BOARDWALK EMPIRE and MAD MEN are on tonight. But please don't forget to set your DVR's for tonight's episode of THE GLADES, which I wrote with William Rabkin. It's entitled "Booty" and it's all about pirate treasure, murder, and the relationship between Longworth & Callie, which changes significantly before the end credits roll…
Amazingly prolific author James Reasoner has given MR. MONK IS CLEANED OUT a rave review on his blog. He says, in part:
What’s left to say about Lee Goldberg’s Monk books? You already know they’re some of the very best TV tie-in books being published today. More than that, they’re some of the very best mystery novels being published today, period. MR. MONK IS CLEANED OUT is the latest in the series, and it’s excellent, as always.[…]The plot is appropriately twisty, but as usual, Goldberg plays fair with the clues. Monk has never been more miserable (or funnier), and Natalie’s narration is as charming and appealing as ever.
Thank you, James!
Here’s an interview I did with WKWC 90.3 FM in Owensboro about REMAINDERED and TV writing/production in general. It was a lot of fun to do.
Today I am in transit to Owensboro, Kentucky, where I will be directing my short film REMAINDERED this weekend with a local cast and crew. I shall report back soon and let you know how it's going.
I've slashed the price on the Kindle edition of DEAD SPACE to only 99 cents for the rest of this month. The book is the sequel to my first novel, MY GUN HAS BULLETS, and was originally published in 1995 under the title BEYOND THE BEYOND.
Ex-cop Charlie Willis handles "special security" at Pinnacle Pictures. His job: to protect the studio and its stars, to stop scandals before they explode, to keep the peace in the land of make-believe. When Pinnacle revives the cult, 1960s TV series "Beyond the Beyond" as the cornerstone of a fourth network, two powerful forces fight for control of the show—a talent agency that uses blackmail, torture, and murder to keep its clients on the A-list, and a homicidal legion of rabid fans led by an insane actor who thinks he's in outer space.
CRITICAL ACCLAIM FOR DEAD SPACE:
“Goldberg uses just about everything he can think of to send up the studio system, fandom, Star Trek, Trekkies, agents, actors… you name it, he’ll make you laugh about it.” Analog
"An outrageously entertaining take on the loathsome folkways of contemporary showbiz," Kirkus Reviews
“Mr. Goldberg has an observant eye and a wicked pen!” Washington Times
“[It] reads like a modern-day Alice in Wonderland set against the venal world of the TV industry. It’s wonderfully revealing and uncannily accurate,” Vancouver Sun (Canada)
"Some of the easily recognizable actors, agents and producers who are mercilessly ribbed may find it hard to crack a smile at the author's gag-strewn prose, likewise those seekers after politically correct entertainment. But the rest of us should have no trouble….the novel's satiric slant is strong enough to have an effigy of Goldberg beamed into outer space at the next Star Trek convention," Los Angeles Times
"Pinnacle Pictures has decided to revive a 25-year-old cult sci-fi TV show called Beyond the Beyond, but somebody keeps killing off the new cast. Is it the Hollywood agent who eats human flesh? The aging actor who still thinks he's a starship captain? The fans who live only to attend conventions? This sharp roman a clef goes where no Hollywood satire has gone before—altering just enough facts to avoid the libel courts but still smacking of a certain je ne sais Trek. It probably won't make Goldberg, a television writer and producer (Baywatch, Spenser: For Hire, seaQuest), the most popular boy on the Paramount lot, but it's a stingingly funny novel just the same."
—Entertainment Weekly
"The hilarious follow-up to Goldberg's witty debut, My Gun Has Bullets…[this book] skewers the entertainment business, which Goldberg knows well," Oline Codgill, Knight-Ridder Newspapers.
"As in his riotous novel My Gun Has Bullets, TV writer/producer Goldberg once again bites the hand that feeds him, laughing all the while. Inspired silliness," Publishers Weekly
it's a book far richer than most suspense novels[…]Marty Slack is the protagonist, a TV executive whose largest burden is being himself. As much as he resents and hates the grasping, greedy, treacherous people at the top of the TV ladder, he has to reluctantly admit to himself, in the course of his journey to reach home after being stranded miles away, that he is an awful lot like them. Slack is a character we get to know as well as we know people in the best of mainstream novels. Goldberg gives us a real live person here. And he doesn't cheat. We come to like Slack but there are moments when we see him as shallow, selfish and even pompous. But he's fascinating because he's so well detailed.
[…]And then there's Marty Slack's marriage. This storyline is another example of what I mean about Goldberg pushing against genre boundries. This isn't just a cliche portrait of a marriage in trouble. This, and at some length, is the dissection of two people who've realized that their marriage may be beyond repair. The scenes of recrimination, rage, despair hurt to witness. Beth Slack is just as painfully real as Marty Slack.
[…]This is a magnificent novel–by turns hilarious, scary, sad, witty and ultimately wise on its judgments about the way so many of us live these days.
Thank you so much, Ed!
James Reasoner had some very nice things to say today about the paperback edition of THE WALK. He said, in part:
THE WALK is part adventure novel, part horror novel, part comedy. A lot of terrible, tragic things happen, but Goldberg’s dry, satiric wit crops up often enough to keep things from getting overwhelmingly gloomy. Marty and Buck are fine characters who play off each other wonderfully well, and the pacing really keeps the reader turning the pages. All of it leads up to an absolutely great ending that really put a grin on my face.
[…]this is hardly an unbiased review, since Lee Goldberg and I have been friends for years. However, trust me on this. THE WALK is one of the very best novels you’ll read this year or any other year.
Thank you so, much James!