Have Gun, Will Shoot Myself

Variety reports that Eminem is planning to star in a big-screen, "contemporary" version of the classic western HAVE GUN, WILL TRAVEL, which starred Richard Boone as Paladin, a roaming gunfighter-for-hire.

Concept
will be updated to contemporary times and see Eminem playing a bounty
hunter. Setting could be Eminem’s hometown of Detroit, but those
details have yet to be worked out.

[Eminem’s manager Paul] Rosenberg told Daily Variety
that the vehicle will be revamped from the original, with some
characters based loosely on ones from the series as well as nods to
certain story points.

Oh. My. God. This might be even worse than Rutger Hauer’s "contemporary" version of   WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE. I can’t wait to see the Dixie Chicks in a "contemporary" version of BONANZA.

TV Ramblings

God,I love "Deadwood." I liked the season premiere so much, I
immediately watched it again (or I was desperate to avoid getting back
to work on my book). If you ask me, "Deadwood" and "Battlestar
Galactica" …two revisionist "genre" shows…are the best dramas on TV
right now. A close third would be the more conventional but brilliantly
plotted "Law and Order: SVU."

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I ran out of steam writing last night around midnight, but I was still too keyed up to go to bed. So I pulled out the second volume, season one boxed set of THE TIME TUNNEL and looked at a few of the extras. I’m not a fan of THE TIME TUNNEL and probably won’t watch the episodes. I bought the set for the two unsold revival pilots that are included — the unaired, 2002 hour-long THE TIME TUNNEL "reimagining" for Fox (which was flawed but interesting nonetheless) and the 1976 two-hour movie TIME TRAVELERS (which was awful in every way).  The story for TIME TRAVELERS was written by Rod Serling, but I can’t imagine that any of his work remained in the execrable final product. There wasn’t hint of his intelligence, wit or characterization in the script.

THE TIME TUNNEL has a couple of nice extras but no effort is made to present them in any sort of context or with any kind of flair. The whole set feels perfunctory, slapped together with no imagination, creativity or enthusiasm. Which is, of course, the complete opposite of the DVD sets put together by Paul Brownfield.

It Never Entered My Mind

Paramount has reversed course and the season one DIAGNOSIS MURDER boxed set, to be released in September, will now include "It Never Entered My Mind," the pilot which aired as an spin-off episode of JAKE AND THE FATMAN. In the pilot, Dr. Mark Sloan was a widower without any children. His investigative sidekicks were Kristoff St. John  and Ally Walker (as Dr. Amanda Bentley, a role later played by Cynthia Gibb and Victoria Rowell). But it still looks like the set won’t include the TV movies that preceded the weekly series.

Mr. Monk and Mr. Bill

Bill Crider made my day by praising my book MR. MONK GOES TO THE FIREHOUSE on his blog:

A lot of the book’s humor arises from Monk’s attempts to adjust to living away from his own environment, and
the whole plot is generated because Natalie’s young daughter is upset by the death of a firehouse dog. Monk declares he’ll find the killer, and the book is off to the races. I had a lot of fun reading this, and
if you’re in the mood for a couple of hours of pure entertainment, you probably would, too.

Thanks, Bill!

Western Noir

Ed Gorman has quietly created his own unique genre — the western noir. I first discovered it when I read his book WOLF MOON. Here’s what I wrote when I read it a year ago this week:

I devoured WOLF MOON in one sitting. I really enjoyed it.
The book came out a few years ago and it’s unlike any western I’ve read
before.  Think of it as western noir, with an emphasis on noir, though
you wouldn’t know that from the standard "western" cover and "frontier"
font.  Sure, it takes place in the west and has all the expected genre
trappings…but it’s the kind of tale Charles Williams, Harry
Whittington, Dan J. Marlowe, Wade Miller, Vin Packer and Charles
Willeford like to tell. Dark and violent. Grim and doomed. It’s about a
bank robber who gets double-crossed, goes to prison, and seeks revenge.
Sounds pretty standard but trust me, it isn’t. The hero of this book is
an original…a guy who is literally rabid with revenge. I
can’t help but wonder how the book would have fared, and the attention
it might have garnered, if it was marketed as a weird twist on a dark
crime tale instead of western.

Now the folks over at Bookgasm have discovered Ed’s unique brand of noir with GHOST TOWN:

GhosttownThis being my first exposure to Gorman, I loved every second of it. Just
expecting a typical Western, I was blown away by how he turns the genre on
its ear like some of the Western writing of Elmore Leonard. I’m talking some
great scenes of double-crosses and a nice-sized body count. Like some of the
revisionist Western films that have come out in recent years, this book 
does not have a happy ending; it just makes you feel the empathy for  the
characters to which you have been exposed.

I wish Ed was getting more attention for these great books instead of having them relegated to the sadly neglected western shelf.

The Best

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The best producer of boxed sets of TV shows on DVD is Paul Brownstein. No one else comes close. His love of television is obvious in his brilliant work on DVD sets for shows like THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW, GUNSMOKE and now THE WILD WILD WEST. The prints are terrific, the menus are clever and vibrant, and he goes out of his way to jam-pack his sets with amazing, rare, and informative supplemental material.  His sets have all the usual stuff… and far, far more.  The GUNSMOKE set, for example, includes behind-the-scenes home movies from Dennis Weaver, appearances from James Arness and Dennis Weaver on THE ED SULLIVAN SHOW, an Amanda Blake interview on the MIKE DOUGLAS SHOW, Emmy Award appearances by the cast,  network promos, interviews from The Western Channel, a video of a  GUNSMOKE retrospective held at the Museum of Broadcasting, promos, bloopers, and a huge number of audio commentaries… and I’m only scratching the surface of what’s offered. 

This week, I bought his  THE WILD WILD WEST boxed set and, once again, he’s done incredible work. The set includes all the usual extras and so much more, like audio tracks from the original scoring sessions for the main title theme with alternate versions and aborted takes (a rare find which is worth the price of the set alone),  the original pilot main title sequence, network promos, and audio interviews with the composer, various writers,  the studio casting exec, special effects person. It’s a TV fan’s wet dream.

Some savvy studio should put Paul in charge of ALL their TV boxed sets…because he simply does it better than anybody.

Recommended Publishers

A reader posed this question to me in an email:

I read your comments about Publish America, and so I thought I would write and ask what publishers you would recommend for an aspiring writer trying to get their first short novel published?

Reputable ones. It’s a simple as that.  Publish America isn’t one of them. They are a vanity press in disguise.

Here’s another piece of advice, since you’re asking: Don’t get involved with any publisher that asks you to pay to be published.  They should pay you, not the other way around.

I would also be extremely leary of  any publishers that are strictly print-on-demand. I’m not saying all the  non-pay-to-be-published POD presses are dishonest, far from it, some of their founders really love books and respect authors… but many of those "publishers" tend to be on very shaky commercial footing at best. Take what happened with Quiet Storm, for example.  On the other hand, Ellora’s Cave has become very successful and treats their authors well (though they have some of the most laughably horrible "covers" I’ve ever seen).

I’m No Help

For some reason, Fridays is the day I seem to get the most blog-related email.  Here’s one from Kelly Cyr:

I read through your blog and find you extremely negative and cynical. You
also hold yourself well above the rest of us writers. Maybe you should find
another line of work. I don’t think writing suits you at all. Honey, I don’t
think you would be anyone enjoyable to be around at all. Go find another
occupation and get happier. The stuff you write only brings people down and
was of no help to me at all. 

I’ll share a secret with you, Kelly. I’m not half as talented as most of the writers I know and I live in fear that some day people are going to figure that out. You’re obviously way ahead of the pack on that one. 

But I have to correct you on a couple of other things:  I am the happiest guy you will ever meet. I am lucky enough to have a wonderful and supportive family, lots of friends, good health, and a career doing what I love (despite my obvious lack of talent).

I’m sorry that my work saddens you. If you came here looking for help with your career, your relationships, or your pursuit of inner peace, you definitely came to the wrong place. My blog isn’t an advice column and I’m not Walter Scott. This is my collection of rantings, ramblings, and opinions on this and that. Sometimes I answer questions, but I’m not here to help you sell your script, get your book published,  train your dog to fetch, discover spiritual enlightenment, or become multiply orgasmic (though I am told reading my DIAGNOSIS MURDER books helps a lot with that). I’m here because I’m procrastinating when I should be writing. Try my brother Tod’s blog instead or write a letter to Parade.

Easy Rawlins Going to HBO

Variety reports that HBO Films is making a feature film version of Walter Mosley’s novel LITTLE SCARLET. Jeffrey Wright and Mos Def have been signed to star  though, in an unusual twist, it’s undecided at this point who will play PI Easy Rawlins and who will play Mouse, his sociopathic sidekick (Denzel Washington played Easy and Don Cheadle was Mouse  in the 1995 feature version of DEVIL IN A BLUE DRESS). Mosley is writing the script himself and my friend Debra Martin Chase (who I worked with for two seasons on the Lifetime TV series MISSING) will produce.

Thingies III

I’m the oldest of four children. My 11 year-old daughter suddenly
realized, in the wake of her "Human Growth and Development Class," what
this meant.

"Grandma had sex four times? I can’t imagine even doing it once!"