I’m not a big car guy… by that I mean, I love cars, but I don’t know the first thing about engines or horsepower or even how to change my oil. I’m barely capable of checking how much air is in my tires.
But I love reading Dan Neil’s car reviews & features in The Los Angeles Times. He recently won a Pulitizer Prize for his funny, clever, incredibly entertaining writing. His review today of the new Mercury Montego started my day off with some laughs. Here are some excerpts.
A car whose lack of charisma is so dense no light can escape its surface…
The faux wood-grain interior trim looks like it came off a prison lunch tray.
I’ve felt better leather upholstery on footballs…Overall, the car has a profoundly
geriatric feeling about it, like it was built with a swollen prostate. To drive
this car is to feel the icy hand of death upon you…There is no soul to this car, and it’s about as sexy as going through your
mother’s underwear drawer…This torpor has a soundtrack. When you mash the gas the powertrain moans as if
you were raising dear departed Uncle Sal at a séance…
