Will Agents Consider Tie-Ins?

This question was buried as a comment on an old post:

How receptive are literary agents to getting media tie-in novel
queries? Is there a reason they aren’t listed in the genres that the
agent will accept, or are tie-ins considered just part of the ‘fiction’
genre?

To answer this question, you have to understand what a tie-in is:  it’s a piece of fiction using characters licensed from a rights-holder like a movie studio, a literary estate, a gaming company, etc.

Usually the way a tie-in novel comes about is that the rights-holder will approach publishers with a property or publishers will approach the rights-holder. Several publishers, for instance, sought the rights to do "Monk" novels and Penguin/Putnam eventually won out.  Only after the rights are licensed to a publisher do editors seek out authors to write the books. That’s when an agent might enter the mix.

So it wouldn’t make any sense for you to query a literary agent with an idea for a tie-in novel…or the manuscript itself… unless you are the person who holds the rights to those characters.  Otherwise, what you’re asking an agent to do is sell your fanfic…and no agent will do that. That’s   why tie-ins are not among the genres  that agents are willing to consider for submissions.

If what you’d like to do is write for an existing line of tie-in novels (like, say, the STAR TREK series),  querying an agent isn’t the way to go. Agents simply aren’t looking for new clients to take to the editors of tie-ins…for one thing, there isn’t enough commission money in it to make it worthwhile. If an agent is going to suggest someone for tie-in assignment, it will be one of their current clients.

So, in general, you need to already be on a editor’s radar to get an assignment for a tie-in… it’s the editors you need to reach, not agents.

Who Do You Know

I got this email today from a reader of my MONK books.  I’ve changed the names, but otherwise I haven’t edited it:

I can’t help but recognize your name. Of course Goldberg is rather common in L.A.  Do you recognize the last name of Sandstrom?  Howard or Betty or Steve?  They lived on Sherbourne in B.H. Then, after Papa Bob died Grandma moved to a "blue" apartment at (I think Rodeo and Olympic), after that on Palm Drive near "little" Santa Monica and Doheny.  Steve was my father.  Grandma also mentioned a Joe Swanson and Mike Berger several times.  I brought lox and bagels to Esther Berger (his mom) when she was in a nursing  home in Reseda, but never had any reason to meet Mike.  Grandma was just getting up in years and I lived in the Valley at the time.  I am estranged from my used-to-be immediate family so when a name rings a bell I so try to connect.  I know so little about my father.  I have no idea how well Mike knew him. 

I wrote back and said that I don’t know any Sandstroms…or any of the other people she’s talking about even though I, like them, am one of the millions who live in Southern California.

Inhuman

I’ve never written a biography, but I must get two or three emails a month from complete strangers who want me to write a book about their lives. Here’s one I got today (I took out the name of the person and the company she mentions):

I am 70 years old and I have been told that my autobiography should be written.I won an inhuman case against XYZ COMPANY.As you know that it is not the money you win, but I have been in therapy for many years. I have Newspaper clipping of the Inhuman treatment I received.I do hope you can help me, or know someone that can.

If you’re interested in writing about this woman and her inhuman case, let me know and I’ll put you in touch with her.

Fantastic!

Many thanks to William Simon who sent me this link to Gene Barry singing the theme to BURKE’S LAW… accompanied by a slide show of scenes of Gene in action taken from his short-lived 70s show THE ADVENTURER. It’s wonderful. Here are some of my favorite lyrics:

"Hey lover, lets make the scene
I’ve got a crazy high-fi in my limousine"
Birds of a feather
should wing it together
If we are forsaking love
We’re breaking Burke’s Law…"

I am going to be RICH!

I got this email today:

Dear Goldberg

My name is Charles Kobenan a Banker and
accountant with BIAO BANK Abidjan.I am the personal accounts manager to
Engr Lake Goldberg a National of your country, who used to work with an
oil servicing company here in Cote Ivoire.

My client, his wife,
and their three children were involved in the ill fated Kenya Airways
crash in the coasts of Abidjan in January 2000 in which all passengers
on board died. Since then I have made several inquiries to your embassy
to locate any of my clients extended relatives but thas been
unsuccessful.After several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to trace
his last name over the internet,to see if I could locate any member of
his family hence I contacted you.

Of particular interest is
this huge deposit with our bank here in,where the deceased has an
account valued at about ($16 million US dollars).They have issued me a
notice to pro vide the next of kin or the bank will declare the account
unservisable and thereby send the funds to the bank treasury.Since I
have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives for over last 6years
now, I will seek your consent to present you as the next of kin of the
deceased since you have the same last names, so that the proceeds of
this account valued at ($16million US dollars) can be paid to you and
then you and I can share the money.

All
I require is your honest cooperation to enable us see this deal
through.I guarantee that this will be executed under all legitimate
arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law. In your
reply mail, I want you to give me your full names, address, date of
birth, telephone and fax numbers.If you can handle this with me, reach
me now for more details.

Thanking you for your anticipated cooperation.
Sincerely,

This sounds like a terrific idea idea to me.  I am going to send him whatever he wants, especially my checking account and social security numbers if he asks for them, because this legitimate opportunity to get rich is just too good to pass up. This is my lucky day!

Gimme Gimme Gimme

I’m a TV writer/producer and a novelist. I don’t buy scripts, finance movies, publish books, or take on apprentices. And I’m not a celebrity.

Even so, every day I get emails from strangers asking me to buy their scripts, read their scripts, plug their blogs, blurb their books, or take them on as apprentices. I still don’t understand why. But the vast majority of those appeals are so badly presented, I can’t imagine that any of them  could ever work. Here’s a sampling of some I’ve received this week, the names  have been changed to protect the guilty.

I think this woman wants me to take her on as some kind of apprentice…or buy her life story…or just pay attention to her. I’m not sure:

I’m a 36 year old
black woman who has always desired to write for a living.  Thus my blog at XYZ.  Please don’t think I’m some rags to riches story in the
making as I’m not.  The closest I’ve ever been to the ghetto was driving
past fast on my way to visit some unfortunate relative.  LOL!  I am
FABULOUS.  just FABULOUS as you’ll soon find out. I have a gazillion
ideas and a gazillion/gamillion stories.[…]

Please visit my site and take me on as someone to mentor.  You could be the man who
discovered the next Shonda Rhimes. Come on…take a chance.  I’m EXACTLY
the sort of story Oprah would EAT UP!

Another complete stranger wants me to call him or give him my phone number using this come on:

I’m the publisher of XYZ.com, which is regularly ranked in the Top 5% off all sites on the web and cited by international, national and regional media. Is there a number I might reach you at or can you please call me at XXXXX when you have a moment?

Why would I want to do that? When I asked him what he wanted to talk about, he replied:

A forthcoming online project I’m working on.

Uh-huh. Needless to say, I haven’t called. Another person wants me to read his script:

Please take a look at XYZ.  We are now being read by the Hallmark Channel, Noah Wiley, Erique LaSalle and John Schneider and Albert Brooks’ manager. We look forward to hearing from you soon.

Why would I want to read the script? What’s the point? And if all those stars are reading the script, what the heck do you need me for anyway (though, in point of fact, the stars aren’t reading the script, their "reader" is reading the script). 

A self-published author wants me to blurb his book:

My first novel is now on sale.  Please see: XYZ.com.  I’m writing to request a blurb and any other help you believe is appropriate for its promotion.  I’ve receive several blurbs, including one from XYZ, that I will put on a poster to boost local
attention.

Who could resist a note like that? Not only will I blurb it,  I’m going to give him the  deed to my house.

Recommended Publishers

A reader posed this question to me in an email:

I read your comments about Publish America, and so I thought I would write and ask what publishers you would recommend for an aspiring writer trying to get their first short novel published?

Reputable ones. It’s a simple as that.  Publish America isn’t one of them. They are a vanity press in disguise.

Here’s another piece of advice, since you’re asking: Don’t get involved with any publisher that asks you to pay to be published.  They should pay you, not the other way around.

I would also be extremely leary of  any publishers that are strictly print-on-demand. I’m not saying all the  non-pay-to-be-published POD presses are dishonest, far from it, some of their founders really love books and respect authors… but many of those "publishers" tend to be on very shaky commercial footing at best. Take what happened with Quiet Storm, for example.  On the other hand, Ellora’s Cave has become very successful and treats their authors well (though they have some of the most laughably horrible "covers" I’ve ever seen).

I’m No Help

For some reason, Fridays is the day I seem to get the most blog-related email.  Here’s one from Kelly Cyr:

I read through your blog and find you extremely negative and cynical. You
also hold yourself well above the rest of us writers. Maybe you should find
another line of work. I don’t think writing suits you at all. Honey, I don’t
think you would be anyone enjoyable to be around at all. Go find another
occupation and get happier. The stuff you write only brings people down and
was of no help to me at all. 

I’ll share a secret with you, Kelly. I’m not half as talented as most of the writers I know and I live in fear that some day people are going to figure that out. You’re obviously way ahead of the pack on that one. 

But I have to correct you on a couple of other things:  I am the happiest guy you will ever meet. I am lucky enough to have a wonderful and supportive family, lots of friends, good health, and a career doing what I love (despite my obvious lack of talent).

I’m sorry that my work saddens you. If you came here looking for help with your career, your relationships, or your pursuit of inner peace, you definitely came to the wrong place. My blog isn’t an advice column and I’m not Walter Scott. This is my collection of rantings, ramblings, and opinions on this and that. Sometimes I answer questions, but I’m not here to help you sell your script, get your book published,  train your dog to fetch, discover spiritual enlightenment, or become multiply orgasmic (though I am told reading my DIAGNOSIS MURDER books helps a lot with that). I’m here because I’m procrastinating when I should be writing. Try my brother Tod’s blog instead or write a letter to Parade.

Lester Dent’s Fiction Formula

Dent2
I got this email from "Bigby" today:

Lester Dent, the pulp writer who created Doc Savage
(and I believe wrote all or most of the Shadow stories) and God knows how many
others once gave his formula for any 6000 word pulp story… which is EXACTLY
the four-act structure for TV. He even breaks those six thousand words into four,
1500 word acts…Absolutely fascinating.

Bigby is right.  Dent’s formula reads almost exactly like the four-act structure of an episodic teleplay. For example, here is how Dent describes the first 1500 words of a story:

  1. First line, or as near thereto as possible, introduce the hero
    and swat him with a fistful of trouble. Hint at a mystery, a menace or
    a problem to be solved–something the hero has to cope with.
  2. The hero pitches in to cope with his fistful of trouble. (He
    tries to fathom the mystery, defeat the menace, or solve the problem.)
  3. Introduce ALL the other characters as soon as possible. Bring
    them on in action.
  4. Hero’s endevours land him in an actual physical conflict near the
    end of the first 1500 words.
  5. Near the end of first 1500 words, there is a complete surprise
    twist in the plot development.

That’s pretty darn close to what the first Act of any episode has to accomplish. The first Act sets up the central conflicts of the story:  what the hero has at stake, what others have at stake, what his goals are and the obstacles that prevent him from achieving his aims. Dent says much the same thing, only in a different words ("He
tries to fathom the mystery, defeat the menace, or solve the problem."). Dent’s advice is worth taking — whether you are writing a thrilling short story or a spec episode of a TV show.