Here’s a book I will never read:
Dear Lee,
I would like to introduce you to Fembodyverse: An Inner-Stellar Adventure into Womanhood. Seventeen-year-old Estelle has one wish—to feel like a woman. She believes by losing her virginity she will receive this magical feeling. Not only does this modern induction fool her, but an inner voice beckons her to a more ingenuous initiation. With a trusted guide, Estelle begins her inner-stellar adventure into womanhood, traveling through her body’s vast and starry dimensions. There, she cavorts with creatures, unravels mysteries, and meets unforgettable friends as she unlocks her embodied wisdom. Back and forth from the internal world and the external world she travels, her family and friends think she’s lost her mind as Estelle courageously claims her majestic value from the inside out.
Fembodyverse chronicles the adventures of a new archetype and superheroine of our time; Estelle is here to infuse our world with inside-out value for women and girls everywhere.
I don’t know about you, but I’m afraid to ask what it means to “infuse our world with inside-out value for women” by “cavorting with creatures” and exploring your “body’s vast and starring dimensions.” But I do like that last phrase. I am no longer on a diet to lose weight. I am dieting to control my body’s “vast and starry dimensions.”
Hey, I got that same email this morning. Damn I was tempted(snort)!
What I want to know is, why in the world did she send this to you? Or did you leave our the part where she asked for a review?
She wanted a review.
Lee
I’m sorry. I’m a bad person, I know, but I was laughing while reading this. I’m speechless because I can’t think of a diplomatic way to say something about that letter.
A Christian, I’m hoping Heaven involves watching reruns of A&E’s Nero Wolfe series. I’m pretty sure hell involves reading that book. Probably more than once.
How come nobody ever says, “I thought this was a cool idea for a story, and I had a lot of fun writing it.” Who wouldn’t read that book?