How to Become Gay

An East Texas school was forced to call off their "Sadie Hawkins" day after a Christian group complained that the "cross-dressing" event encouraged kids to become homosexuals.

Delana Davies, who has two children in the Spurger school, complained this year that the tradition could promote homosexuality and got the Liberty Legal Institute, a right-wing Christian legal group, to take up the cause.

“It might be fun today to dress up like a little girl — kids think it’s cute and things like that. And you start playing around with it and, like drugs, you do a little here and there [and] eventually it gets you,” Davies told reporters.

"It is outrageous that a school in a small town in east Texas would encourage their 4-year-olds to be cross-dressers,” institute litigation director Hiram Sasser said.

Next, Ms. Davies group is going to try to ban Halloween, because it clearly promotes serial killing, Devil-worship, and necrophilia. I don’t know what’s scarier — the ignorance of Ms. Davies and her supporters or the cowardace of the school board officials.

The Saviour Of Comedy: Joe Roth?

Day Three of Love in the Time Of Tod Goldberg…

Variety reports that movie producer Joe Roth has inked a deal to develop sitcoms for CBS:

"My sole purpose in starting this company is to quickly" work on launching comedies, Roth told Daily Variety. "That’s what’s missing from TV right now. The networks have plenty of dramas, and I couldn’t develop a reality show if my life depended on it.  I’ve always found the best strategy in business is to focus on one thing."

There are plenty of sitcoms on TV, just not enough funny ones.

The last movie I walked out of and actually asked for my money back on (vs. just sneaking into something else) was the Roth "laffer" Anger Management, which nominally starred Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson. I say nominally because neither actually did a whit of acting in it. It was just drivel. Anyway, after walking out on the movie I became interested in finding out the root of my hatred of this film and found, to my surprise, that it might be Roth himself. Of all the movies I’ve walked out of in my 33 years, a total less than 30, Roth has at least five: Nightbreed,  Low Down Dirty Shame, The Jerky Boys, Daddy Day Care and the aforementioned Anger Management. On the upside, I did love Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds In Paradise.

The Final Frontier

Sexytrek I just finished watching the DVD "Trekkies 2," a documentary about STAR TREK fandom. But here’s one thing the documentarians missed… Fleshbot has uncovered Sexy Trek, a porn site for Trekkers. This is how they describe their site:

"Sexy Trek is the only sci-fi fan site dedicated to Trekkies. A universe of porn for the Trek Fetish Enthusiasts. You will get to know many people who live the Trek lifestyle to the fullest. It seems only natural for our passion to consume every area of our lives, including our sex lives. You will get to know those who live out their Trek fantasies. Our fleet command center is filled with sci-fi content. Step into the transporter. We’ll beam you up to a sci-fi galactic fantasy!"

Just when I thought fandom couldn’t get any creepier…

This Sounds Cool

Zap2it reports:

"Law & Order" is reaching back to its first season, signing veteran actor David Groh ("Rhoda," "General Hospital") to reprise a role he first played in 1990. In that episode, based on the 1987 Joel Steinberg case, Groh played a psychiatrist convicted of abusing and eventually killing his daughter. Steinberg was paroled earlier this year, leading the show’s writers to revisit the character.

What a great idea! I hope they use some footage from the original episode for flashbacks…that would give the episode an extra punch. Either way, I’m there.

It’s rare when a show revisits an old episode… and reunites the guest cast. As it happens, I watched an old episode of GUNSMOKE today entitled "Mannon" which they revisited nearly twenty years later (with Steve Forrest back as Mannon) for GUNSMOKE: RETURN TO DODGE. They did it again in GUNSMOKE: THE LAST APACHE… revisiting characters and events from the old episode "Matt’s Love Story." It really gives the story emotional resonance… and solidifies the sense that the characters live within an evolving universe… that past events (which we share with them as an audience) still ripple through their lives. It doesn’t happen in television often enough… on most non-serialized series, it’s as if past episodes never occurred.

We sort of did what LAW AND ORDER is doing  when we had private eye Joe Mannix (Mike Connors) on an episode of DIAGNOSIS MURDER. We took a MANNIX episode from 25 years earlier, reunited the guest cast (Pernell Roberts, Julie Adams, Beverly Garland) and continued the story… using the old footage for flashbacks. Boy, was it fun.

Bill Rabkin and I always try to reference past episodes — even if only in passing –in the series we write & produce. On MISSING, our characters have spoken of past events (ie episodes), acknowledging those events the way you would any life experiences.

I’m also trying to do it now in the DIAGNOSIS MURDER books… I often have the characters refer to events that happened on the series and in previous books, though not so much that it would alienate readers who have never seen the show or read the earlier tales.

The book I just finished… DIAGNOSIS MURDER: THE PAST TENSE… revolves around Dr. Mark Sloan’s first case in 1962… and I explain some events only hinted at in some of the TV episodes, particularly one we wrote guest-starring Jack Klugman entitled "Voices Carry."

I love that kind of stuff. It brings out the TV geek in me.

Scott Peterson Guilty

Petersen The jury has found Scott Petersen guilty of killing his wife, Lacy. I guess this means that Scott and OJ can’t team up as PIs — the ex-fertilizer salesman and ex-football star —  to track down the Columbian Drug Dealers, Satanic Cult Members, or Sociopathic Weirdos who may have killed their wives. Excuse me, I have to go cancel my pitch meeting at ABC…

Exec Shuffle

Variety reports that Susan Lyne is stepping in to run Martha Stewart’s company.

Former ABC Entertainment prexy Susan Lyne is going from the Mouse House to Martha’s, effective today. Lyne was appointed president and CEO of Martha Stewart Living OmniMedia at a board meeting Thursday, replacing Sharon Patrick who informed the board she wished to resign. Appointment comes five months after Lyne joined MSO’s board and nearly seven months after she got the ax at ABC along with ABC Entertainment TV Group chair Lloyd Braun.

"I had the summer to really think about what I wanted to do next," Lyne told Daily Variety. "This is a company that has everything it needs to grow. It is a really strong brand and has a deep relationship with its core customers."

This news comes on the heels of Carole Black’s announcement that she’s leaving as head of Lifetime Television at the end of her contract this winter. How are these two stories related? Rumor was that Lyne was in the running to replace Black… or perhaps to fill the vacancy left by Barbara Fisher, who left as vp of programming six months ago. Now Lifetime finds itself looking for two high-powered female execs to fill two major posts at the network.

Of course, I have a personal interest in how the Lifetime exec hunt goes… they are the network that’s running MISSING, the series I’m working on…

Mel Gibson: TV Mogul

I’m not in the hospital yet… but William Rabkin, who will be blogging for me while I am,  offers this observation on today’s cancellation news:

Remember when Mel Gibson started shooting THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST? All the brilliant thinkers in the entertainment industry said he’d gone out of his mind — a religious tract in Aramaic would not only be a financial disaster, but would sink his career.
Well, once Gibson made several hundred million dollars on that folly, the brilliant thinkers had to change their minds. Now he was a genius, and everything he touched would be golden. Of course, everybody wanted to be in business with him, and suddenly the actor/producer/director sold two series to two networks — despite a complete lack of TV experience. And of course, they would have to become the huge hits of the season, because, well, he was the guy who made a religious tract in Aramaic.
So how’s he doing? Well, one of his two shows was cancelled today — CLUBHOUSE, the CBS drama about… a ballboy for a baseball team. (Yes, a concept that couldn’t have been less appealing if it had been in Aramaic.) The other, a sitcom called COMPLETE SAVAGES, was supposed to be this season’s breakout comedy, and it’s a complete disaster, with a tiny audience and nobody paying attention.
Of course, when these shows were picked up, it was all Mel all the time. But an entire article in Variety on the cancellation of CLUBHOUSE doesn’t mention Gibson once…

Strike Two

On the heels of canceling DR. VEGAS, Variety reports that CBS axed CLUBHOUSE. Two of the networks three new dramas this season… the only ones without CSI in the title… have failed.

With the exception of JOAN OF ARCADIA, the only shows that have clicked on CBS over the last season or two have been police procedurals in the style of CSI… like CSI MIAMI, CSI NEW YORK, NCIS, COLD CASE, and WITHOUT A TRACE.

Considering that, it’s probably very wise that CBS is going with another police procedural, NUMBERS, to take the place of DR. VEGAS.

I Wish Bush Would Do the Same Thing

After 12 years in municipal government, The Acton Beacon reports that Town Treasurer Stan Smith will step down to pursue his passion of mystery writing.

"I’ve always thought I’d like to give it a shot, and now that I’m about to turn 45, it seems like the right time of life as well as the right opportunity to make a change of this kind," Smith wrote in his letter to Town Administrator Natalie Lashmit. Smith commended the town and wished his colleagues the best of luck.

We wish you luck, too, Stan. Maybe if you hit it big, other politicians will follow your lead.

Gil Mille

This has been a sad year in the world of television and film music — already we’ve lost Jerry Goldsmith, David Raksin, Fred Karlin and Elmer Bernstein. Now Variety reports that composer Gil Mille has died. Mille is perhaps best known for his TV scores for KOLCHAK: THE NIGHT STALKER, NIGHT GALLERY, THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN, and THE QUESTOR TAPES as well as the feature film THE ANDROMEDA STRAIN, among others.

I’m a huge fan of TV and film music… I listen almost exclusively to soundtracks as I write. I’ve been listening to a lot of Goldsmith, Raksin, Karlin and Bernstein over the last few month…Mille never quite attained their legendary status and wide appeal, but his scores were powerful, ground-breaking and memorable. He will be missed.