Me Me Me

A friend of mine asked if I knew of any other TV writer/producers who wrote tie-ins based on series they’ve worked on (as I do with DIAGNOSIS MURDER and MONK). I know of one: Ian Kennedy Martin, who wrote original novels based on the terrific UK cop show THE SWEENEY, a series he also created. I think Joe Straczynski may have written some original BABYLON 5 novels (based on the series he created). And, if I recall, one of the STAR TREK VOYAGER producers wrote a novelization of one of her episodes, but I don’t think she wrote an original tie-in. I can’t think of any others… can you?

This is a test, of sorts. I want to see if I can integrate audio and video files into my blog posts. So here is a half-hour radio interview I did last week on Gregory Vleisides’ "Metro Voice"  show on KCWJ in Kansas City:

Download goldberg_interview_.mp3

And here is the sales presentation for THE CHIEF, the unsold pilot I did a few years ago (and talked about in a blog post earlier today):

Download chief.rm

Please let me know if you’re able to download and listen/view these files. Thanks!

I was trading emails with my agent yesterday when it occurred to me that I have a lot of books coming out in the next 12 months. Here’s what’s coming…

August 2005 – DIAGNOSIS MURDER: THE PAST TENSE
November 2005 – THE MAN WITH THE IRON-ON BADGE
January 2006 –  MR. MONK GOES TO THE FIREHOUSE
February 2006 – DIAGNOSIS MURDER: THE DEAD LETTER

The only one of those four books that’s hasn’t been delivered to the publisher yet is the MONK, but it will be in two weeks (it has to be or an enforcer from Penguin Putnam will show up at my door and break my kneecaps).  In February, I’m hoping to go on a book tour along with my brother Tod, and my sisters Linda Woods  and Karen Dinino, who will also have new books out.  Maybe we can get a bus like the Partridge Family had…

Things were relaxed at the Book Festival today…perhaps because it was chillier and cloudier than in past years. I signed at the Mystery Book Store with Michael Gruber (yes, that Michael Gruber), who autographed a copy of his new childrens book for my daughter Madison. We had a very pleasant chat and neither one of us discussed ghost-writing.  Also at that signing were my friends Paula Woods and Charles Fleming.  Afterwards, I chatted with my friends Victor Gischler (who sported a bushy new beard), Scott Phillips, Terrill Lee Lankford, Jan Burke, and a number of other authors, booksellers and mystery fans.   I also got the chance to meet Seth Greenland,  who has written a highly-acclaimed, dark comic book about TV entitled THE BONES.  For obvious reasons, I’m really looking forward to reading it (I’m sending him copies of MY GUN HAS BULLETS and BEYOND THE BEYOND for his amusement).

My brother Tod’s panel on short stories, which featured folks like Aimee Bender and Steve Almond,, was packed with people and was very entertaining…though perhaps not as much as the panel of  LA Times Book Review editors past-and-present.  I didn’t attend the Steve Wasserman panel, but enjoyed reading The Elegant Variations’ play-by-play. I liked Digby Diehl’s comments, particularly this one on Wasserman’s view that the LATBR is playing to a national audience:

Diehl thought national and international aspirations were "ridiculous … ultimately the L.A. Times failed in San Diego!"

Wasserman also compared the LATBR to a dinner party at his house. What can we learn from this? If you’re invited to dinner at Wasserman’s house, bring plenty of NO DOZE.

Want to learn how to break into television? Sure you do.  Everybody in L.A. does. Well, I’ve got some good news for you. William Rabkin and I will be teaching our thrill-packed four-week online course "Writing Dramatic Television" again, starting on May 2 (and again on June 6), for Writers University.  What do you get for your hard-earned bucks? Here’s an excerpt from the course description:

You will learn—and practice— the actual process involved in
successfully writing a spec episodic script. You will learn how to analyze a TV show and develop
“franchise”-friendly story ideas. You will develop and write a story
under the direction of the instructors, who will be acting as
showrunners… and then, after incorporating their notes, you will be
sent off to write your outline. Finally, you will develop and refine
your outline with the instructors, leaving you at the end of the course
ready to write your episodic spec script…the first step in getting a
job on a TV series. 

There’s an "early bird" discount of 20% for people who enroll ten days before the course.  For more information, click here.

Read more

If you love books,  the Los Angeles Times Book Festival is the place to be next weekend.  I’ll be there browsing, buying, standing in line, and even signing a few books myself. Here’s my signing schedule:

April 23 
Mystery Bookstore 11-12
Mysterious Galaxy 12-1

April 24
Mystery Bookstore 10-11
Sisters in Crime 12-1

See you there!

My Mom was cleaning out her garage and found a handwritten story I wrote when I was ten, called THE GHOSTLY JUNKYARD. Here it is:

One day John and Juan went to the old house with a chicken coop and old cars. The old house was supposed to be haunted. So while Juan, who was 10, and John, who was 10, were looking around, John exclaimed: "LOOK, a ghost by the house!"

Juan looked back but there was nothing. Again John yelled the same thing but again Juan saw nothing. John said it was white in the shape of a person. Hair was white and shoes and everything.

The next day as they walked by the house they both saw a ghost run behind a tree. John and Juan had a reputation as Mystery Solvers. Last year they apprehended some bank robbers in Shanty Town. So to not attract attention they kept walking.

The next day they went in to the house and found a skeleton on the floor in front of the door! It had a hole in its head. It went right through his head. They quickly took a shovel from the junk and buried him. Later they went in the old house again and went to the haunted tower. When John saw a man laying bleeding from a hole through his head, he quickly ran to get Juan. When they came back it was gone! Later they searched the room and found a trapdoor and voices came out.

It was the bank robbers they arrested last year! Quickly they turned on Juan’s tape recorder and hid it while they got the police. An hour later they came back with the police and a police man said that John and Juan should go down the trapdoor so the police could arrest the robbers.

As they went down, a guy said "It’s those two finks who shot them." But the police came down and arrested them and the tape was solid evidence. So the robbers were sent to jail and Juan and John got rewarded.

What’s interesting to me is how much that reads like the stuff my nine-year-old daughter Madison is writing. Here is one of her latest stories, IN THE DARK MOVIE THEATRE.

  On one rainy day a girl named Jenny and
her dad Andrew were going to the movie theaters. They were going to see
“Because of Winn Dixie.” In the middle of the movie, Jenny’s dad heard a terrifying
sound and he was pretty sure it was not from the movie.

Andrew looked for Jenny…but she wasn’t there.

Suddenly Andrew saw a strange tall man
behind him holding Jenny by the throat!

Andrew got his cell phone out and dialed
911!

  Andrew said to the police, “ Help me my daughter is getting murderd by a
strange tall man. Come to the movie theaters immediately!”

Jenny’s dad knew Tae Kwon Do but he forgot
how to use the moves.

The strange tall man ran away with Jenny.

The strange tall man went in his car, and
took Jenny with him.

The police couldn’t find him.

The strange tall man went inside his house
with Jenny. He gave her a cup of something and said, “Drink this it will make
you feel better.”

Jenny drank it and was hypnotized. The man
ordered Jenny to kill her father!!

The strange tall man said, “Go find your
father and kill him! Do it now!”

Jenny said, “I will find my father and
will kill him with this large pointy knife!”

The strange man said, “Your father is at
your house calling everybody in the neighborhood.”

Jenny said, “How do you know??”

The man said, “ I have a special computer
that tells me where everybody is.”

“OH!” Jenny said.

Jenny went in the man’s car and went to
Jenny’s house. But one bad thing: she lived in a gated community!

Jenny had a great idea. Jenny said to the
guard, “You can let us in because I live here.”

The guard said, “Go in.”

Jenny and the strange man went to the
house, and got out of the car. The strange man hid behind a bush. Jenny hugged
Andrew and put the knife in her father’s back!

The strange man said, “Jenny we have to go
before your mother comes!”

Jenny saw her mother and said, “Hi Mom!”
Jenny’s Mom said, “What happened to
your father??”

Jenny said, “I have no clue what
happened!”

“What are you holding behind your back?” Jenny’s Mom took the knife out of Jenny’s hand.  “Did you kill your father?”

Jenny started running to the car in got in.
Jenny’s Mom called the guard and said, “Don’t open the gate my daughter just
killed my husband!”

The guard said, “Okay.”

When Jenny’s Father was dead, Jenny’s
Mother invited many neighbors and many relatives to attend the funeral. Many
people were very sad, especially Jenny’s Mother.

The police found Jenny and the strange man. The man went to prison and
Jenny was normal again.

Jenny’s Mother got married and had a baby and everyone was happy. Very
happy! 

Things may be very slow here next week… on Friday, my wife and daughter and I are heading out on our first family roadtrip, driving from LA to Santa Fe and back… stopping at the Grand Canyon, Sedona, and who-knows-where. If I may post some dispatches from the road otherwise, if I survive, you’ll find me back here around April 4th.