How Dense Can a Person Be?

Anybody who reads this blog knows I’m not a supporter of "fanfic," that I think it violates the legal and artistic rights of authors, and that I take every opportunity to point out how inane and offensive most of it is.  So you can imagine my amusement when I got this  email today:

Hey Mr. Goldberg–
I know this is going to seem really random but there is no
way around it. You made a post a while ago about a fanfic writer
named ‘cousinjean’
. I don’t really care about the whole situation
surrounding her asking for money, more I was wondering if you knew any way to
get in contact with her. I don’t want to harass her, I just wanted to know
if she still had a site up with her work on it because some of it I
never got to finish reading and the link doesn’t seem to work any longer.

This request is really bizarre. It’s sort of like asking a Jew to direct you to some really rocking anti-Semitic screeds. Yeah, sure, Trish, I’ll be glad to.

16 thoughts on “How Dense Can a Person Be?”

  1. Finally read the Wonka fanfic post. What you don’t appreciate is how uplifting bad writing can be. Perhaps the enquiry came from a writer struggling with a writing problem who needed a brief boost of superiority. Fanfic does at least that.

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  2. I can’t believe you thought that person was actually serious. You are funny.
    I take every opportunity to point out how inane and offensive most of it is
    By obsessively researching and reading only those parts which you claim to find “offensive”. Yes, I can tell how offended you are.

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  3. Lee never mentioned the site in his post. So I think your idiotic comment is a rather lame and transparent attempt to get people to visit the site. Nice try, Col. Klink.

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  4. Was this email a joke? I don’t know. I get so many insanely stupid emails from fanficcers, it’s nearly impossible for me to tell which ones are real and which ones are fakes. It’s not easy when so much of the “real” stuff they post is so incredibly dumb (ie the loser who was searching the net for masturbation fanfic, the English prof who writes Real Person Slash, etc.) What reasonable person wouldn’t have a hard time separating the fake morons from the “real” ones? It’s like trying to tell which inane Letters To Parade are real, and which ones are written by the staff…

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  5. Seeing as how most of our society is based on money, and these writers are not making money, why do you care? It’s obviously not causing you any harm. Illegal file shairng causes problems. Pumping gas and driving off without paying casues problems. Fanfic writers don’t. And much of the writing I have seen actually puts the paid writers to shame. There must be more important things out there to fight against than this.

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  6. I enjoy reading fanfic, especially those based on my favorite tv show, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The best fanfic out there is superior to the best “official” Buffy novels, which tend to be dumbed down and gearedd toward a teen audience.
    Most readers turn to fanfic when the sanctioned books aren’t giving the audience what they want.

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  7. Interesting point reddygirl. You can’t successfully play in a sandbox until you know your characters, understand their motivation and respect their creator. Tie in authors are often wanna bes that see things in kindergarten terms, it’s why they’re hired. Here are the lines. Stay in the lines. Do not color outside the lines. Very often it’s the exact antithesis of the writing that made the original work great. With shows like BTVS the tie ins often resemble nothing like the original. Some of the best fan fic out there continues the stories in the spirit and tone of the original. Rather like the long tradition of oral storytelling(myths, folk tales and the like)which if you think about it, could be argued as the Mamma of fan fic.

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  8. You can’t successfully play in a sandbox until you know your characters, understand their motivation and respect their creator.
    I was with you right up until the last three words. You can do all of the first few things without having the slightest respect for the creator.

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  9. The fact you, and fanfiction writers in general, don’t have the slightest respect for the creators is obvious…and sad.
    That is entirely not true. It’s too bad that the full list I saw is currently not accessible, but the list of creators who endorse and are happy to see fanfiction is not a short one. In the case of some older and/or canceled franchises, fanfiction is often credited by creators for keeping fans interested and active.
    You know, I was really hoping someone would bring up the “fanfiction is better than tie-ins” point. I’ve noticed that a lot myself and it’s disappointing. I usually feel like I’m reading something from someone who is new to the fandom and doesn’t have a good grasp for the characters. From what I’ve read on this blog, that’s often the case. It’s to the point where I don’t usually bother any more. It may be hard to find good fanfic out there, but at least I can get out of the bad ones by hitting the back button and I’m not out four bucks for my troubles.

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  10. The fact you, and fanfiction writers in general, don’t have the slightest respect for the creators is obvious…and sad.
    Yet another entirely incorrect, baseless and ridiculous assertion from Lee Goldberg’s side of the fence.
    Um, do you guys even have any actual proactive arguments? What are you trying to say, that fans should have to pay a fee for a licence to write fanfiction? Seriously, I want to know how you propose your own concerns be addressed. Or are you just talking out of your arses?

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  11. Simple, Teresa. Get the writer and/or creator’s permission to write fanfic based on their work and their characters. If they don’t give you their permission, don’t write it. How hard is that? Seems pretty “proactive” to me.
    But you won’t see fanficcers do that because that would require some courtesy and respect towards the creators of the work they so blithely rip-off.

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  12. I’m…sorry…are you SERIOUSLY suggesting that all fanfic writers- all tens of THOUSANDS of them, email or write to or ring up the creators of a series to get permission before writing a story on it, every single freakin time, every one of them?
    Was this suggestion a joke? I don’t know. I get so many insanely stupid ‘arguments’ from anti-fanficcers, it’s nearly impossible for me to tell which ones are real and which ones are fakes. It’s not easy when so much of the “real” stuff they post is so incredibly dumb.
    Parody alert! And, you’ll need to sue me now, as I did not ask Lee Goldberg’s permission to satirise that. I wonder if the Monty Python crew asked God if they could satirise the Bible before making The Life of Brian…
    To say we have no respect for the creators is in a word: ignorance. We ADORE everything about a show- something you can’t seem to understand is that we don’t wanna change it – it’s not about that at ALL. Think about it- fanfic writers read and write tens of different conflicting situations- how does that suggest we want to utterly change the original to a single concept? No, we’re just exploring, testing the characters, taking them for a spin, putting them in situations that make them all the more endearing to us and remind us why we love them in the first place. That’s all.
    For example: Firefly is PERFECT the way it is. I LOVE it. Adore it. and I love Joss Whedon! He rules! But we know so little about, say, Wash, that it wouldn’t be hard to explore his character a little- try and explain why he is the way he is, put him in new situations (since the show is over, and can no longer do that for us).
    Storytelling should be celebrated- it is the single most important thing in my opinion which has accelerated the Human Race beyond that of animals (ok, so maybe not a good thing necessarily..). Some of us just need a starting point, something to work with. We ain’t all as talented as Lee Goldberg.
    Sparky

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  13. “I’m…sorry…are you SERIOUSLY suggesting that all fanfic writers- all tens of THOUSANDS of them, email or write to or ring up the creators of a series to get permission before writing a story on it, every single freakin time, every one of them?”
    Yes. It’s called taking some fucking responsibility. It’s called respecting the authors. It’s called respecting copyright and trademarks.
    You’re whining because you might have to make the mighty effort of sending a letter or an email to the creators of the characters? Boo-fucking-hoo. Grow up and stop your miserable, pitiful, pathetic whining.
    You’ve just proven what I have been saying all along: Fanficcers don’t want to make any effort at all to do the right thing because they are so fucking afraid of being told NO.
    “we’re just exploring, testing the characters, taking them for a spin, putting them in situations that make them all the more endearing to us and remind us why we love them in the first place. That’s all.”
    They aren’t your characters to “take for a spin.” When is that going to sink in to your thick skull? THEY AREN’T YOURS.

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