They Ought to Sell Louis Vuitton at the Student Store

Calabasas_large Everything you need to know about Calabasas, the town where I live, can be gleaned from looking at the crimes reported in today's police blotter:

A student at Calabasas High School filed a grand theft report after property was stolen from her car.

The missing items included a $1,600 Louis Vuitton brown leather purse, a $300 brown leather Louis Vuitton wallet, a $400 silver digital camera, a $250 black ipod, and a $200 Louis Vuitton leather checkbook.

She was unsure whether the doors to her car were locked and there was no sign of forced entry into the vehicle.

Gum and Cookie Caper

The Shell gas station on Agoura Road was robbed of a 14 sticks of Orbitz gum worth $3.98 and a $.79 pack of cookies.

The employee told police that a female entered the store and paid cash for $5 worth of gas and took two packs of gum. She pumped the gas and returned to the story, where the clerk asked her to pay for the gum.

The female replied, “I just gave you $30,” grabbed a package of cookies, left the store, and drove away.


4 thoughts on “They Ought to Sell Louis Vuitton at the Student Store”

  1. Okay, that’s genius. I read this whole article hearing the Dragnet narrator in my head. Ah Calabasas, with the nearby mean streets of Malibu (which I don’t think even has its own police – they borrow Agoura).

  2. Who should we feel more sorry for: the guy in high school that’s going to fall in love with her and never make enough money to continue to support her in this standard of living, or the girl, herself, who might never make enough money herself to continue in this standard of living? And will they divorce after a couple of years and end up facing years of heartache to get over each other?

  3. Never heard of Orbitz gum. Is it that sugarless crap? For the past 10 years (at least) I’ve been looking for gum that actually “freshens the breath” (and cleans the teeth) without leaving a chemical taste in the mouth. Big Red and Juicy Fruit seem to be the last survivors and Juicy Fruit tastes like shit (it’s yellow now) and Big Red is no longer available at the Winnipeg dollar store. (I stock up on the latter at the Palm Springs dollar store in the winter.)
    Who is this guy? I hear you thinking. I thought the same thing when I read your Girl With The Dragon Tattoo review. So I checked your profile. Which led me to your blog. Which led me to the kindle of edition of The Walk – which I might buy. Or maybe I’ll just wait for the audio book to become available from the library. It’s not that I begrudge you the 3 bucks, Goldbug, it’s just that I consider it a waste of time to read escapist fiction when you can listen to it while actually doing something productive. Like washing the dishes, or working out, or weeding the garden… Speaking of productive activity I guess what I am currently engaged in doesn’t exactly qualify.
    Nice meeting you and good luck with your past and future projects.


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