My Blog

So You Want to Write Tie-Ins…

by

Ever since my brother Tod's terrific LA Times article on writing the BURN NOTICE tie-in was published, me and other members of the International Association of Media Tie-in Writers have been bombarded with queries from people who want to write tie-ins. In response, author Jeff Mariotte has posted his advice on the IAMTW blog. He wrotes, in part:

The key fact to keep in mind about writing official tie-in fiction is
that it's licensed. That means that (for a price) a publisher has
licensed the rights to publish the novels from the (in the case of TV
shows–the process is essentially the same for books based on comics,
games, movies, etc.) TV production company or network that owns the
original show, or the "property."

Once a publisher gets the
license, then an editor working for that publishing company looks for
writers to write the novels. The writers are approached and offered a
contract before even beginning to write the novel–it's the reverse of
the usual novel-writing approach of writing a book and then looking for
a publisher. This means that for the most part, tie-in writing jobs go
to writers of whom the editor is aware.

I’m Fraking Quoted

by

Chris Talbott of the Associated Press picked up on my blog post a while back about the subversive power of "Frak"..and quoted me in an article on the topic that is showing up today all over the fraking place.

Lee Goldberg thinks Glen A. Larson is a genius, and not because the prolific
television writer and producer gave us "Knight Rider" and "B.J. and the Bear."

It was Larson who first used the faux curse word "frak" in
the original "Battlestar Galactica." The word was mostly overlooked back in the
'70s series but is working its way into popular vocabulary as SciFi's modern
update winds down production.

"All joking aside, say what you will about what you might
call the lowbrow nature of many of his shows, he did something truly amazing and
subversive, up there with what Steven Bochco gets credit for, with 'frak,' "
Goldberg said.

There's no question what the word stands for and it's used
gleefully, as many as 20 times in some episodes.

[…]Goldberg believes Larson should get more
credit for "frak" and has posted an appreciation on his Web site. He even sought
out Larson to let him know how he feels: "I told him, 'Frak is fraking
brilliant, Glen.' "

The reporter also talked to BATTLESTAR GALACTICA cast members, novelist Robert Crais, and he even  managed (with my help) to track down Glen for a quote or two.

"Our point was to whenever possible make it a departure like
you're visiting somewhere else," Larson said. "And we did coin certain phrases
for use in expletive situations, but we tried to carry that over into a lot of
other stuff, even push brooms and the coin of the realm."

The producers of the new BATTLESTAR GALACTICA fraking love to use the word, of course.

Co-executive producer and writer Michael Angeli, an Emmy
nominee for the episode "Six of One," said using the word in scripts is
satisfying for anyone who's been censored over the years.

"It's a great way to do something naughty and get away with
it," Angeli said.

That talented motherfraker is frakin' right.

Travis McGee’s Hollywood “Wounded Birds”

by

Ed Gorman linked  to a very interesting article about John D. MacDonald's frustration with Hollywood's attempts to bring Travis McGee to the screen.

Almost immediately after the series began, the scribe
started receiving offers to transport the McGee character from books to
television. In 1965 MacDonald had his first meeting with a quartet of
Hollywood types who wanted to buy the television rights. They were so
confident about the match between McGee and TV that they had forged on:
scripting episodes, signing contracts with sponsors, and casting Chuck
Connors in the lead role. The chaps found that "it was extraordinarily
difficult to find the right approach to a writer who doesn't believe in
television," MacDonald wrote to friend Dan Rowan. "[They were] wrong. I
believe in it. One percent of it is very very good….and 99 percent of
everything is and always has been schlock. I don't want Trav to [be
simplified as] the series tube requires, nor do I want the angle of
approach wrenched this way and that when the ratings don't move and
everybody…starts trying this and trying that."

The two filmed McGees — Rod Taylor in the movie DARKER THAN AMBER and Sam Elliot in unsold TV pilot TRAVIS McGEE (aka THE EMPTY COPPER SEA) — were underwhelming to say the least.   It's no wonder that Robert Crais and Sue Grafton have refused offers from Hollywood to put Elvis Cole and Kinsey Milhone on screen…

A Police Academy for Crime Writers

by

This has got to be the best idea for a writer's conference that I have heard about in years…

My friend Lee Lofland, ex-cop turned author of POLICE PROCEDURE AND INVESTIGATION,  has put together THE WRITER'S POLICE ACADEMY on April 17-18 2009 in Hamilton, Ohio. The faculty is packed with top cops giving hands-on instruction in, among other things, Interrogation, hand-to-hand combat, police tools & equipment, arrest procedure & tech, law enforcement technology, and equipment, hostage negotiations, lie detection, traffic stops, handgun training,  as well as indepth tours of the local morgue and police department.

It sounds fantastic to me. I hope I will be able to go.

The Writer's Police Academy coincides with the Mad Anthony Writer's Conference, which includes guests like Bleak House publisher Ben LeRoy and Writer's Digest Books editor Jane Friedman.

Mr. Monk and the Foreign Covers

by

Here are some covers from the foreign editions of my MONK books.
Monk in germany german cover 
Monk in Outer Space German Cover

Mr-Monk-Goes-to-Hawaii

Detektyw-Monk-i-dwie-asystentki_Lee-Goldberg,images_big,11,978-83-7510-133-1

What I don't get is why on the Polish cover they spell my name correctly, but they change "Andy Breckman" into "Andy'Ego Breckmana." Can anybody explain that one to me?

Another Opportunity for Vanity Press Suckers To Throw Away Their Money

by

The Telegraph is amused by Blurbings.com, another inept "service" aimed at hopelessly stupid people who've already been suckered by a vanity press and are eager to throw away even more money:

It had to happen sooner or later: an American company
is offering writers gobbets of praise with which to decorate the covers
of their self-published books. A plug from an unknown author is
unlikely to encourage anyone to buy a book by another unknown author,
but this has not stopped www.blurbings.com offering various packages that start at $19.95 for 10 micro-bouquets.

Victoria Strauss at Writers Beware also points out the stupidity of this new attempt to shake a few more bucks from the pockets of the dumb and unwary:

According to Blurbings' About Us
page: "Normally, a blurb will cost an author and/or publisher $14 –
$23, which includes printing of the galleys, packaging and mailing
fees. The standard 30 – 50 blurbs expected per book can range from $420
to $1,150. It is also very time consuming researching and contacting
prospective authors as well as conducting follow-ups during the
duration of the process."

Uh…okay.

[…]The whole point of a blurb is that the blurber be recognizable to the
general public, or else be someone whose credentials suggest that his
or her opinion is worth taking seriously. But how likely is it that
someone like that will find his or her way to Blurbings and happen upon
your digital galley? (And if you contact them yourself, what do you
need Blurbings for?) It's far more likely that the blurbs you'll get
will come from other site users–i.e., other self- or
small-press-published authors–or, possibly, from random web surfers.
No offense to Joe Micropress Author or Jane Random Web Surfer…but
blurbwise, who cares what they think?

Emily Maroutian, one of the owners of Blurbings.com, defended her "service" in a comment on Writer Beware:

Blurbings.com was not created for big industry authors or authors, like
yourself, who don't like blurbs. Blurbings was created to help
self-published authors and small presses receive blurbs for their work.
It was created to shorten the process and make it cheaper. […]If anyone here feels as if our service is pointless then don’t use it. It’s as simple as that.

I don't know why the Telegraph and Victoria are criticizing Blurbings.com. Everyone knows that a ringing endorsement from a complete nobody for a total unknown is better than no blurb at all. But I think I'm going to save $20 and just ask my gardener, the cashier at Ralph's, and the first person I see on the street to blurb my next book.

The Supreme Court of Seinfeld

by

Seinfeld
The Maryland Court of Appeals cited a SEINFELD episode to explain their reasoning in a lawsuit brought by the ex-wife of author Tom Clancy against her ex-husband for pulling out of a book deal that would have profited her. In the SEINFELD episode, Jerry tries to return a jacket because he didn't like the salesman:

The decision issued today says a trial court will have to determine whether Clancy acted in
bad faith when he withdrew from a television and paperback series that profited
the partnership he formed with his then-wife, Wanda.

In footnote 27, the court reprints the dialogue between Seinfeld and a store
clerk :

Clerk: I don't think you can return an item for spite.

Jerry: What do you mean?

Clerk: Well, if there was some problem with the garment. If it were
unsatisfactory in some way, then we could do it for you, but I'm afraid spite
doesn't fit into any of our conditions for a refund.

I think if Obama becomes President, he should consider putting Jerry on the Supreme Court.

(Thanks to my cousin Danny Barer for the heads-up)