My Brother On The Atkins Diet

My brother writes a terrific column for the Las Vegas Mercury. ..especially when he’s writing about my Mom.

All of us Goldberg men are lard-asses… so we are on the Atkins Diet. Well, I am. Tod quit because he couldn’t poop anymore… and wrote a very funny column about it called The Crap Free Diet. If you’re eating “protein burgers” and counting carb, you gotta read this.

3 thoughts on “My Brother On The Atkins Diet”

  1. Some may call it the crap free diet, but I never had a problem pooping. What I do know is that if you quit the Atkins diet that you gain all the weight you lost back in like two weeks because that’s what happened to me.

  2. Take one small psyillium capsule with a glass of water (8-12 oz) before you eat your all protein meals. Works well with protein drinks also. Exercise during and after the diet and keep carbs low after and you won’t regain the weight.

  3. Hola,
    Found your site through friends at the Lipstick Chronicles (also a novelist who finds blogging a delightful procrastination tool).
    Atkins is a little extreme, your body goes into ketosis, which is why you pee so much. But I put my spouse on a less-grain (esp wheat) but some-carb diet for health and he lost 10 lbs and he is now cut like an injection-molded GI Joe, except his body hair hides it, unfortunately.
    Pasta, we’ve found, is the root of all evil. Your body treats processed grains as a big bowl o’ sugar. Check out konjac noodles, which are no carb AND they’re filled with fiber to keep that, er, peristalsis going. There should be tons of Asian groceries near you…
    Good luck!


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