Month: August 2005

IAMTW Spoofed

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When James Lincoln Warren and Paul Guyot learned about the International Association of Media Tie-in Writers (IAMTW), they cooked up this wicked spoof, a website for The Professional Hack Authors Recognition Society (PHARTS).

The Professional Hack Authors RecogniTion Society, or

PHARTS, is an organization for professional hack authors,
i.e., mercenary wordsmiths who don’t care a fig for style, content,
originality, or grammar, but are willing to write anything for money. 
We are of all ages, races, ethnic backgrounds, religious persuasions,
and sexual preferences, comprising even Old PHARTS, New
PHARTS, Red PHARTS, Blue
PHARTS.  Are you
PHARTS material?

In a back-handed kind of way, this amusing  satire underscores why Max Allan Collins and I decided there was a need for a professional organization for media tie-in writers.  We’re not stupid, we  know that tie-ins and novelizations are widely considered as hack work…even though media tie-ins regularly hit the NY Times, Publishers Weekly, and USA Today bestseller lists and handily out-sell original novels by many big-name authors. But media tie-ins rarely get reviewed and never get any respect. Hence, IAMTW.

More SOPRANOS

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The New York Times reports that the upcoming season of  THE SOPRANOS won’t be the last one after all.

Brad Grey, the new Paramount chief, who retained his title of executive
producer on "The Sopranos," said that Mr. Chase, when he got into the
storytelling for the coming season, decided it was still so rich it could be
continued, a decision Mr. Grey said that was endorsed by everyone involved in
the production.

"For the people on the show, this has been the greatest creative experience
of everyone’s life. Why wouldn’t you want that to continue?" Mr. Grey said.

One of a Kind Blurb

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My friend author Lewis Perdue, in the midst of his legal tussles with Dan Brown, actually found time to read a galley of  THE MAN WITH THE IRON-ON BADGE and had some good words for the book on his blog.

Get this book. Read it. And if you’re in the doldrums, suffering from the
heartbreak of psoriasis, the humiliation of herpes, or the agony of a lawsuit
with Random House, you will feel better after the first chapter.

Now that would make a one-of-a-kind blurb!

Rough Edges Goes Easy on BADGE

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Author James Reasoner flattered me today with some very nice words about THE MAN WITH THE IRON-ON BADGE on his blog.

This book starts out as a fine example of the humorous “lovable schmoe” school of detective fiction, and Goldberg does a good job with that part of it, but then it takes a sudden turn into darker and more dangerous territory and becomes even better. The plot becomes more complex and so
do the characters, and while Goldberg plays scrupulously fair with his clues, nothing and nobody turns out be exactly that they seemed at first. Add to that some very smooth prose and a sense of compassion for
the people he’s writing about, and you’ve got one of the best books I’ve read so far this year. Highly recommended.

Thanks so much, James!

 

Pay me for my fanfic!

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Fandom Wank reports today that a fanficcer named "cousinjean" appealed to her readers to subsidize her fanfiction writing:

I’ve gotten a lot of e-mails over the past year asking if and when I’m going to
finish both Dancing Lessons and my sequel to The Butterfly Effect. Believe me
when I say that nobody is more depressed about the unfinished state of my fan
fiction than I am. But the cold, hard reality is that I have bills and student
loans to pay, an actual paying writing career to try my damnedest to launch, and
an eventual marriage to save and plan for. The simple fact is that there is no
more room in my life for fan fiction. I’ve tried to make room. I have. But it’s
just not happening.

I realize that a lot of people will probably
judge me pretty harshly for the following, but I’m just desperate enough not to
care. I’m offering to sing for my supper, so to speak, and I don’t see the shame
in that. So here’s my proposal: if every reader who has read and enjoyed my fan
fiction over the years will donate the amount that they would expect to pay for
a hardback novel (and I’ve written the equivalent of several novels in the
course of my fanfic career), then I will be able to take a year off to write
full time. This means that not only would I be able to finish the original
novels that are languishing on my hard drive; I would also be able to finish my
fan fiction.

Basically, what I’m asking for is monetary support from my reader base in
helping me get my career as a professional storyteller off the ground. In
return, if at least half of my goal is met, I promise to continue the work that
has gained me a following in the first place. I’m asking you to buy me time to
write.

If you’re willing to do this, in addition to finished WIPs
you will also have my eternal gratitude and a mention in the acknowledgements of
my first published novel. If you’re not, that’s understandable, and all I ask is
that you never again ask me how my WIPs are coming.

This is the funniest thing I’ve read in ages. To be fair to the fanfiction community, they slapped "cousinjean" down pretty hard and within hours of her appeal, she bid fandom farewell.

(On the jump, here’s a tiny sampling of some of the 425 comments — and counting — that she got…)

Read more

Doing the Konrath

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Joe Konrath recently blogged about his book tour…and his amazing efforts to sign stock at as many bookstores as he possibly could (I think he tallied over 100 stores). His friend and mine Barry Eisler has been guest blogging at MJ Rose’s site about the importance of authors hitting the road and doing whatever they can to support their books.

So, following the lead of my esteemed and tireless colleagues, I did some drop-in stock signings this week for DIAGNOSIS MURDER: THE PAST TENSE at B&N, Borders, Waldenbooks and B. Dalton  (I have a bunch of scheduled signings/events starting next month).  Here’s my talley so far: 16 stores, 207 books signed, 16 booksellers’ hands shaken.  Out of a 50,000 copy first printing, those signings are hardly going to make an impact on my sales figures, but I figure it couldn’t hurt. I’ll hit more stores this week and next.

Another Try at Matt Helm

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Variety reports that a new screenwriting team has been brought in to take a whack at Dreamworks’ update of "Matt Helm," the spy-spoof franchise that starred Dean Martin back in the 60s.  The Dean Martin movies were very loosely based on the 27  dead-serious spy novels by Donald Hamilton.

Dreamworks first announced the project back in 2002 with director Robert Luketic ("Legally Blonde") at the, um, helm.  It’s been in development hell ever since. The "new contemporary take" will be written by Michael
Brandt and Derek
Haas .

Insert Foot into Mouth…

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…my foot, my mouth. My foot spends a lot of time there, I’m ashamed to say.

A reader wrote this comment about my blog post "Champagne Wishes and Caviar Dreams" on Tess Gerritsen.

I’m a huge fan, both of Tess and her blog, and frankly, she’s given me, as a
new kid on the block, a lot of hope and inspiration.

The unpublished treat the published like ungrateful, whiny children should we
dare to even HINT that all is not Nirvana in our publishing journey.

Publisher didn’t promote your book?

Too damn bad, at least you HAVE a book. At least you HAVE a publisher.

Worries about meeting your sell through?

Too damn bad, at least you HAVE book. At least you HAVE a publisher.

Worries about revisions, or the fact your agent didn’t negotiate a small
enough reserve against returns, and now you have a $186 royalty check?

Too damn bad, at least you HAVE a book. At least you HAVE a publisher.

It gets to the point you just shut up and don’t say a thing because of the
jealousy. Now why would we, as other writers, do that to Tess? We know, or are
learning, the ropes. She’s open, she’s honest, and let’s face it, the bigger you
are (industry-wise, of course), the bigger the problems.

It’s refreshing to read a New York Times bestselling author willing to ADMIT
IT!

You go, Tess. Keep it up.

Reading that, I felt like a total schmuck. Why didn’t I see it that way from the get-go? Tess wasn’t at fault, it was me. I was way out of line. Tess, I owe you a sincere apology.

Is it Worth Paying to be Recommended by Amazon?

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If you’ve bought a  book on Amazon, you know they will recommend another title to you that would make a good companion purchase ("Better Together" they call it). What you probably didn’t know is that the author, or publisher, can pay for that recommendation. The price of that plug depends on the bestselling status of the book you want to be paired with. Recently, a friend of mine decided to try it. He paid $750 to have his book paired with the new release by a major, bestselling author. Was it worth the money?

Amazon actually sent me the numbers on my sell-through and they are very revealing, confirming my
long-held belief that their sales rankings don’t mean a thing.  Before the promotion, I was ranked in the solid mid-low six figures – around 300,000 plus or minus. 
When the promotion started, the numbers improved dramatically, getting under
10,000 on a number of occasions and probably averaging under 25,000 for the
month.  Total sales during July – 54 books.  Total royalties earned, net of
agent’s commission – @ $27.  Cost of promotion – $750.  Lesson learned –
priceless.