Current Affairs

Left Coast Crime 2

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It’s mid-day Friday at Left Coast Crime… and it’s shaping up to be another lively day at the conference. There was a interesting, and very funny, panel on mystery reviewing moderated by Steve Brewer and featuring David Montgomery and Carl Brookins. I had to leave mid-way through to do a panel of my own — Why Would Anyone Want to Read a TV Show? — and had a lot of fun telling stories about TV. I sat in on Lewis Perdue’s talk about what happens when events in your novels come true… and caught up again with David Montgomery and Nathan Walpow to talk about the reviewing biz and small press publishing. Then it was off to the book room, where I tried to avoid buying by chatting with Victor Gishler and Denise Hamilton about balancing family and writing committments. I just finished a nice, long lunch with Bill Crider, Charlaine Harris,  Bob Levinson and Walter Satterthwait, talking about ghost writing, panels we’ll never forget, and other stories from the writing life.

It’s already been a pretty full day… and it’s only 1:15. I’m on a panel coming up on funny things that have happened at book signings… sadly, I have LOTS of stories I can tell…

Left Coast Crime

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Howdy from El Paso, the ugliest city I have ever been too…which is all the more reason to stay in the Camino Real hotel and hang out with all the authors who are here (who seem to outnumber the fans). Not much to report… I haven’t been to a single panel yet, but I’ve spent a lot of time catching up and talking shop with my friends.

I had a terrific dinner at Cafe Central on Wednesday night with authors Joel Goldman, Twist Phelan, Harley Jane Kozak, Doug Lyle, Bob Levinson, Reed Coleman, Dan Hale, Kirk Russell and a number of others… sharing funny anecotes and horror stories.

I started my day Thursday tooling around El Paso with Joel… and discovering there wasn’t much to see. We were back at the hotel by noon, just in time for the opening of the book room, where I spent too much money buying vintage paperbacks by Vin Packer, Dan J. Marlowe, and Bart Spicer. I caught up with my friends (Bill Crider, Victor Gishler, Barry Eisler, Zoe Sharp, Meg Chittenden, and David Montgomery) and made some new ones, like Walter Satterthwait and Carl Brookins. 

Walter and I had a thoroughly enjoyable lunch under the Tiffany glass dome in the Camino Royale bar, discussing writing, our experiences at St. Martins,  and some forgotten authors from the 50s and 60s.  Later, Carl and I sat for quite a while in the bar, talking about publishing, the TV business, and the late, great Harry Whittington.

After the early evening reception at the El Paso Museum of Art, it was off to a BBQ joint in New Mexico (about 11 miles away) with SJ Rozan, Denise Hamilton, Jim Born, Doug, Joel, Kirk, and Reed where the lively discussion included the pluses-and-minuses of outlining, the insecurities we share about writing, and the best way to integrate "clues" into our narrative. 

I always leave these dinners so energized… the sense of community among mystery writers is really unique and truly helpful. It’s such a relief to know that all the obstacles and set-backs I experience are shared by other writers, too!

Tomorrow morning I have two panels…one on writing tie-ins, another on funny experiences at book-signings. It should be fun.

Big Deals For TV Scribes

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Lots of good news for TV writer/producers today…

Former LAW & ORDER producer Barry Schindel has signed a multi-year pact with Paramount that includes taking over as the showrunner on NUMBERS.

THE SHIELD creator/producer Shawn Ryan has signed a three-year deal with Fox that will net him "the high seven figures."

Production is about to begin on "Locked and Loaded," the feature starring 50 Cent that was written by my buddy Terence Winter and directed by Jim Sheridan.  Terry wrote some of the best-loved, and most honored, episodes of THE SOPRANOS…proving that having THE NEW ADVENTURES OF FLIPPER on your resume isn’t necessarily a career-killer… which is a big relief for yours-truly.

And Ben Affleck is in talks to play actor George Reeves in "Truth Justice and the American Way," a movie written as a spec by my buddy Paul Bernbaum (who once owned the original Superman suit and displayed it in a glass case in his living room).  Adrien Brody and Diane Lane also star. Paul and I worked together on LIKELY SUSPECTS and MARTIAL LAW… proving that having those two shows in your past won’t stop you from enjoying success in feature films… which is also a big relief to yours truly.

The Artful Writer

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Thanks to John August, I discovered Craig Mazin’s The Artful Writer, one of the most interesting and fearless blogs around about the business of screenwriting…or, more accurately, the issues being discussed among the various factions of the Writers Guild of America. While I don’t always agree with the views expressed on the site, I am enjoying the lively debates… and learning some things along the way.

In recent days, they’ve tackled the influence of rarely-employed members on Guild policy,  the pros and cons of listing all contributing writers in movie credits, and the conflict between WGAw and WGAe.

If you’re a member of the WGA, or curious about the issues facing professional screenwriters, I urge you to check out the site.

A Writer’s Life

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This weekend was a good example of what life is like for a professional writer:

  • I wrote an article about writing DIAGNOSIS MURDER: THE WAKING NIGHTMARE for MJ Rose’s excellent Backstory blog.
  • I traveled to San Francisco to speak at a writers conference.
  • I  proofed the copyedited manuscript for my fifth DIAGNOSIS MURDER novel, which has to arrive in NY no later than Feb. 23.
  • I proofed the galleys for my novel THE MAN WITH THE IRON-ON BADGE, which have to arrive on my editor’s desk no later than Feb. 23.
  • I revised the manuscript for my sixth DIAGNOSIS MURDER novel, which is due March 1, but that I need to finish by Feb 22, so I can stick it in the FedEx packet with the copyedited manuscript for DM #5… because I am leaving on Wednesday to attend & speak at Left Coast Crime in El Paso.
  • I drove back to L.A. from S.F…and thought about the plot for my seventh DIAGNOSIS MURDER novel.  I made  some notes when I stopped for lunch.
  • I posted some articles on my blog.
  • I wrote some notes for a network pitch meeting that’s set for Tuesday.

And this was a light weekend… I didn’t have to write a script or write a chapter in a book.

The Morons of the World Have a New King

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While I was up in the Bay Area, I clipped this story from the San Francisco Chronicle:

Jonathan Fish, a 20-year-old San Francisco resident, was cruising across the upper deck
of the Bay Bridge at 10:40 a.m., smoking a cigarette. When he got near the
Harrison Street off-ramp, he rolled down the window of his white 2004 Ford
Expedition SUV and tossed out the butt, authorities said.

Instead of bounding along the pavement, however, the still-lit cigarette
blew back in and set the interior of Fish’s $30,000 SUV ablaze.  Black smoke filled the vehicle. Fish pulled over to the far left-hand
lane about 100 feet from the Harrison Street exit and leaped from the
Expedition  —  leaving the SUV in neutral instead of park.  The flaming Expedition rolled driverless into a guardrail by the exit,
where it crashed to a stop and burned to the frame.

California Highway Patrol officers and fire crews arrived and closed the
off-ramp until 11:45 a.m., tying up traffic all the way back to the toll plaza.
Fish had his hair singed but was otherwise unharmed.

The guy is being charged with littering… and criminal stupidity.

The Lit Nazis

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These are some very scary people.  Let’s hope nobody ever teaches these morons how to rub two sticks together and make fire, or lots of books are gonna be burned.

Among the books they think are "vulgar titles" and "pornography" include I KNOW WHY THE CAGED BIRD SINGS, ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST, ALL THE PRETTY HORSES,  BELOVED, SLAUGHTERHOUSE FIVE,  and CATCHER IN THE RYE.

If they think those are bad, let’s hope they never get around to reading THE BIBLE.

Situations I Never Want to be In…

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The SFWeekly’s Harmon Leon visited a porn set and had this awkward experience.

On set, the tempo builds. It builds! It builds! It builds! Then the
rotund sound guy barks, "Let’s change the tape!" Everything comes to a
grinding halt. Harv dismounts. Still fully aroused, he takes time for a
cigarette and shares his mainstream aspirations to be a stand-up
comedian.

             
Being in the comedy industry, I offer advice to nude, aroused Harv.
 

             
"When at a comedy club," I advise, "be sure not to hump anything onstage!"
 

             
Harv takes this in, then pulls out a tube of lube and lotions up his Calvin Coolidge. I could really do without that.
 

             
"OK guys, we’re back to work again!" commands the director.
 

The Power of “Yes”

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Craig Mazin at The Artful Writer offers this piece of advice to working screenwriters:

If you’re a professional screenwriter and you’re asked to make a change that you think is awful, say “Yes.”

Always say yes.

Destroy the main character? “Yes!” Change that brilliant ending that
brings everything full circle with a twist-and-a-half? “Sure!” If the
producer or director has an idea that’s just god-awful, death-dealing,
movie-wrecking, story-killing, your answer to the request should be a
charming and pleasant “Okay!” Say it with pride. Alacrity, even.

Why?  Because saying yes costs you nothing, and gains you much.

When I say “yes,” I’m not agreeing to be slavish.  I’m simply agreeing to try.
If I determine that their suggestion is not to be done, I can explain
why. When you remove that initial “no,” you remove 99% of the hostility
and disfunction from the writer-employer relationship while ceding 0%
of your authority and power. And it’s funny. Ever since I began saying
“yes” a few years back, two interesting things have come to pass.

I haven’t had to write anything I didn’t believe in…

…and no one’s fired me.

I don’t agree with this advice… and I’ve never been fired.  What I don’t do is say "No." What I might say is "That’s an interesting thought, but here’s what will happen to the story if I do it," or "I don’t think that’s a good idea, and here’s why," or "Let me think about it."  But I never say yes to a note I have no intention of doing. But that’s if I’m writing a TV movie or a feature or a pilot. 

On the other hand, if I am writing a freelance episode of a TV series, I might respond to a bad note by saying  "if I do that, here’s how it will impact the story," but I won’t press the point if the executive producer disagrees. I will always say "Yes." I will always do the note, gladly and with no argument, no matter what. Why? Because your job on a TV series is to do what the showrunner wants. It’s his  show, his  characters, not yours. You are a carpenter. You have come to do a job in his house.  Your job is to do what the customer wants to the very best of your ability.