I have a theory that when authors become successful and honored, editors just don’t bother editing their books anymore. I’m reading a book by one of my favorite, bestselling authors and tripped over this clunky line:
Then all he could see was the names scrolling through the window of his mind’s eye like symbols on a slot machine.
A window that’s an eye that’s a slot machine? Yeah, I can picture that.
4 thoughts on “When a Window is an Eye and a Slot Machine”
I thought I was the only one with that theory! More than a theory, really. I’m sure of it.
It’s not only clunky, it’s a filter. Show don’t tell.
Is that the truth or what?
I wonder when Robert Parker last had his books edited. Lord knows, they could use it. (Frankly, I’d edit Susan out of them altogether.)
I was actually able to read that sentence just fine with the appropriate imagery associated with the words. The only possible stumbling block I can see is the grammatical error six words in.
“Then all he could see (was)WERE the names scrolling through the window of his mind’s eye like symbols on a slot machine.”
Too bad the comments don’t allow html or I could have done the whole strikeout and bolding instead parenthesis and all-caps to emphasize words with.