The Mail I Get…

Complete strangers from all over the world are always sending me emails asking me to “buy” or “represent” their scripts. This makes no sense to me. I’m a TV writer, not an agent or studio exec. I’m trying to sell my own work, not get other people jobs. Here’s one of the latest queries…clearly a mass mailing, since the fellow who sent it doesn’t even know if I am a man or a woman…

Respected
Sir/Madam,

I am very much interested in film script writing. I
would like to send the spec. script of a original,
Psychological-thriller story-Original Psycho for your
review and possible representation.

The story’s main antagonist is also the story’s
protagonist – Joy the psycho. Tom and Joy are
brothers who live together. Tom is proud and
dominates Joy and extracts work from him. Because of
this domination, Joy one day murders Tom. He looks at
Tom’s dead body for many days and becomes a psycho.
After a few years, at the start of college Joy is
ragged by his senior – Shaw, for this Joy murders
Shaw. After a few days a girl – Mono falls in love
with Joy. When Mono visits Joy’s house, he murders
her, has sex with her dead body, and reads a poem. The
Police start suspecting everyone and the Police
Investigators start a inquiry into the murders but
they are unable to find the killer. Joy kills a
poet(Mil), a military officer(Sky) and a
painter(Silver). When a investigating officer- Rom
visits Joy’s house, Joy captures the officer and ties
him in the house. Next Joy kills a politician (White)
and buries his body along with the other three bodies
in a single graveyard. Later he creates a pot with the
mud from the grave of his murdered victims. When Joy
drinks milk out of this pot, a Police officer shoots
the pot. Rom comes and holds the neck of the Police
office and asks “ why did you shoot the pot?” and
tells the officer that Joy wrote a poem, and killed
the characters found in the poem, and out of the mud
from their graveyard, Joy made this pot. His ambition
was to drink milk out of this pot, but you broke this
pot. Now his ambition is not fulfilled and he will be
a psycho always. At last, Police officers arrest Joy
and take him away.

If this spec. script – Original Psycho looks
interesting, please contact me.

Registration Number : 975354

Address:
Thanking you,

Yours Sincerely,
3-43-164,
Krishnapuri colony,
West marred pally, MR.U.LAXMINARASIMHASWAMY.
Secunderabad,
Andhra pradesh, India. 500026.

4 thoughts on “The Mail I Get…”

  1. Novelists get the same thing. Guy came up to me at a party last night and said, “I have a fantastic idea for a story.” I said, “Before you start, if it’s fantastic, you should write it. Otherwise, if you tell me, and it is, I’ll simply write a book about it, collect all the royalties, and you’ll have wasted your breath for nothing.”
    He said he was kidding. I suppose it beats the old tech support standby, “Hello? I broke my cup holder.”

    Reply
  2. Do you think he’d mind if I just rip off one of his ideas? I totally want to use “He looks at
    Tom’s dead body for many days and becomes a psycho.”

    Reply
  3. That is sick! I would never go see that movie. I had to stop half way through his plot description. About the time that he had a major plot whole. Why would he tied the detective up and kill other people but not him?
    Whatever you do, don’t represent that script. 🙂
    Now if only people would actually send requests to the right people….

    Reply

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