Lee Goldberg

Ken Levine Is Having Lunch With Everyone

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My friend Ken Levine has posted a very funny "hypothetical" rejection letter for a spec 24 script. Among the comments:

When the CTU staff learns that Jack’s daughter Kim has been kidnapped
you have them all cheering. I don’t think they would do that. They
would merely smile knowingly to each other.

I had great lunch with Ken last week. We spent three hours sharing anecdotes about TV and blogging. He also had lunch last week with TV critic Alan Sepinwall, who seems to have had as much fun with Ken as I did. You should visit Ken’s blog. It’s just like having lunch with him, only without the food.

I Wrote a Book and it’s Up for the Nobel Prize in Literature

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I’m not a book critic, but even so every-so-often I get hit up by authors or publishers who’d like to send me a review copy of a new crime novel. I received a solicitation today from an author, and his pitch included the following publicity material (the names have been deleted to protect the innocent):

[The Book] has been blurbed by Famous Author #1, Famous Author #2, Famous Author #3 and Famous Author #4.  It’s up for the 2006 Edgar Award for Best First Novel – Famous Author #1 seems to believe it’s a shoo-in to win.

First off, the 2006 Edgars were announced last year and his book wasn’t one of them. He’s actually referring to the 2007 Edgars for books published in 2006. Fine. But it appears that he’s implying that his book has been nominated for an Edgar…which it hasn’t. At least not yet. The nominations won’t be announced until February.

So what he’s bragging about is that his book has been submitted for Edgar consideration. That’s hardly an achievement. Anybody with a crime novel published in 2006 could submit their book for consideration…and probably did. We’re talking about hundreds of submissions.

I  explained this to him as politely as I could and, to reinforce my point, I included the list of about 100 other authors who were "up for an Edgar" in the same category as him. I suggested that he drop the frivolous Edgar reference from his pitch.  What I didn’t say was that bragging that he was "up for an Edgar"  made him look ridiculous. He replied:

thanks for catching that about the Edgars, wasn’t trying to be squirrely — i’d best change it to "it’s in submission for the Edgars."

I cringed from head-to-toe in embarrassment for the guy. I probably should have dropped it there, but I wrote him back and told him that submitting your book for Edgar consideration isn’t an achievement, either. Any author with some postage stamps and a book out in 2006 could do that. What I didn’t tell him was that bragging about sending his book to the Edgar committee would make him look even more ridiculous than what he’d already written.

He may be a great writer but he has a lot to learn about self-promotion.

UPDATE  (Jan 19, 2007) He wasn’t nominated.  So much for being a shoo-in.

Mr. Monk and The Ransom Notes

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MR. MONK AND THE BLUE FLU received a rave review from Barnes & Noble’s Ransom Notes newsletter.

While the obvious audience for the Monk novels are fans of the multiple Emmy Award-winning television series, Mr. Monk and the Blue Flu
will appeal to anyone who enjoys lighthearted, comedic whodunits,
regardless of whether they’ve even seen the show. Goldberg’s succinct
writing style — with an emphasis on witty dialogue, laugh-out-loud
hijinks, and nonstop action — will make a devoted Monk fan of anyone
who picks up this surprisingly entertaining read. Rubber gloves and
moist towelettes not included. Paul Goat Allen

My publisher swears they didn’t pay for this. But even if they did, I figure it’s a win-win. Either B&N loved it, which is great… or my publisher is putting some real marketing money into the book, which is also great. So I’m smiling.

Interview with Richard Prather

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Linda Pendleton, widow of EXECUTIONER author Don Pendleton, has posted a lengthy interview with my friend Richard S. Prather on her website.  Here’s an excerpt about his  unpublished 1000-page Shell Scott manuscript THE DEATH GODS:

It’s packed in a box in my closet, and is the completed but still
somewhat messy original yellow-page manuscript that I started writing more than
a decade ago.  It turned out to be the longest Shell Scott mystery I’ve
ever written, which, if eventually published, would be #41 in the series.
And it hasn’t been published because it has never been submitted to any
publisher for publication.

Why not?  Well, for a lot of reasons that make sense to me, and
may—or may not—make sense to you, Linda.  We’ll see.

For one thing, the author’s creative work (the fun part) is
finished, but the boring stuff remains to be done.  Some of those
marked-up pages need to be fixed, some fussed with to smooth out rough spots,
before they’re all retyped or (these days) printed on 20-pound bond, or even
converted to computer-readable format on something like a Word for Windows
disk, whatever that is.  Mainly, the whole manuscript needs to be checked
and updated because it took me so lo-ong to get from page 1 to The End.   

After fairly speedily, and without significant interruption, writing 43
so-called “first drafts” (so-called because, as previously mentioned, I never wrote
a “second draft”), on this one–#44 overall and #41 in the Shell Scott
series—there were two long interruptions.  I twice, for reasons
there’s no need to go into here, had to stop work entirely on the manuscript
before it was finished…stopped the first time for nearly three years, and the
second time for longer than that.  Add it all together, including recent
years “on the shelf,” and that’s a lo-ong time.

During those years we’ve moved from the old Millennium into the new, and
the world has changed.  Not just automobile models and computers and new
same-old politicians and a “new” war or two, but us, you and me.  And I’ve
changed (as Damon Runyon used to say) more than somewhat.  Part of that
change is:  I no longer give a hoot whether The Death Gods is
published or not.   

I no longer need my name on another book to make me feel like
(harking back to childhood) “I’m gonna be a writer,”
I’ve been there/done that—43 times.

[…]The bottom line is, I’m content to let those
1000+ pages rest unmolested in their box in the closet, while I sit here in my
kitchen-library reading lots of books written by other people, and listening to
the tweeting of happy birds optimistically screeching outside, where I scattered
birdseed in payment for their songs.  And there’s no cut-off point for
them where there “ain’t no more,” not in this
house.  I’ve got lots of birdseed, and I can’t eat it all
myself.   

(Thanks to Roddy Reta and Mystery*File for the heads-up)

What’s Worse? The Affliction or the Cure?

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There was an advertisement in the newspaper today for Requip (ropinirole HCI), a drug designed to help people sleep who suffer from tingling legs at night.  The advertisement included this important safety information:

Prescription Requip is not for everyone. Requip tablets may cause you to fall asleep or feel very sleepy during normal activities such as driving; or to faint or feel dizzy, nauseated, or sweaty when you stand up. Tell your doctor if you or your family notices that you develop any unusual impulses or behaviors, such as pathological gambling or hypersexuality. Side effects include nausea,  drowsiness, vomitng and dizziness. Most patients were not bothered enough to stop taking Requip.

Of course not. They were enjoying the poker and hookers so much that they hardly minded the  vomiting and dizziness.

Get Off Your Lazy Ass and Write Ten Books This Year

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James_reasoner
Some people think Robert B. Parker is prolific. Well, he’s got nothing on James Reasoner, who today finished writing his 200th book:

When I started out in this business, I didn’t know how many books I’d be able to write, of course, let alone how many I
could sell. I thought fifty would be a lot. That goal got revised
upward to 100, then 150. Now I don’t really worry about things like
that anymore. I’m just going to write until I can’t anymore.
[…] I looked back in my records and discovered that it took me seventeen and
a half years to write my first hundred books. The second hundred took
ten and a half years. No wonder it seems like I’ve been busy lately.

And somehow he still found time amidst all that non-stop writing to see movies, eat meals, go to the bathroom, sleep at night, and be a judge for the International Assocation of Media Tie-In Writers‘ first annual Scribe Awards. I wonder what happens to him when he’s around Kryptonite.

I thought writing four books a year was hard (which is why I’m not doing that any more). I didn’t realize I had it easy. James can write that many books in his sleep. Literally.

Novel Twists

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Variety reports that The Weinstein Company has drafted mystery novelists Terrill Lee Lankford and Michael Connelly to script the feature film version of the TV series THE EQUALIZER, to be directed by  Paul McGuigan.

Connelly acknowledged in a statement that "times have certainly changed
since the days of the television show" but said he and his co-scribe
"plan to build a character that is of these times but to also keep the
heart and soul of the show intact."

It’s highly unusual for studios to turn to novelists to adapt anything, especially something as tricky as turning a TV series into a feature film…so this is a big deal. Lee and Michael must have made a hell of a pitch and knowing them as I do, you can bet it’s going to be a great script.

Meanwhile, ABC has greenlit production on MARLOWE, a pilot that’s a "contemporary update" of Raymond Chandler’s classic LA private eye. Greg Pruss and Carol
Wolper are writing and producing (Anyone remember the last "update" of Marlowe starring Robert Mitchum…and set in London!?)

Dumb Questions

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Not long ago at a signing, a reader asked me:

"How much of your books do you write?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I was wondering who writes the dialogue," she said.

"I do," I said.

"Really?" she said. "And who writes the rest?"

"I do," I said.

"Oh really," She looked at me skeptically. "Then why is Dick Van Dyke’s picture on the cover?"

I’m bringing this up because I had an eerily similar conversation when I spoke at a luncheon this week. A woman asked me:

"Who writes the dialogue in your scripts?"

"I do," I said.

"And who writes what happens?" she asked.

"I do," I said.

"So you’re telling me you write the dialogue, the mystery, the action, and everything else," she said.

"Yes, ma’am," I said.

"I thought the actors made up what they say."

"That’s certainly what the actors think," I said.

Literary Cannibalism

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Here’s a new twist on the fanfic debate:   an article in the Daily Telegraph implies that  Thomas Harris stole from Hannibal Lector fanfic for his novel HANNIBAL RISING. The article quotes some fanfic passages and compares them to passages in Harris’ new novel.

Trawling through the Lecter fanfic, one comes on other tantalising parallelisms. Six years ago, for example, ‘Leeker17’, on www.typhoidandswans.com
posted a narrative which uncannily forecasts the opening chapters of
Hannibal Rising in its detailed description of how the hero’s parents
and sister met their ends in 1944. So close is it that one might fancy
that Leeker17 had some privileged connection with Harris. Or that
Harris himself, under a nom-de-web, may be the ‘leaker’. Or, like
Blythebee, Leeker17 may just have struck lucky.

If
an author picks up and uses something from ‘his’ fanfic is he
plagiarising, collaborating, or merely playing games? One thing’s
certain. Harris won’t tell us.

(Thanks to Sarah Weinman for the heads-up!)

Charlie’s Angel’s Lawsuit

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My cousin Danny tipped me off to the California State Appeals Court’s decision this week rejecting actor Robert Wagner’s claim against Columbia Pictures seeking a piece of the profits from the two CHARLIE’S ANGELS movies. Wagner and his late wife Natalie Wood won profit participation in the original CHARLIE’S ANGELS television show as part of a complicated negotiation for the two of them to star in an unrelated TV movie.  The written decision offers a fascinating peek behind-the-scenes into the business of television.