Why Reviewers Ignore Self-Published Books

Chicago Sun-Times book critic David Montgomery explains why he doesn't review self-published books.

In my experience the overall quality level of self-published fiction
is not sufficiently high for the books to be given serious
consideration. This is not to say that all self-published fiction is
bad. The law of probability alone would indicate that at least some of
it must be readable. But the vast majority of it is not.

There are many reasons for this (e.g., self-published fiction has no
third-party vetting, most of it is not professionally edited, much of
it was already rejected by agents/editors for a variety of reason), but
the bottom line is that most self-published fiction just isn't very
good.

He's right, and although he's only speaking for himself, he might as well be talking for the majority mainstream magazine and newspaper book reviewers out there.

Inexplicably, I keep getting emails from publicists and vanity presses to review their self-published authors….even though a) I am not a book reviewer and b) I am a harsh critic of self-publishing in general and vanity presses in particular.

The Mail I Get

I debated whether to post this email or not with the actual producer's name in it. I decided that I probably shouldn't but I will give you this hint…I have sparred with him here before, which is why I got this email:

 XYZ  just called me and said he wanted to read
my script. He emailed a contract and then stated that I need to pay him $600 up
front against his 15% commission. I know this isn’t normal but he is a
real producer. My question is, am I getting scammed here?

Yes, you are getting scammed. No legitimate producer or agent would ask
you for a fee. A producer also doesn't ask for, or get, a commission on sales. He may have been a "real" producer once…but if he is asking you for $600, he's not any more.

My Dark Past, the Sequel

357 Vigilante 2
Not so long ago, I was surprised when a blogger reviewed my second book .357  VIGILANTE #2: MAKE THEM PAY. Now another blogger has reviewed it, too:

…if you're
familiar with Goldberg's TV work as a writer of middle-of-the-road
crime dramas like SPENSER: FOR HIRE, HUNTER and DIAGNOSIS: MURDER, you
may notice that the .357 Vigilante books are written in the same
glossy, straight-ahead style, albeit with slightly ramped-up sex and
violence that would probably not be too outrageous for today's
prime-time audience. I don't use "middle-of-the-road" in a disparaging
way above; matter of fact, I think television could use more shows like
HUNTER in a time when solving mysteries has become a grim pursuit,
rather than something fun (yes, I realize the concept that chasing
murderers should be "fun" sounds kinda weird, but that's what murder
mysteries are all about).

I Don’t Usually Get Political Here, but…

…I am an Obama supporter and I think he's getting decimated by McCain in the debate. It is painful and disappointing to watch. McCain is making his points with more clarity, directness and passion than Obama, who I agree with but who can't seem to clearly articulate his point of view tonight. And I've lost track of how many times Obama has told McCain that he is "absolutely right." It has practically become an endorsement of McCain.

UPDATE (9/28/08) : This USA Today/Gallup poll makes me feel a lot better.  It indicates that viewers of the debate gave Barack Obama the edge
over John McCain by a 46% to 34% margin.

(Thanks to Joel Goldman for the heads-up)

Remakes and Sequels A-Go-Go

Variety reports on a slew of remakes and sequels today. Disney has signed Johnny Depp for a fourth PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN movie and he will play Tonto in a new LONE RANGER flick (honest, he will!).  Warner Brothers is bringing back Will Smith in a prequel to I AM LEGEND. And Sony TV and Geffen Records are developing a remake of THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY, which will be written by Jeff Rake of CASHMERE MAFIA.

Brilliance

041014_westWingSheen_vmed_3p
Aaron Sorkin imagines in yesterday's New York Times what it would be like if Barack Obama had a sit-down with President Jed Bartlet. It begins like this:

BARACK OBAMA knocks on the front door of a
300-year-old New Hampshire farmhouse while his Secret Service detail
waits in the driveway. The door opens and OBAMA is standing face to
face with former President JED BARTLET.

BARTLET Senator.

OBAMA Mr. President.

BARTLET You seem startled.

OBAMA I didn’t expect you to answer the door yourself.

BARTLET
I didn’t expect you to be getting beat by John McCain and a Lancôme rep
who thinks “The Flintstones” was based on a true story, so let’s call
it even.

OBAMA Yes, sir.

BARTLET Come on in.

An Unethical Affaire

The folks at Affaire de Coeur are blogging about the controversy I sparked by rejecting their positive review of my book and outing the unethical conduct at the magazine . They write:

I don’t know whether I like this blogging business. It seems that
anyone can say anything they feel like, whether it has an iota of truth
in it or not. And, if you have something to say, say it, but please own
it. What I’m finding, however, is some of the people who write on blogs
use noms des plumes because they don’t want anyone to know who they
are. I have to ask: How valid is a person’s comment if they’re not
willing to stand behind it.

For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, AdC was
attacked by a writer on his blog. Lee Goldberg accused AdC of selling
reviews and ratings vis a vis ads. He, himself, had received a five
star review from us, and neither he nor his publisher has ever taken
out an ad with us. He didn’t bother to explain this inconsistency.

I didn't say that all the reviews in AdC were bought…or that Penguin bought the rave review that the magazine gave me. What I said is that reviews and editorial content at AdC are for sale…and the price is an ad. This is from Affaire de Coeur's ad pitch:

To compliment your ad and review we also offer interviews or articles.
If you would like an interview let us know 3 months in advance so it
will go in the same issue as your review and ad.[…]Book cover ad.–This is the cover of the book that goes right beside (or above or below) the AdC review of your book.[…]We do not review books after publication unless it is done in association with an ad.

It doesn't get much clearer than that.  I also accused the magazine of a blatant conflict of interest. The facts speak for themselves:

Light Sword founder Linda Daly’s DOVES MIGRATION and REBEL DOVES both
got four star reviews, one from “Lettetia Elasser” and the other from
“Inez Daylong” . Linda also got a cover story. That sort of coverage is
hardly a surprise given that Linda’s partner Bonny Kirby, vp of sales and promotion
for Light Sword, is also Affaire de Coeur's advertising director (and a reviewer for the magazine). This conflict of interest was, of course, not disclosed to readers.

Patricia Guthrie’s book IN THE ARMS OF THE ENEMY was reviewed by
“Kimberly Swan,” who gave it five stars and made it a Reviewer’s Pick.

“Kimberly Swan” gave CJ Parker’s FUGUE MACABRE: GHOST DANCE four and a half stars.

And “Lettetia Elasser” gave Alexey Braguine’s KINGMAKER three-and-half stars.

So most Light Sword titles get four stars or better from ADC…only KINGMAKER got slightly less. But the favorable treatment doesn't end there. That's just the beginning.

A reader emailed me jpegs of four Affair de
Coeur covers in a row. Lightsword co-owner Linda Daly and/or Lightsword
authors were on three out of four of them.

Sept/Oct 2007 – The cover features the jacket of Lightsword author CJ Parker’s FUGUE MACABRE and a photo of Linda Daly.

Nov/Dec. 2007 – There’s another photo of Linda Daly on the cover.

March/April 2008 – Linda Daly IS the cover story and so is her book Lightsword book DOVES MIGRATION.

But I am sure all of this attention for Linda Daly, and the rave
reviews for Lightsword Books (four out of five of them got four stars
or better), had nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that
Bonny Kirby, the co-owner of Lightsword Publishing, is also the vp of
advertising and a critic for Affaire de Coeur. No sir. It’s just one of those happy coincidences when good things happen to good people.

It's clear that Bonny Kirby engaged in an unethical conflict-of-interest. But the ultimate
responsibility for all of this mess rests not with Kirby but with Sneed, who
is the publisher. She clearly has no respect whatsoever for her readers
or the journalistic integrity of her magazine. If she did, she would
have fired Kirby by now, issued an apology to her readers, and
instituted reforms to make sure such a blatant and unethical
conflict-of-interest never occurs at her magazine again. Instead, she misses the point…or pretends to:

To put this issue to bed, I ended up writing an editorial. I also did a
side bar on how we review for those who want fact rather than hearsay
and innuendo. Finally, I have a spreadsheet on the correlation between
ads and the number of stars a review received. (There is none). So
maybe read the editorial and the sidebar and scan the spreadsheet and
then, if you still have questions about how we review, shoot!

I'd love to read this editorial, and the rationalizations it contains for unethical behavior, but I can't find Affaire De Coeur on any newstands. So if you have a copy, please send it to me at PO Box 8212, Calabasas, CA 91372

Potter Fan Tries to Cast Spell To Free His Book

The Detroit Free Press reports that the publisher and author of the "Harry Potter Lexicon" aren't giving up trying to make a buck off of Harry Potter — even though a judge has barred publication of the book. Now they are seeking to publish the book without the copyrighted content that the judge determined was lifted from Rowling.

Roger Rapoport, a Muskegon publisher, and Steve Vander Ark, a Grand
Rapids area librarian and author, expect their attorneys this week to
file a notice of appeal preserving the men's right to continue the
legal battle for their Harry Potter book.

U.S. District Judge
Robert P. Patterson Jr. ruled Sept. 8 that the book violated Rowling's
copyright and blocked its publication.

In a 60-page opinion,
Patterson said the work quotes too directly from the Potter books and
dwells too much on a pair of books written by Rowling to explain
aspects of the wizarding world she created.

Rapoport and Vander Ark are considering whether they could edit the book to pass the judge's muster.

The Wild Wild Ross Martin

Aandj03
Writer/producers David Simkins and Marc Scott Zicree have teamed up for a  series of podcast interviews with writers, producers and actors. They came over to my house and taped one with me the other day. But I'm sure my interview isn't going to be nearly as unique and interesting as this one:  a recording of a 1978 interview Marc did with actor Ross Martin, who played Artemus Gordon on WILD WILD WEST (and, strangely, had a recurring role as a Hawaiian mobster on HAWAII FIVE-O).  Martin was also the star voice of the cartoon SEALAB 2020…you can hear his opening narration here.