Writers Write

Career3
My friend Lisa Klink has some great advice for TV writers who are finding it very cold out there right now:

Budgets have been cut and
writing staffs have been reduced, resulting in more competition for
jobs.  Some experienced writers are taking less money and/or lower
titles just to keep working.  Networks are ordering fewer pilots, which
is also increasing competition among writers trying to sell shows. 
There’s a general tension and uncertainty in the air, which makes the
people doing the hiring less inclined to take chances on unproven
talent.

Depressed yet?  I don’t say all this to be discouraging, just to
offer some perspective.  If you’re not getting the opportunities you’ve
been hoping for, it probably has less to do with your talent as a
writer than the stressed-out state of the business.  So what’s a writer
to do?  What we do best.  Get creative.  Expand your horizons beyond
television to other media: video games, web series, graphic novels,
etc.  Get (or borrow) a digital camera and make a short.  Write a one
act play and stage a reading.  Explore every possible way to get your
work seen and produced.

None of this is to suggest that you should stop writing new specs,
meeting new people and looking for TV work.  But in addition to a
full-frontal assault, try coming at the TV biz sideways.  Having any
kind of success in any medium will distinguish you from your
competition.  More importantly, I think it’s psychologically helpful to
any writer frustrated with the business to find other creative
outlets.  Take a break from beating your head against the wall and have
some fun with your talent.  Remind yourself that you are actually a
good writer – and become an even better writer while you’re at it.

She's right. As my grandfather used to say, "You can't catch fish with your line in the boat" (it's amazing how many different situations I can apply that advice to, just like he did). That's why I am always working on several things at once.

Today is a good example. I had a pitch at FX, I did some research for my next "Monk" novel (which is due in April), I wrote five pages of my "standalone" novel, got notes on a spec script I've optioned to some producers,  and I started sketching out some ideas for a pitch I have on the 13th.

I have my professional ups and downs, and personal ones as well, but no matter what I am always writing something. Even when I had two broken arms. It's how I stay sane and it's probably how I stay in business.

Taking Pride & Glory in Cop Cliches

The movie "Pride & Glory"  has taken a long, troubled road to the screen. Among its problems, according to critics, is that its steeped in cliches. So much so, that the New York Times used it as a primer on NY cop movie cliches that just won't go away:

THE CONFLICTED POLICE OFFICER, who is torn
between enforcing the law and watching the backs of his relatives or
buddies in homicide/narcotics/missing persons/the seven-six. By the
way, he has “seen some things.” Not things like traffic on the Belt
Parkway or a matinee performance of “Mamma Mia!” But things that he really, really doesn’t want to talk about. Just leave it alone. O.K.? Just leave it.

THE POLICE OFFICER’S FATHER,
who is either on The Job or just retired from The Job and who talks
about honoring the family — though that family could be the one in the
seven-six in Brooklyn or the one in a split-level out on Long Island.
(It helps if the father drinks too much, so that someone at some point
can reach for his glass and gently say, “Hey, Pop, you’ve had enough.”)

THE POLICE OFFICER’S SPOUSE OR GIRLFRIEND,
who has left him because he is torn between her and The Job. Yes, he is
really, really torn; leave it alone. But you know what? Jimmy, Billy,
Timmy, Tommy, Sean, whatever your name is? She can’t take it anymore.
She has to get on with her life. After an awkward hug, Jimmy, Billy,
Timmy, Tommy, Sean, or whatever leaves to see some more things.

THE POLICE OFFICER’S FRIEND OR RELATIVE,
whose behavior on The Job will place the protagonist in a no-win
situation; he gets “jammed up,” a phrase you are welcome to use. They
confront each other in a station house’s locker room, a split-level’s
living room or a bar, where their feelings are such that words fail and
only fists will do.

CORRUPTION, of
course: the kind that, once exposed, will blow the lid off this town,
and everybody, but everybody, gets jammed up. And finally, this:

ENOUGH REFERENCES TO IRISH AMERICA TO DRIVE YOU TO DRINK. But that’s a stereotype. Yeah, but I’m Irish-American, so it’s O.K. Or is it? Just leave it alone. Just leave it.

Nobody Does it Worse

The London Times lists some of the worst James Bond movie moments. I disagree with a lot of their choices, especially when there are so many truly awful moments to choose from.

For me, the worst moments were in "Moonraker" (Jaws flapping his arms, trying to fly as he fell from an airplane; Bond riding a horse to the theme from "The Magnificent Seven"), "A View to a Kill" (Bond skiing across an ice-lake to a Beach Boys song; getting into bed with Grace Jones and looking like a dirty old man),  "On Her Majesty's Secret Service" (007's arch-nemesis Blofeld doesn't recognize Bond because he's wearing a kilt!), "Diamonds Are Forever" (Bond tooling around the desert in a moon buggy), and "Die Another Day" (the invisible car and a ridiculous CGI Bond surfing a tidal wave).

(Thanks to Bill Crider for the link)

Sybil Meets Monk, eh?

Canadian broadcaster Canwest announced four new pilots that they are putting into production, including a one-hour drama called  "Shattered," which is described this way:

Kyle Logan, once the best cop in the force and now a damaged
recluse, solves crimes with the help of his unconventional forensic
squad – who just happen to be facets of his
multiple-personality-disorder.

This latest in a long-line of "Monk" rip-offs sounds more like a "Saturday Night Live" spoof of a police procedural than an actual TV show.

Is the New TV Season DOA?

TV critic Tim Goodman of the San Francisco Chronicle thinks so:

NBC's "Chuck" and "Life" haven't exactly lit up the Nielsens – so much for all that Olympics hype – and ABC's entire Wednesday night line-up, from "Pushing Daisies" to "Private Practice" to "Dirty Sexy Money" was essentially DOA when it premiered last week. If it doesn't improve
substantially tonight – and odds are that it won't – ABC is going to be forced to either cancel series or drastically alter its schedule. That's not what you want to hear with the opening bell of the fall season still ringing faintly in everyone's ears.

Poor "Pushing Daisies" did horribly last week – laid out even by the dreadful "Knight Rider," which shouldn't even be on television. And the network can't claim one
of their favorite excuses – less people are watching television – since
more than 70 million watched the vice presidential debate last week.
The people are out there. Thanks to the financial crises cratering our
economy, those people are even at home. They're sitting right there! On
the couch! But guess what? They don't like the network leftovers. Hell,
they don't even like former hits, like "Heroes." The trajectory of that series? Down. How far down? Down.

James Poniewozik of Time Magazine agrees with him.

So we've pretty much established that nobody's watching anything this season.
New shows are middling at best in the ratings, relaunched shows like
Chuck and ABC's Wednesday have cratered—even hits like House and Grey's
are not doing so hot.

[…]The conclusion? After the writers' strike, viewers didn't want a
"do-over." They wanted a clean slate. They wanted to forget most of
what they were watching before and see something brand-new, that would
remind them why they missed TV. They still want brand new. And it looks
like they will end this season still waiting for brand-new.

Speaking of "brand new," I saw MY OWN WORST ENEMY and thought it was a great pilot. I have no idea how they are going to pull it off as a series, but at least it wasn't a re-tread of a 1970s show, or a remake of a British program, or another grim procedural.

Absolutely Scary


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The wave of British TV series remakes on American networks is continuing. Variety reports that Fox is developing a U.S. version of  "Absolutely Fabulous" set in Los Angeles. Christine Zander, a writer for "Saturday Night Live," will write the script and exec produce with Mitch Hurwitz, Ian Moffet and the original creator/star/producer Jennifer Saunders. This is not the first time a U.S. network has tried an Abfab redo.  Roseanne Barr and Carrie Fisher teamed up for a U.S. version ten years back for ABC but it went nowhere.