Adult Material

The recent discussion here about "adult material" in my DIAGNOSIS MURDER books reminded me of a book signing I did a while ago.  I spoke to an audience of retirees in the auditorium at a retirement home. When I was done with my presentation, an elderly man raised his hand.

"Yes, sir, do you have a question?" I said.

"Who are you?" he asked.

At that point, I had just finished speaking about myself, and the books that I write, for about 15 minutes. 

"I’m Lee Goldberg," I said. "I’m an author."

I quickly turned my attention to a woman raising her hand. "Yes, ma’am."

She smiled sweetly. "You are such a nice young man. I’m so glad you came today. Have you written anything I might have read?"

I motioned to the books next to me. "These. The Diagnosis Murder books. The ones I was just talking about."

"Oh," she said. "I’m not familiar with those."

I turned to someone else with a raised hand. "Yes, ma’am, do you have a question?"

She looked at me sternly. "Is there any explicit sex in your books?"

"No," I said. "They are squeaky clean."

She shook her head, a frown on her face. "Then I’m not reading them."

7 thoughts on “Adult Material”

  1. I believe I can top that: Last year I did a reading and signing for a cause I actively support: All monies raised would go to the charity that supports said cause.
    I was the last portion of the show, I was the humor part of the program: I got up–literally climbed up onto the table where other writers were otherwise seated–and read a humor piece I had written. Folks attending laughed accordingly, I finished reading, attempted to climb down from the table, and ended up in the lap of a woman mystery writer, who seemed far too happy with me in her lap. Then I extracted myself from her warm embrace, and started talking with interested parties who had not have enough of me and my antics.
    As I was talking to this fellow I have seen at other such events this guy pushed in and demanded I sign a program from another reading/signing I had attended time ago. As I prepared to sign the program for him he yanked it away from me.
    Thinking he was trying to be funny, I decided to play along.
    He shoved the program into his coat and started away, a black mood on his face. When I asked him what the problem was he turned on me and all but snarled, ‘You’re not Jim Hess.’
    Actually, I said. I am.
    No, you’re not, he said. I know Jim Hess and you’re not him.
    This exchange went on for a full minute before he finally lost patience and left.

  2. I consider myself somewhat blessed and fortunate because no breasts or bottoms have been shoved my way with the edict: SIGN THIS.
    A cast, yes. But no boobs or back sides.
    Would it be rude to have a rubber stamp at the ready for such things?

  3. Lee,
    You should have warned me about the adult material in the most recent book. Rear male nudity, and I was caught completely unprepared!


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