Current Affairs

Hinckley Wants Some Action

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The LA Times reports that John Hinckley would like to get laid.

Asst. U.S. Atty. Thomas Zeno said Hinckley "wants to have intimate contact. His
parents want him to date, his father wants him to get married."

Hinckley’s desires, along with his thwarted efforts to woo women, were revealed
during a federal court hearing into his bid for visits to his parents’ Virginia
home, a three-hour drive from the Washington hospital where he has spent more
than two decades since shooting Reagan and four other people. Hinckley was found
not guilty by reason of insanity in 1982.

I see the makings of a WB reality show in this, don’t you?  Imagine what his feeble efforts to "woo women" must be like.

"Hey babe, I shot the President and live in an insane asylum. Would you like to blow me?"

or

"You’re a dead ringer for Jodie Foster. Has anyone ever told you that?"

or

"Want to come to back to my place and see my straight jacket?"

I’m going to call my agent and start setting up some pitch meetings.

Harley’s Adventures in TV Land

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My friend author Harley Jane Kozak shares more of her adventures in Hollywood  pitching her book DATING DEAD MEN as a TV series.

All the meetings go really well. While they’re happening. Then a
secondary reality sets in, wherein "I’d love to work with you” turns
out to mean, “I’d love to work with you, contingent upon a bunch of
other things, some of which will occur to me three days from now, after
I’ve talked to some other people.”

…conversations ensue, with Wendy, the producers, the producers’
people, our people, our people’s colleagues, Wendy’s husband, various
assistants, Other Producers Whom the Networks Love Who Might Be Right
For This Project. Our agent announces that Person X, who was so
fabulous yesterday afternoon is no longer desirable today, because of
something having to do with UPN. Or not. (The exception in all this is
Old Boyfriend who sends straightforward and unambiguous e-mails
directly to me. But he’s considered eccentric.)

I think I’m following it all until someone—e.g., my literary agent
from New York, where they speak English—says, “how’s it going?” and I
find I have no idea how it’s going or even what “it” is.

…and people ask me why I write books. I have to do something to stay sane while I work in the TV business.

“How Much Did You Pay To Get Published?”

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Author Susan McBride posted her "Slightly Sarcastic Rules for Writers," a must-read for all aspiring novelists, on Lipstick Chronicles today. Among the questions she tackles are: "How Much Did You Pay To Get Published?" "What Font Should I Use?" "How Many Pages Should My Manuscript Be?" and "How Much Did You Pay Your Agent to Take You On?"

Every time I speak to groups of aspiring writers (I spoke last night to the Ventura County Writers Club), the first piece of advice I give them is not to pay to have their book published, that it’s a complete waste of money and is not a necessary step in becoming a professional writer. This always goes over badly — because half the room has either already self-published or just sent in their checks. They want to believe there’s a short-cut that gets them past all the scary hurdles of publishing…and they don’t want to discover that there isn’t.

The Ultimate Fan Letter

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Gregg Hurwitz received a remarkable fan letter today. It began like this:

I have been reading your novel, "Minutes To Burn" for the last 10 days since the
hurricane destroyed my home and too many others here in Biloxi. I’m a physician
at the VA Hospital here, and have had to live in my office since Katrina hit in
order to be available for duty 24/7. I just wanted to say that I think reading
your novel helped keep me sane and in balance through this trial.

I couldn’t imagine a higher compliment than that.