Books

Not Interested

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I got this email the other day. Here it is, in its entirety:

For anyone interested.

Real grabber, isn’t it? Who could resist clicking the link after a pitch like that? The link takes you to a blog, where Steve Clackson has posted the first few chapters of SAND STORM, his novel-in-progress, for which he is seeking an agent and publisher. I’m not sure what he hopes to gain by sending me the link. A manuscript critique? A referral to my agent or editor? A TV series option? Whatever it is, I’m not interested. But forget about me…what about the others he’s doubtlessly sent this link to?

Does he really think an agent will stumble on his blog and offer to represent him? Or that a publisher will be so enthralled by his prose that they’ll offer him a book contract? Or that a development exec at some studio will read it and beg to buy the movie rights? Sure, some blogs and websites have led to book and movies deals. But it’s exceedingly rare.

My advice to Steve is to take the chapters down. The book clearly needs lots of work before it’s going to be ready to submit to an agent or publisher. And he isn’t doing himself any favors by posting the rough chapters publicly and — cringe — posting a cheesy, home-made "cover" and — big cringe — linking to a "review" of the pages from some blogger.

Where do people get these really, really bad ideas?

UPDATE 5-26-06:  For reactions and discussions prompted by this post, look here, here, here, here, here and here. The consensus, with a couple of exceptions, seems to be that I’m a bully who reacted too harshly (one blogger, David Thayer,  likened this dust-up to "Godzilla vs. Bambi"). Perhaps that’s true… I was certainly in a sour mood last week.

Movie Posters as Cover Art

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Bookslut pointed me to an interesting article in The Guardian on movie posters as cover art.

"It’s a no-brainer. You’d be crazy not to do it," says Marcella
Edwards, senior commissioning editor at Penguin Classics. The sales
surges that come with a film or TV tie-in book cover are irrefutable.

[…]The film or TV tie-in cover, which generally lasts for around three
months (the life of the film, and sometimes the DVD), often running
alongside the original paperback design, is an ever-growing trend in
publishing. "It’s happening more and more often," says Edwards.
"Publishers have got wiser. You’d be stupid if you didn’t do it."

[…]Film tie-in covers might be glossy and glittering and force a surge in
sales, but they are truly the Ivana Trumps of the book jacket world.

Mystery Scribes Score TV Deals

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Oxygen has gone shopping for new series at their local mystery bookstore. The network is developing NICKY VELVET, based on the stories by Ed Hoch, and ROBIN HUDSON, based on the books by Sparkle Hayter.  Congratulations to them both!

In other TV news, NBC has officially picked up STUDIO 60, Aaron Sorkin’s new series about the making of a SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE-esque show starring Matthew Perry. The network has already picked up THE BLACK DONNELLYS and KIDNAPPED for next season. HBO has ordered SEXLIFE, a one-hour comedy/drama about relationships in the SEX IN THE CITY mold and Fox is reportedly snagging the hostage drama PRIMARY.  Last season, there were shows about invading aliens on multiple networks, this fall it looks like kidnappers are going to be everywhere…

Read more

Stop Whining

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Garrison Keillor is tired of writers who whine about how hard it is to write:

It’s the
purest form of arrogance: Lest you don’t notice what a brilliant artist I am,
let me tell you how I agonize over my work. To which I say: Get a job. Try
teaching eighth-grade English, five classes a day, 35 kids in a class, from
September to June, and then tell us about suffering.

The fact
of the matter is that the people who struggle most with writing are drunks.
They get hammered at night and in the morning their heads are full of pain and
adverbs. Writing is hard for them, but so would golf be, or planting alfalfa,
or assembling parts in a factory.

The
biggest whiners are the writers who get prizes and fellowships for writing
stuff that’s painful to read, and so they accumulate long résumés
and few readers and wind up teaching in universities where they inflict their
gloomy pretensions on the young. Writers who write for a living don’t complain
about the difficulty of it. It does nothing for the reader to know you went
through 14 drafts of a book, so why mention it?

Show Him the Money

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Robert B. Parker tells Zap2it that he has no hesitations
about selling his books to TV. 

The good-humored, Massachusetts-based Parker claims
"how much?" was his only question when the screen deal was made for
his Stone books.

"Seriously, somebody once asked me, ‘Why do you sell your books to Hollywood?’ I answered,
‘For money! What other reason is there?’ That’s not just for the television rights, but the books sell better. My latest Jesse Stone novel (‘Sea Change’) started higher and lasted longer on the New York Times best-seller list than any other. And gee whiz, Tom Selleck has done several Stone movies in the past year or so. I wonder if there’s a connection." 

That said, Parker is mightily impressed with the TV versions of his Jesse Stone novels. So am I. I’ve enjoyed all three of them and am looking forward to more.

"Selling your book is like selling your house," he
reasons. "You can go by it a year later, and they’ve painted it an ugly
color, but it’s not your problem anymore. In this case, when I saw the first
movie (last year’s ‘Stone Cold’), I actually got tears in my eyes. It was the
first time I’d ever seen stuff that I wrote come to life like that on the
screen. I think Tom has so nailed the character, it’s almost
breathtaking."

The Jareo Hits the Fan

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The Lori Jareo flap has begun drawing the attention of the mainstream print media after raging in the blogosphere for the last week. As the Dayton Beach News reported:

After it was pointed out by writer Lee Goldberg and spread around by a
growing network of bloggers it became very obvious that Ms. Jareo’s
circle of friends, family, and acquaintances was about to include the
entire LucasArts legal team. Reading the assorted posts this weekend
was like standing amongst a crowd of people watching a swimmer
cheerfully strap on raw meat before diving into the shark tank.

The newspaper notes that her biggest critics were fanfiction writers themselves, who worried about the implications for them of her stupidity.

When you know that what you
are doing is, at best, tolerated by creators you respect who can make
you stop at any time, you get very annoyed when someone walks up and
slaps them. All it would take is for enough authors to start yelling:
"That’s it, everyone out of the pool," and the online world of fan
fiction would fade away.

The more likely result, as Publisher’s Weekly notes, will be more intense scrutiny of POD titles by online booksellers. So far, only one person has come out publicly in support of Jareo, NPR commentator Lev Grossman, who dubbed her an "unsung hero" of the wired universe.  Jareo has remained silent.

Mr. Monk and the Nice Reviews

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My week is off to a great start with two nice reviews for MR. MONK GOES TO THE FIREHOUSE.  The current issue of MYSTERY SCENE notes:

The first in a new series is always an occasion to celebrate, but Lee Goldberg’s TV adaptations double your pleasure. No longer restricted by time, budget and pace of TV production, this terrific TV writer’s latest, MR. MONK GOES TO THE FIREHOUSE brings everyone’s favorite OCD detective to print. Hooray!

And Cynthia Lea Clarke at FUTURES MYSTERY MAGAZINE says, in part:

If you are a fan of the television show MONK, you’ll love this book. If you never had the pleasure of watching a MONK episode, then you should read this book… (Goldberg’s) words are witty, charming and so Monk. Superb! It’s a fast, easy, delightful escape. An excellent read!

My thanks to both Mystery Scene and Futures for their flattering comments.

Learning Howdunit

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The Rutland Herald has an article today (from the Columbia News Service wire) about how mystery writers use consultants and, as an example, talks about how Dr. Doug Lyle and I work together. But if you’re a DIAGNOSIS MURDER fan, and haven’t read THE SILENT PARTNER yet, skip the article — there are major spoilers in it.

"I know absolutely nothing about medicine," Goldberg said. "But I do
know how to write a mystery. I craft situations where I need a medical
clue, then I call Doug. I simply couldn’t write these without him."

Lyle
is part of a select group of plot consultants who help mystery writers
bump off characters with scientific exactitude. He shows writers how to
poison people properly, open up a skull correctly for an autopsy and
talk like a homicide detective to make the character believable.

The article also appeared in The Toronto Star and the Indianapolis Star, among many other newspapers.

Book Award Schmoozing

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I attended the LA Times Book Awards tonight at UCLA and had a grand time (Robert Littell won the Mystery/Thriller prize for, as presenter Mary Higgins Clark put it, "the best book of 205 (sic)"). Denise Hamilton, who didn’t have her ticket, snuck in pretending to be my date. It was amazing to watch Denise effortlessly drift past the eagle-eyed ticket-taker as he scanned my single ticket with a bar-code reader…and then pretend to be so thoroughly engaged in conversation with me that the second line of attendants who were double-checking tickets didn’t catch her, either.  No wonder she writes detective novels.

After the ceremony I attended the reception, where I had a chance to catch up with my friends Steve Cannell, Patricia Smiley, Walter Sattherwait, Dick Lochte (and his lovely wife), Tom Nolan, Terrill Lee Lankford (and his supermodel girlfriend Heidi),  Jan Valerio (of Barnes & Noble), and Lita Weissman (of Borders), among many others. I also met legendary author James Crumley and made a whole bunch of new friends, including bloggers Mark Sarvas and Laila Lalami. Among the highlights was watching my shameless brother Tod chat up former LA Times Book Review editor Steve Wasserman, a man he regularly trashed on his blog.   Tod has chutzpah, I will give him that.

Okay,time for bed. I need to get some rest for the book festival tomorrow!