The Personal Touch

I got this "personal" email today from Matt Burke at Vendorpro:

I’ve been to your Lee Goldberg website and I think your books are perfect for our stores. I especially like "Diagnosis Murder Series". We work hand in hand with the largest stores in the country, plus thousands of small to medium sized specialty businesses stretched across the U.S. If you want the opportunity to sell your books through major retailers like Barnes and Noble, Borders,, Waldens, Target, QVC, HSN, etc …plus the other 51005 gift stores, 16826 bookstores, and over 24000 mail-order catalogs…check us out.

Here’s what I told Matt. I thanked him for the personal email. It gave me a good indication of his honesty, attention to detail and professionalism… because if he’d really been to my site, he’d know my DIAGNOSIS MURDER books are published by Penguin/Putnam, one of the largest publishers in the world, and are already available at major retailers.  Matt needs to work on his pitch (or at least do his homework) before sending out his junk mail — or, at the very least, give up the pretense that he knows anything about me or my books.

12 thoughts on “The Personal Touch”

  1. Gee, I got the same e-mail. Wow–I was almost honored, until Matt told me that he could get me listed on Amazon, of all places, and Barnes & Noble, and Target, and every other web site where my book, MURDER ON THE MIND, is already listed–and for the low-low price of only $300.
    Yeah, Matt, I was almost impressed! NOT!

  2. I found the one I received particularly entertaining as he said he enjoyed SECOND HAND GOODS.
    Um… That one never made it to print as the publisher suffered a serious collapse in finances and, more importantly, credibility.
    Kind of called that whole “Love your blog” line into question.

  3. I’ve been getting the same publicity offers from the scoundrels at, none of whom have examined my credentials.

  4. I’ve been to your Lee Goldberg website and I think you’d be perfect for the “Male Model” Catalog I’m compiling.
    With almost no plastic surgery I think I could get you a spot on the next Budweiser ad. Please send me $5000 immediately to register with me, your good pal Max Conn.

  5. I bet he could help Lori Jareo. Another hope for “Another Hope”?
    Okay, that was mean and worse, bad. I’ll go sit in the corner and read Publish Anything.

  6. Sounds like the guy who called me with an absolutely beautiful spiel about how he could help me build my business, find clients, make sure payments were recieved in a timely manner, and assist in any adminstrative tasks. (I was in a good mood that day, so I let him do his thing.) After about five minutes of this incredible offer, he took a breath. I asked if I could ask a question. He replied “Sure! Absolutely! We’re here to help YOU!” I smiled to myself and asked “What kind of business do I have?”
    There was the proverbial lonnnnnng pause. Then the ‘click’ of being disconnected. I’m not certain, but I do believe I heard him say something about my mom before he hung up.

  7. Son of a gun…
    Got the same e-mail as well.
    *Sniff* And I thought *I* was the only one being courted….
    Another dream shattered…

  8. My book won’t be out until December. Maybe then I’ll be able to take advantage of Matt’s swell offer. Not that I’ll need to sell many copies once my money comes in from Nairobi, but it’ll be nice to break into tough outlets like Amazon.


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