Mystery writer Paul Levine stumbles on a crime-in-progress in his neighborhood and plays detective in this very funny blog post. Here's a snippet:
When the cops arrived ten minutes later, I told them the guy was late 30's, 6-1, 190 pounds, bleached spiked hair and spoke with a Russian accent. The car, I suggested, was possibly stolen. Maybe owned by a woman who was a life insurance broker in Orange County. She might need assistance walking, and it's possible her initials are "L.F."
The cops gave me sideways glances. Like who the hell was this guy, "The Mentalist?"
I explained. The license plate holder is from a dealer in Anaheim. In the front seat, there's a blue handicapped parking sticker and a hardcover book. Married Lovers by Jackie Collins. Men don't read her. The personalized license plate is "LF CLU."
"Her name might be Lois Fenstermacher," I suggested, helpfully. "And she could be a Chartered Life Underwriter."
The cops weren't impressed.